Love Is Never Paid In Full
5/15/2011
GR 1471
Romans 13:8-10
Transcript
GR 147105/15/11
Love Is Never Paid in Full
Romans 13:8-10
Gil Rugh
We're going to Romans 13 in your Bibles. We're in the last section of the book of Romans where Paul has been unfolding in a very systematic way the gospel of Jesus Christ. And this last section of the book of Romans has to do with how we are to behave in light of the fact we have been the recipients of God's multiplied mercies in the salvation He has bestowed upon us in Jesus Christ. And we talk about it as a conduct section, how we are to live. It began by giving the exhortation, I beseech you, therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, on the basis of the mercies of God unfolded through the first eleven chapters of Romans, that you present your bodies a sacrifice. This is what God expects and requires of us—our bodies presented to Him so that now the way we live, what we do, how we conduct ourselves, how we behave is different than the world. And so he went on to say in Romans 12:2 that we are not to be conformed to this world but to be transformed by the making new of our minds. That's the work of God in salvation. He makes us new. Now we are in the process of maturing and growing as His children. The pressure is there from the world to constantly shape us, to press us into its mold, to have us conformed to the world instead of being conformed to the character of our God in all that we do.
In this section Paul really permeates it with an emphasis on love, biblical love. He did that in Romans 12, we're going to come back to it in Romans 13. Remember Paul writes under the direction of the Holy Spirit so it's not just a matter he didn't organize himself well, but it's a matter that the Holy Spirit has planned that we hear in repeated ways, not only in Romans but throughout the scripture these matters that we need to hear. Rather than organizing the Bible just around theological centers, like we would arrange a systematic theology, the theology that God has unfolded permeates the scripture. So we are brought to confront it again and again. Mixed in with that is the instruction on our practice and our behavior.
The concept of love becomes a key theme. In Romans 12:9 Paul said, let love be without hypocrisy. Verse 10, be devoted to one another in brotherly love. That emphasis on love. Now when we come to Romans 13 he's going to pick up that emphasis in verse 8, owe nothing to anyone except to love one another; verse 9, you shall love your neighbor as yourself; verse 10, love does no wrong to a neighbor, therefore love is the fulfillment of the law. This repeated emphasis on love because that becomes a foundational principle for our behavior, that we are to function in love all the time. How we behave, what we do, how we treat others is always to be controlled by the fact we are to be manifesting love toward them—God's love, biblical love, the love that He produces in our lives. The God who is love is now producing His character in us.
Come back to John 13. And we will be reviewing some of the things that we looked at when we talked about love in Romans 12. John 13, this is the last night that Jesus had with His disciples. He unfolds to them the importance of love and what love really entails. The danger in this subject when we talk about love, and it's not new, it was true in Paul's day and it's true today, that our thinking on love gets shaped by what the world says is love. If we're not careful we begin to become conformed to the world as God's people rather than conformed to God and the Scriptures. The world view of love is that it makes you happy, it is how you feel in your heart. We fall in love and just as easily we fall out of love. A handsome man or beautiful woman walks by and you say, I'm in love. Just jokingly, but there's an element of truth in the way the world thinks. It just comes that quickly. We're in love, we're out of love, we love someone so deeply we don't know what we'd do without them. And then later, I can't stand the sight of them. And we begin to think that's love. We just don't have any control of it. I can't help how I feel. That's not what we're talking about when we talk about the love God says we are to have, the love He has had for us and now we are to have for others.
In John 13:34, a new commandment, Jesus is speaking to His disciples, I give to you, that you love one another even as I have loved you. That you also love one another. That's not new in one part. As we'll see when we're in Romans 13 in a moment, that command was given in Leviticus 19 in its basic form—love your neighbor as yourself. So the command to love is not new, but what happens here it is given a new breadth, a new dimension. You are to love others even as I have loved you. That's how you are to love one another. By this all men will know that you are My disciples if you have love for one another. This kind of love. What did Christ do? He left the throne of glory to come to this earth to become a man, to suffer and ultimately die on the cross to pay the penalty for our sin. What was in it for Him? Absolutely nothing. Some have said, we were so valuable, Christ died for us. That's just the opposite of what the Scripture says. Scripture says we were worthless, without value to God and Christ died for us. Do you think God needs anything from us? What does the Old Testament say? God says, if I had a need, would I ask you? You have nothing to contribute to Me. But He loved us, Christ loved us, He suffered and died for us, for our good, for our benefit. Now we are to love one another as He loved us. And that will be the identifying mark of God's people. We are brought together as the family of God in this place. We are reflecting to the world and manifesting to the world the love of God that has now been produced in our hearts and lives for one another as God's people. So people know we belong to God, that we are His children.
He repeats and develops this emphasis in John 14:21. And we begin to understand the love He is talking about. It's not a love of feeling, it's not driven by our emotions. Verse 21, he who has My commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me. And he who loves Me will be loved by My Father and so on. This is a love of obedience and obedience is inseparably connected to love. This is why we call this love a love of action, of doing. It's not driven by emotions. I'm not saying there is not a place for emotions in love, but the love we are talking about is not driven by our emotions. Our emotions follow our actions. And so we say, I love Jesus Christ, I love God. But we live in disobedience to Him. Jesus says, no, he who has my commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me.
Verse 23, if anyone loves Me, he will keep My word and My Father will love him. And We will come and dwell with him. You see again that emphasis. If you love Me, if anyone loves Me, he will keep My word. To say I love God but I disobey, something is wrong. If you love Me, you will keep My word. So a person comes and they are living in sin. They say, I love Christ. Wait a minute, that' can't be so. Jesus said if you love Me, you will keep My word. And you're not keeping His word so you don't love Him. It's just that simple.
Verse 24, he who does not love Me, does not keep My words. And the word which you hear is not Mine, but the Father's who sent Me. So obedience to the word of God is the identifying mark of the one who loves God, is the identifying mark of one who is loved by God because Jesus said, he who loves Me will be loved by My Father. So our love is very simple. We don't put, like I can't control it, like it's just something that sweeps over you and I can't help it. I love them. Well, it's wrong, it's not biblical. But I still love them, in the way the world thinks of love. Or I can't help it I don't love them. Wait a minute, we put it back into the realm of action. What does God's Word say you must do? Do you love God? Do you love Jesus Christ? Then you will do it. It's not a matter of do I feel like it, or don't I feel like it. You do it because God says you do it and I love God and my love of God and my obedience to God are so inseparably bound together, I cannot disentangle them. Because when I am no longer obedient, I am not loving Him. And when I am loving Him, I'm being obedient. They just are inseparably joined together.
Come over to John 15:12, this is My commandment that you love one another. And note again the standard—just as I have loved you. That's My commandment. You love one another just as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friend. There is the ultimate sacrifice. I give everything I have for the good of the other person, for the benefit of the other person. I give my life. To give your money, that's one thing; to give possessions, that's one thing. But to give your life, that's the ultimate sacrifice recognized by unbelievers and believers alike. But that's the way we live as believers. You say, you don't what I have done, you don't know what I have gone through. That's it, I can't do anymore. Well wait a minute, you are still living, you are still breathing. I have not loved to the fullest extent. I'm still here speaking to you. Now God hasn't required that yet, but I have to understand when Jesus talked about self-sacrificing love, giving yourself for the good and best of others, this is what He is talking about.
Come back now to Romans 13. We'll go to another passage later that will tie to John. But look at Romans 13:8, owe nothing to anyone except to love one another. Now if you have been here for our studies in Romans, you know the first seven verses talked about our responsibility to government. So he talked about love in the last part of Romans 12, really verses 9-21 tie together as we noted when we did that. But then he moves to a seemingly totally different subject—subjection to government. Now in verse 8 after the first seven verses on obedience to government and so on, he comes to love. In verse 7 he said, render to all what is due—tax to whom tax, custom to whom custom, fear to whom fear, honor to whom honor. Seems he wraps that up. Then he says, owe nothing to anyone except to love one another. You say, what's the connection here? Well Paul transitions rather smoothly. That command in verse 8, owe nothing. That word translated owe is the same word that we have in verse 7 translated what is due. Verse 7 says, render to all what is due them. That word translated what is due is the same Greek word translated owe in verse 8. Verse 7 is render to all what is owed them and so that moves him to talk about the ultimate. But there is one thing you owe that you can never stamp, paid in full, done. That is love. So that's the connection that he talking about.
So when he talks about in verse 7, render to all what is due them, what is owed them. Those who are owed taxes, you pay taxes to; custom, other kinds of levies and fines and charges; fear to whom fear; honor to whom honor. But owe nothing to anyone except to love one another. And the point is I can never say I am paid in full in giving love to someone. That's never paid up. I'm to be sure that I'm paid up on my taxes. The honor that is due to governing authorities and so on. But I can never say I'm paid up in full in love, I don't owe anything. I mean, my taxes are current. A pastor is considered self-employed, we pay into our taxes quarterly. So come June 15 I will owe a quarterly payment. But I am currently paid up. Now June will be another challenge, like for everyone taxes are due. But when you are current you are paid up, paid in full to this point. That's never true in love.
That's the point in verse 8. I say this because some run to this verse and somehow we get off on finances. You understand what he has been talking about in the context here of owing, things like taxes and those things. They are ongoing costs but they get paid up from time to time to time. You keep them current. And the honor, you keep it current. But the love, I can never say, I don't have to give any love today, I'm current on that. I don't have to pay any taxes today, I'm current on that, I'm paid up. But that's not true of my love. So I am to owe nothing to anyone except to love one another. That's the one debt, the one obligation that is ongoing and to the best of my ability I am to be demonstrating. But I am never to that point.
It is crucial because we have people, particularly in relationships, of close relationships, marriage relationships. We always use the example. You say, I've gone as far as I can. As though my responsibility in love is paid in full. Now it may be in a situation, there is nothing else I can do in that situation. That's a little different. I can't change someone else, someone else cannot change me. So in that extent you may have done all you can in giving yourself for that person. But I can never ___________ that I can stop short of that. What can I do for them? What can I do that would be good for them, to benefit them? That's an obligation that I always have and will have until I die.
Owe nothing to anyone except to love one another. No debts, no obligations that are not current. But my love obligation is unceasing.
Now when he says love one another, he is talking primarily about believers. That was true back in Romans 12 as well when he said in verse 10, be devoted to one another in brotherly love. That emphasis on one another consistently in the New Testament is talking about fellow believers. He's going to go on here and talk about loving your neighbor as yourself and that will carry us beyond just the bounds of even fellow believers, to those who have need and we have opportunity.
Come back to Matthew 5, Jesus made this clear. And He demonstrated this because Christ died for His enemies. While we were the enemies of God, Christ died for us. In Matthew 5:43, you have heard that it was said, you shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy. And to love your neighbor is a biblical instruction, to hate your enemy is not. But that is bantered around, people develop things and they come to this that people were saying, yes, you love your neighbor and hate your enemy. I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. We saw that at the end of Romans 12. You pray for those who persecute you, you bless them, you desire God's blessing on them, you love them, you do what you can for their good and their benefit. So this command to love is not limited to believers, but that becomes a prime focus for us in our responsibility. As much as is given us opportunity, we are to do good to all people, but especially to the household of faith. I mean, if we can't get along with one another, if we can't sacrifice ourselves for the good of others in the family, as we are God's household, how in the world are we going to function with any kind of sacrificial before and to the world. Because when we don't get along with one another, when I don't function with self-sacrificing love toward fellow believers, I'm functioning selfishly. When I'm functioning selfishly, how in the world am I going to function showing love toward my enemy? I can't even function showing love toward my brother or sister, I am so selfish. So that's the point in the love that is required. It is God's love that we are to be demonstrating.
Come back to Romans 13. Owe nothing to anyone. And incidentally on the financial side, to the best of our ability it is good to stay out of debt, or limit our debt. You can talk about what the Scripture says about debt and obligations and that, but we want to keep this in its proper context. I want to be careful to the best of my ability, I want to be current on everything. So owe nothing to anyone except to love one another. For he who loves his neighbor has fulfilled the law. Remember there is a strong Jewish presence in the church at Rome. We saw this back particularly in Romans 2 and it has come up several times in the book of Romans. And some Jews who professed faith in Christ were trying to put Gentiles in this Gentile church under the Mosaic Law. Paul has made clear that Jews and Gentiles alike are condemned as sinners and the Jews have the law of God given to them. They are responsible under that law. The Gentiles don't have the Mosaic Law given to them, but they have the law of God inscribed on their heart and they are responsible before God. But here particularly he picks up on the Mosaic Law and says that he who loves his neighbor has fulfilled the law. How can that be?
Note the explanation, verse 9, for this, you shall not commit adultery, you shall not murder, you shall not steal, you shall not covet. And if there is any other commandment, it is summed up in this saying, you shall love your neighbor as yourself. And that comes from Leviticus 19:18. So you could summarize it. So he gives a sample of commands that deal with our relationships with one another and how the Jews were to function in their relationship. But he says, any other commandment can be summed up and included in this one statement—love your neighbor as yourself. Because this is a love that functions for the good and benefit and well-being of the other person. Is committing adultery good for my spouse? When I commit adultery, would that be good for my wife? No. Is it good for the person you are committing adultery with? No. Immorality is selfish, it is for selfish pleasure. It is not a demonstration of love. Love is never involved in an immoral activity, it is always lust, selfishness and not love. Don't steal. Do I steal from someone because it is good for them that I take what they have? Of course not. If I really want to do what is best for them and good for them, I wouldn't be stealing from them. That's selfish, right? And people go to prison because they embezzle other people's money, they steal other people's money or steal it in another way. That person doesn't come and say, they stole my stuff and that was for my good. That's not for anybody else, it's selfish. Covetousness, I desire for myself what someone else has. Murder, of course obviously, I didn't kill them because I loved them so much that it was for their benefit. You can sum it up, love does no wrong to a neighbor. Therefore, love is the fulfillment of the law.
Come over to Galatians 5. You know you have to be careful there is no misunderstanding. When people are told they are not under the law, they think that now they are free to do as they want. That's not true. You've been set free in Christ to do what God wants. So in Galatians 5:13, for you were called to freedom, brethren, only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh. But through love serve one another. I don't say, now I'm free from the law, oh blessed condition. Sin all you want for there is remission, as we make the little diddy. No, it's just the opposite. I am now through love to serve others. To use it as an opportunity for the flesh would be selfish. For the whole law is fulfilled in one word, you shall love your neighbor as yourself. That's the point. I love them as I love myself. Now I don't have to start to learn to love myself, we'll read that in a moment. I already do love myself. Do you know what I did when I got up this morning? I looked in the mirror, oh no, what am I going to do? Well you begin to work on it, right? All of you did and I'm thankful. We take care of ourselves. You have a problem and a pain, you go to the doctor. We want it fixed, you take care of yourself. We do that. Well we are to take care of others just like we take care of ourselves. We need to be concerned for their well-being, for their benefit, for their happiness, for what would be pleasing to them and cause them joy in the proper biblical sense. But if you bite and devour one another, take care you are not consumed by one another. What a think to have to say to the churches at Galatia. If you bite and devour, take care you are not consumed by one another. How many churches have been destroyed by their internal conflicts? Isn't it tragic? They just tear one another apart over silliness.
I've shared with you, for a few years while I was a student in seminary, I pastored a church with a center aisle. I was thankful when I came to Indian Hills that even the chapel and now this doesn't have a center aisle. Do you know why? I could tell you the name of the family, that was their allies, that side. The other family, these were their allies on that side. Too bad for the person who came in visiting on Sunday and didn't know because once they sat down, they were marked people. Now you had joined that side. And that's a church? That church no longer exists, it's folded up and gone. That's what happens to churches that bite and devour. I get calls from churches from time to time that say, we don't know what to do. Our church has been all torn apart, there are not enough people left to function anymore. Well what do you do? We bite and devour. Wait a minute, was this a fellowship of believers? What happens when you begin to function selfishly? Self is never satisfied and it grows, and its selfishness grows. I being to think selfishly in my relationship with my wife. Does that make our relationship better? No. Pretty soon my desire for more from her and my expectations from her grow and pretty soon you just can't do enough to please me.
I was reading some history of Roman emperors back in biblical times. These men come to power. I was surprised that some of them say, he started out as a good ruler and respected by the people, but he got power and found out he could get more for himself. Pretty soon he became absorbed, and everything was for him, everything had to be done for him and people were just to be used for his pleasure. And it just grows and grows and soon consumes.
All of that, love your neighbor as yourself, don't use your freedom in Christ for selfish purposes. Your freedom in Christ is now, we saw in Romans 6, you've been set free from the slavery to sin and become a slave of righteousness, a slave of God. That's why we have presented our bodies as a sacrifice to Him.
Turn over to Ephesians 4:32, the last verse of chapter 4. Verse 31, let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, slander be put away from you along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other just as God in Christ has forgiven you. Do you see the standard? We do it just as God in Christ has done for us.
Back up to Ephesians 2. Here is our condition when God had to deal with us. Verse 1, you were dead in your trespasses and sins when we walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air. The same spirit now working in those who continue in their disobedience to God. Among them we, too, all formerly lived in the lust of our flesh, indulging the desires of the flesh and the mind, were by nature children of wrath even as the rest. The objects of God's wrath, God's hatred, God's judgment. But God being rich in mercy because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our transgressions made us alive together with Christ.
So you come over to Ephesians 4:32 and we are to be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other just as God in Christ has forgiven you. That's the standard. It's not how you treat me or I treat you, it's how God has treated me. Foundationally there are only two in this relationship—God and me. How has He treated me? What has He done for me? He has bestowed His love upon me, one undeserving, unworthy, His enemy. Now that He has bestowed His love upon me, He says I am to manifest that to others, just as God in Christ has forgiven you.
So you come into Ephesians 5, therefore be imitators of God as beloved children. We are His children, the objects of His love. We are to imitate Him, follow His pattern and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering, a sacrifice to God. Now we are called to follow His example. We are not saved by trying to follow the example of Christ. But now one who has been saved by the grace of God, been made the recipient of the love of God, we are now as His children to be imitators of God.
People say to me, some of you knew my father in the time he was here, they say, the older you get, the more you look like your father. Sometimes I can't tell whether that's a compliment or a condemnation. But it's true. We look at the kids and as they get older we say, they look more and more like their mother, like their father, whatever. That's what has happened to us in our relationship to God, we are to look more and more like Him in our behavior. They behaved just like Christ behaved. Not just in the superficial ways that sometimes get promoted. Love, self-sacrificing love. They are so kind, so patient, so forgiving. Where do we go to?
Verse 3, immorality, impurity, greed, none of these things must be even named among you as is proper among the saints. How could those imitating the loving God that has forgiven them be involved in immorality? The very opposite of love, totally selfish, putting my own passing pleasure before my spouse, before my children, before the testimony of our church. Before anything else, it's me because it gives me pleasure. Impurity, greed. It oughtn't even to be named, there oughtn't to be even a hint of this among us. It's just not proper for holy ones, saints, holy ones, those set apart by God for Himself. We oughtn't even to be tainted with these things. Jude says we hate the garment spotted by the flesh, marred by the flesh. This just is not even there. We ought to keep that kind of distance because that would be selfish. Doesn't mean it wouldn't give me pleasure. There are the pleasures of sin for a season, but they are selfish. We are functioning in love. The Savior who though He existed in the form of God did not regard equality with God a thing to be held onto. But He emptied Himself and took the form of a servant, became obedient, even to the point of death, even death on the cross. Therefore God has highly exalted Him. The fullness of the pleasures and joys and blessings that Almighty God has prepared for us is what we look for. The world grasping for selfish, self-centered pleasures in the present now time. But we are living differently in the world and the family of believers is to be living differently. So we are to be manifesting love. That's the outstanding characteristic. That takes care of these other things. Functioning in love. Controls our behavior, now we will be what God wants us to be, intends us to be.
Come down to Ephesians 5:25, husbands, love your wives just as Christ also loved the church. Do you see the standard God gives? We forgive as God has forgiven us, we love as God has loved us, we love as Christ has loved us. We want to measure and say, I've done more for them than they did for me; therefore, I am justified in saying I don't owe them anymore love. That's not the measure. What did Christ get from me? What did He get from you? Nothing. Remember Romans 3? We were worthless when God looked at us. There was no value in us, He didn't die for us because we were so valuable. The great demonstration of God's love is that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us. There is no value in us for God. What could we bring to a holy God who has everything and has no need outside Himself? He is the self-fulfilled, self-sustaining God. Yet His Son came and died for us. That's the point.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church. What did He do? He gave Himself up for her. Sometimes people say, I don't love her anymore. Well, you need to come to know the Savior. Oh, I've been saved, I know I'm saved. Christ says if you love Him you will obey Him. You tell me you don't love her. Christ says you have to love your wife as He loved the church. Now somebody is a liar and it's not Christ. And God is the God who cannot lie. So you sit here in my office as an unloving liar. That's the only choice. Let's be honest, let's not play games with one another. Husbands, love your wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her. God never said that it was going to be easy to live with your spouse. You love your wife and you give yourself up for her, that's biblical love. None of us here have been called to give our lives for our wives, but that's the standard. So as long as you are still breathing you know you haven't done everything God says you have to do. Now that doesn't mean there aren't times when a spouse takes off and there is nothing that can be done. You can't do any more than you've done because you can't change another person. I understand that. But I can be what God says I must be because He gives me the grace to do that. And it's helpful. All I have to be concerned about is God and what He says I must do. I'm the only person I can change. I can teach you but I can't change you. So if I faithfully taught you, I'm not going to take responsibility for your behavior. My children are adults, if they do something wrong, I'm not responsible, they are. You see that I am free now to just pour myself into being what God says I must be and to do what God says I must do.
Husbands, love your wives as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her. So verse 28, husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife, loves himself. No one ever hated his own flesh. You ought to have that underlined. Takes care of self-love. You don't need any more self-love, you have more of that than you need. No one ever hated his own flesh. That's God's evaluation. You have to learn to love yourself before you can love others. That's the thinking of the world, that's not the teaching of Scripture. We already love ourselves. That's why the Scripture says love others as you love yourself because you already do that, you already take care of yourself, you already look out for yourself, you already think about yourself. No one ever hated himself, but nourishes and cherishes it, his own flesh, just as Christ does the church. Nevertheless, verse 33, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself and the wife is to respect her husband. Love, that's it, self-sacrificing love.
Doesn't it say something? They do polls, and those who claim to be evangelicals and evangelical churches, do you know what? The divorce rate is the same as in the world, those who don't claim to be evangelicals and don't claim to have those beliefs. Not saying divorce is an unforgivable sin, thank God for forgiveness. But something is wrong. We talk about love, we say, I know about love, I know what the Scripture says about love. It's not enough to know. Knowledge puffs up, love builds up.
Let's go to I Corinthians 13. We can't talk about love without reading I Corinthians 13. Reading I Corinthians 13 is easy, memorizing I Corinthians 13 is not so difficult. Living and putting into practice I Corinthians 13 just stretches you to the end. It takes the work of the Spirit of God in a life to make it happen. Here he tells you what love is. And he tells you if you don't have love, you don't have anything. That's how he started out. Verse 1, if I speak with the tongues of men and of angels and do not have love, I'm just making noise. If I have the gift of prophecy, I understand all mysteries that God has unfolded and will unfold and I have the kind of faith I can move a mountain from one place to another, but I don't have love, I am nothing. If I gave away everything I have and allowed my body to be burned at the stake and didn't have love, it would be nothing. You see the measure that we have is love.
What does it mean? I think I'm in love, I feel that. No, here is what love is. Love is patient. Not a feeling, it's not an emotion and I hope I'll have it tomorrow and I hope I'll have it next year. Some friends, and I received a note, that have been married for, they're about as old as we are. Believers, there were part of this church for a while. They have written things defending Scripture. They are divorcing. Another fellow believer in another state wrote and said, I know you know them and I think you should know. What do you mean? Here is what love is. Love is patient. Patient. That tells you something doesn't it. This is different than what we call Hollywood style love. All of a sudden they have fallen in love with this person, it may be their third. The actress who just died had seven husbands. You're just madly in love for a time, madly in lust for a time. Love is patient. Love is kind, is not jealous. Love does not brag, is not arrogant. Does not act unbecomingly. It does not seek its own, is not provoked. I didn't underline that, I crossed that one out in my Bible. Is not provoked. I can't help it, they get on my nerves. The last part of that may be true, they get on your nerves. The first part of it is a lie, I can't help it. Because love is not provoked. So I take it if somebody wasn't provoking you, you wouldn't need not to be provoked. Love is not provoked. So when I'm provoked, it's not because of what they did, it's because I'm not functioning in love. Right? Because love doesn't get provoked. She makes me do it, she just does it. If she didn't do that ............. Wait a minute. Then it would mean the ability to show love was out of my control, that's not so. Love is not provoked.
Does not take into account a wrong, keeps no records of wrongs. Ever note what happens, and again we use marriage because that's the closest human relationship we identify with. People can list all the wrongs that have been done. Do you want to know what Marilyn has done over the last many years? I shouldn't have a record, should I? I shouldn't be keeping track. Sometimes people will write me notes, and I appreciate them, some I appreciate more than others. And critical notes given in the right spirit you appreciate. You need to learn, you need to evaluate yourself. But sometimes you get the more blistering criticism and you read those, but then I destroy them. I don't want to keep them around, I don't want to roll it over, I don't want to mull it. Because you know what you find yourself doing then? Lying awake at night, thinking what you would say to them, what you would like to do, what you would like to tell them. Sometimes I've had, and it doesn't always happen because some I remember, but people come up and say, I wrote you a letter and I just want to apologize for that letter. I'll go home and say to Marilyn, I can't for the life of me remember that letter they wrote. It must have been something. I don't usually tell the person because then they'll think I didn't care, I don't even remember that letter. But we shouldn't be keeping a record. Right? This is what happens. You sit down to do marriage counseling with people whose marriage is falling apart and they can tell you everything this person did wrong. We had a staff person leave here and I got I think 15 pages. He had kept a record of all the years he had been here of everything he thought I had done wrong. Well what do you do? Are you keeping a record like that? Keeping records of wrongs? We harbor grudges, we're waiting for the Lord to get back at them for us. And we think that's love. Love doesn't take into account a wrong suffered. Can you think of wrongs people have done to you here? Don't concentrate on it, put it out of your mind. If they come up, put it out.
Does not rejoice in unrighteousness, rejoices with the truth. Bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. Aren't you glad the love that God has for you won't fail? I'm glad God's love for me won't fail. That's enough, I've forgiven him time and again. Done. Crossed the line there. We think in our human relationships we've gone far enough. That's why Romans 13, owe no one anything but to love. That's it. Because love never fails, love is never paid up, I'm never done. It puts up with all things. We fail to appreciate maybe these difficulties come into our lives, it's the sin of another person perhaps but perhaps God has brought that into our life so that I might grow in His grace and love. Let's face it, it's easy to love people who are loving you back, it's easy to be nice to people who are so nice to you. They almost overwhelm you with their niceness, it just drives you ......... But you know when you have to bear all things. But that's what true love does. So we're talking about being in difficulties, in trials, in the hard circumstances. The difficult person at work, the difficult person you live with. Same thing, I have to show God's love. I'm the recipient of God's love, I want to imitate God. Maybe down the road they'll wonder how I could be so nice to them, how I could have said nice things about them, how I could have done things to help them do better when they were doing everything they could to make my life miserable. Maybe I'll be able to tell them the reason I do that is because I'm a nice person? No, because God showed that kind of love to me. What I've done for you is nothing compared to what He has done for me. That's the testimony we have, that's what enables us to function together as the family of God with harmony and peace, demonstrating love.
Let's pray together. Thank you, Lord, for your grace. Thank you for the love shown to us in your grace. Lord, you loved us when we were unlovely, when we were your enemies, when we were in rebellion against you. Jesus Christ you Son came to this earth, suffered and died so that we might receive forgiveness, cleansing and new life. How blessed we are now to be able to manifest your love produced in us by your Spirit in our relationship with others. Lord, in that context we can than you for difficult people, we can thank you for trying situations where we even have greater opportunity to demonstrate your love. I pray that you will use us to that end. In Christ's name, amen.