The Covenant of Marriage

Transcript

GR 709
5/9/1985
The Covenant of Marriage
Matthew 19:1-6
Gil Rugh

Matthew 19 is another controversial section in Matthew’s Gospel. It is separated by some time from Matthew 18, but as the Spirit has lead Matthew to put it together, the content is closely connected. Matthew 18 discusses the matter of church discipline, how the Church deals with a believer who persists in sin, and the issue of biblical forgiveness, how believers are to be forgiving one another. That chapter indicated that although the Church must apply discipline, if the believer quits the sinful conduct, then those in the Church must be ready to forgive him and welcome him back into the fellowship.
The issue of forgiveness is crucial as a background and foundation for Matthew 19:1-12 which deals with the issue of biblical marriage and biblical divorce. These verses break down into three basic parts: The first is God’s plan for marriage; second, the provision for divorce; and third, the place of celibacy. The area of marriage and divorce engenders much controversy and much disagreement. Jesus dealt with it very directly and very thoroughly.
In Matthew 19, there was a change of location. “When Jesus had finished these words, He departed from Galilee and came into the region of Judea beyond the Jordan” (Matt. 19:1).
Jesus left the region of Galilee in the north and proceeded down into Judea in the south. This is the region of Jerusalem, but He carried on His ministry on the eastern side of the Jordan River and kept some distance between Him and the city of Jerusalem at this time. He was moving back into the region of Jerusalem in preparation for the events which led up to His crucifixion.
Matthew’s account continues, “and large crowds followed Him, and He healed them there” (Matt. 19:2). As He made this journey, great multitudes followed Him and came out to hear Him. He carried on a great ministry with them and He healed many in the multitude.
Jesus continued to display the greatness of His power which showed that He was the Messiah, the Son of God. But it made no impact on the religious leaders. The religious leaders came out to meet Him in order to do battle with Him. They were still not impressed by the power He displayed in His healing. They came out looking for an opportunity to trap Him in an attempt to discredit Him before the people, and to do this they raised the issue of marriage and divorce.
The issue of divorce in Jesus’ time was similar to today. As soon as you start to discuss it, you feel that you are in a losing battle because no matter what your position is, there are going to be a number of people who disagree with you. That was the purpose of the religious leaders in raising the issue of divorce.
Matthew 19:3 says, “Some Pharisees came to Jesus, testing Him and asking, ‘Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all?’” They “came to Jesus, testing Him.” It is
important to keep in mind the context. They asked Him to test Him. They were not searching for information. They were not seeking help in resolving a difficult question. They simply wanted to put Him on the spot.
There were two major divisions among the Jews over the issue of divorce. The very liberal belief held that you could divorce your wife for any reason at all. For example, if she burnt the dinner, that was valid reason to divorce her. This is in the Jewish writings of the time. If she talked so loud that the neighbors heard her, you could divorce her. All kinds of silly little options were provided, so it meant that you could divorce your wife for any reason at all. This is similar to no-fault divorce today. The more conservative position on divorce was that you could only get divorced over a moral issue, such as sexual infidelity.
The Pharisees were attempting to put Christ in a dilemma. No matter which position He took, He was going to alienate those in the other position. That way He would lose credibility at least with some in Israel, and the liberal position was the more popular one as you might expect.
They asked the question “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all?” Jesus’ response is recorded beginning in Matthew 19:4,5, “And He answered and said, ‘Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh”?’” He turned it around and told them that their problem in even asking the question was that they did not understand what the Scripture taught about marriage and it was because they did not understand what God said about marriage that they were concerned about how to break a marriage. He said that if they understood what God said about marriage that would resolve their questions about divorce. Jesus explained that marriage is an institution, a relationship established by God, and it is intended by God to be permanent. If marriage was the focus of their concern, then how one could break that relationship would pale into the background. His response referred them to the beginning of the Bible.
The Pharisees were experts in the Old Testament. Of course they had read Genesis 1 and 2. But they had not read it with understanding and applied it to their lives in a meaningful way. They failed to see the impact of Genesis 1 and 2 as it related to the issue of divorce. I believe that is the major problem with the issue of divorce among evangelical Christians today. They have failed to consider what marriage is all about as God instituted and ordained it. They spend much time talking about divorce and whether it is all right for a believer to get a divorce in certain situations, when God’s emphasis is on what marriage really is to be and its permanence.
In Matthew 19:4 Jesus quoted from Genesis 1. In Matthew 19:5 Jesus quoted from Genesis 2. Jesus quoted from Genesis 1 that God created them male and female and the God who created them male and female said in Genesis 2:24 and then He quoted from Genesis 2:24. That is significant because Jesus placed His stamp of approval on Genesis 1 and 2. Many people today say that Genesis 1 and 2 are totally separate and unrelated accounts. They contend that Genesis 1 was written by one person who was giving his perspective on creation, and Genesis 2 was written by someone else who gave a totally different account of creation. That was not the way Jesus saw it.
I received a letter from a pastor that said that he chooses to believe Genesis 1 but rejects Genesis 2. He does not realize it, but he not only has a problem with Genesis 2, he has a problem with Jesus Christ in Matthew 19. If he is right, then Jesus made a terrible mistake because God did not say anything in Genesis 2, it was only somebody giving his ideas and those ideas conflicted with Genesis 1. However, Jesus said Genesis 2 would help you understand Genesis 1 and together they help you understand God’s perspective on a biblical marriage.
Genesis 1 provides an overview of God’s creating work on each of the days of creation and resting on the seventh day. In Matthew 19:4 Jesus quoted from Genesis 1:27: “God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.” The emphasis is that God created mankind. He created mankind and that involved the creation of a man and the creation of a woman. Note that the equality of the man and the woman is stressed: both were created by God in His image. They were created as personal beings, with emotion, intellect and will, to function in a personal relationship with the personal God who made them and in a personal relationship with one another.
That simple statement, according to Jesus, would help you understand God’s purposes in marriage. He created mankind with one man and one woman. Jesus said that ought to explain to you what God intends in marriage. He did not create one man and three women. He did not create five men and one woman. He created one man and one woman. God’s intention in marriage is one man with one woman permanently.
Jesus continued in Matthew 19:5 by quoting from Genesis 2:24, “For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” Genesis 2 is an in-depth explanation of what transpired in Genesis 1:27. Genesis 1 is an overview of God’s creating work over the six days of creation. Genesis 2 centers in on what is the epitome of God’s creation-mankind. Mankind is that part of His creation that was created to function in a personal relationship with Him reflecting His own image. Genesis 2 is not a different account of creation; it elaborates the details of creation.
Jesus referred to Genesis 2:24 to establish that God intends a man and a woman to have their lives invested in one another permanently and so God instituted marriage. He said that the Pharisees failed to understand this and that was why they were so concerned about divorce.
I am going to look at some of the facts that God reveals in Genesis regarding this marriage relationship because I fear that we do not understand it enough and we need to be reminded.
The first thing revealed about the man and woman is what has been previously noted. Genesis 1:27 says God created man in His own image. That is equality of persons. Both reflect the image of God; both are made in His image, the woman just as much as the man. The woman and the man alike are made to have a personal relationship with a personal God who made them.
Secondly, Genesis 1:26 says both are created to rule over God’s creation, “Then God said, ‘Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the cattle and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.’” Genesis 1:28 continues, “God blessed them; and God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth.’” The husband and the wife together are given dominion over the creation. The woman is not created as a servant or as part of the creation. She is created with man to, as a team with her husband, rule that creation.
Thirdly, they are created to populate the earth as found in Genesis 1:28, “God blessed them; and God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth.’” The fall of man does not occur until Genesis 3 so it was God’s intention in creating a man and a woman that they populate the earth. In other words, before the fall it was God’s intention that Adam and Eve would have a sexual relationship together and that Adam and Eve would produce children. What mankind has done with sex in perverting it and distorting it is a result of the entrance of sin into the world. But the sexual relationship itself in marriage was ordained and established by God at the beginning of the creation.
Fourthly, the man and the woman are to be companions for one another. In Genesis 2:18, “Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.’” This is the first time that God says “it is not good.” In Genesis 1 it is repeatedly said, as He created on the first day and on the second day and so on, that God saw His creation and that it was good. But God says it is not good for man to be alone.
Note that the subject of this study is marriage. The single life will be the topic in a future study. God’s normal pattern is the marriage relationship.
It is not good for the man to be alone. Even though the man was created to have a personal relationship with God, it was God’s intention that His needs for companionship be met by another part of the creation; so loneliness is an issue even before there is sin in the world.
God intended that the man have a companion. “I will make him a helper suitable for him.” What did God make for Adam? Couldn’t He have made him another man? If all you need is a friend, couldn’t He have made another man and they could have been friends? The man would have been somebody to talk to, somebody to toil in the garden with, someone to just be there. Wouldn’t that have helped? It would not have accomplished God’s purposes in meeting the basic needs that He created within man that could only be met by one who was made to complement him, not one made just like him.
The word “helper” is not a derogatory or demeaning term. It is the word that is used repeatedly in the Old Testament of God Himself who is our Helper. When the Bible says God is our Helper, that is not demeaning God. That means that God renders the aid, the support, the assistance we need. God says He is going to make a companion for the man, one who is a helper, one that will assist and support and aid him. This helper will be fitted or suitable for him. The woman is not created inferior. She is a helper as God is our Helper. This word is used in Deuteronomy 33:7 where it speaks of God being a Helper. He becomes involved in meeting needs and giving whatever aid and assistance and help is necessary. So God made the man a companion that will be a complement to him.
It is crucial that men and women are different because God made them to complement one another, not to be the same. God did not make another man for Adam’s companion in the garden. Today, people try to make women like men; this destroys God’s purposes. It destroys the woman; just as it ruins the man to try to make him the woman. God’s purposes are realized when each functions as God created them to complement one another-not to compete with one another. Today the strategy in the world is to make men and women compete against one another when God’s intention in the creation was to make them complement one another. Until there is an appreciation of the difference that God made between man and woman, there cannot be an appreciation of the value of the relationship. Husband and wife need to realize how important they are to one another. I cannot realize the full potential that God has for me without the ministry of my wife in my life, and that is true for my wife also.
Another point about marriage is found in Genesis 2:24, “For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” God has joined man and woman in a covenant relationship. I get asked the question, “Are all marriages made in heaven?” The answer is yes, from the standpoint that when a man and a woman are joined in marriage, that is a covenant before God Himself that joins them in a binding permanent relationship. That is why Jesus, after quoting Genesis 2:24, continued in Matthew 19:6, “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.”
I want to note a couple of facts about this covenantal relationship that God instituted. First, there is separation involved in establishing the marriage relationship, “For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother” (Gen. 2:24). That is indicative of the fact that the marriage relationship supersedes all other relationships.
The second closest relationship there is on earth is the relationship that parents have with children. But that is not a permanent relationship. They will always be my children but I am raising them to be independent. There will come a time when they will leave home and give themselves in a commitment of love to the mates that God provides. So the relationship I have with them is for a period of time. But they will leave that relationship and be joined in a permanent binding one.
In my marriage relationship, I have left my parents. I still honor them as my parents; I still respect them; and I still have responsibilities to them, but I have committed myself in a separate new binding relationship that supersedes that one.
The relationship between a husband and a wife is the most important and most responsible commitment that there is. It supersedes the relationship with children. A husband’s number one commitment is to his wife, to carry out his responsibilities to her. Full attention is to be given to one’s spouse and his needs or her needs. That helps clarify things. What happens if children come into the picture? The number one responsibility is still to one’s husband or wife.
Second, note the permanence of this relationship. Genesis 2:24 also says the man “shall cleave to his wife”. That word “to cleave” is an important word. It is a word that is used often in the context of God’s covenantal relationship with the nation Israel. Israel entered into a relationship with God based on a covenant or an agreement. Because of God’s covenantal relationship with Israel, they were to cleave or cling to or hold fast to God. It is a commitment in love to that person and it is characterized by permanence.
God spoke to Israel in Deuteronomy 10:20: “You shall fear the Lord your God; you shall serve Him and cling to Him.” That is the same word. It means a firm, unshakable commitment and bond with Him. I am to be holding on to Him in every circumstance and every situation. I belong to Him.
Deuteronomy 11:22 says, “For if you are careful to keep all this commandment which I am commanding you to do, to love the Lord your God, to walk in all His ways and hold fast to Him.” The phrase “hold fast” is the same as “cling to.” This is the Jew’s responsibility in light of the covenant that has been established between Israel and God. So the covenantal relationship established by God, in and of its very nature, demands permanence.
Third, there is a oneness or intimacy established in this relationship. Genesis 2:24 concludes, “they shall become one flesh.” This one-flesh relationship is expressed in the sexual relationship where the husband and wife become one physically, but it is to encompass the entire person. They become one as God sees them. He has joined them together as one. Since this is expressed in the sexual relationship, sex is only appropriate within the confines of marriage. Sex is an expression of the oneness that God has established between a man and a woman that bonds them together in every area of their persons and personalities.
In light of those basic facts about marriage that are covered by God in the account of creation in Genesis 1 and 2, what is all this talk about divorce? It is like trying to take a glass and break it in two without doing any damage. It is one glass, and if you break that one glass, you will have damaged the glass. That is the way God sees marriage. I am one with my wife as God sees me and as God has established our relationship. You may ask, “How can we break that relationship without doing any damage?” But that is not possible because God says so. We are two different
people that God has brought together and joined in a covenant relationship of oneness. It would be like asking, how can I cut off my arm and not affect my body? The answer is, you can’t. Your arm is part of your body. You can’t cut it off without affecting your body.
So basically Jesus said that God established marriage so man ought not to try to divide it. This is why He said to the Pharisees that their concern about divorce shows that they do not understand what God said about marriage. That is the problem today. The philosophy of the world has infected and affected Christians today. The world says if the two of you have grown apart, just say good-bye and leave. We as believers need to ask ourselves if we have really come to grips with what God says in His Word about marriage.
A number of New Testament passages develop how this new relationship of husband and wife is to be lived out. Before looking at some of them, let me just summarize for you the responsibility of the husband and wife.
Since husband and wife are not the same because God created them to be complementary, there will be different obligations and responsibilities. When I function as God intends for me and my wife functions as God intends for her, then we complement one another and I begin to reach the full potential I have as God’s child and she begins to reach the full potential that she has as God’s child. But as long as we follow the world’s philosophy to be your own person, establish your own identity, and be significant in and of yourself and what you do apart from your spouse, this will frustrate God’s plan and keep us from realizing our potential. No wonder Satan comes up with the idea of being your own person. I cannot realize the potential God has given me as His child until I commit myself to being involved with my wife and meeting her needs and developing her spiritually. I cannot reach my potential until she makes that commitment to me.
For the husband, his obligation will be to provide godly leadership for his wife, doing whatever is necessary to meet her needs and enable her to be all that God intends her to be. The husband is responsible for his wife in every way. When a man gets into a disagreement with his wife and their marriage begins to drift, he wants to complain about what she is like. But do you know what God says? He says that is a reflection on the husband. If my wife is not what she ought to be, then that is an indication of a failure on my part. I am to be investing my life in her and allowing God to work through me in making her what she ought to be.
The wife is to be submissive to her husband’s leadership and she is to invest her life in him. 1 Corinthians 11 says the man was not made for the woman but the woman for the man. She is made to be suitable for him. That idea is contrary to the world. The world emphasizes that the woman is to establish her own identity; she is to be her own person and be able to stand apart from her husband. God says she is to invest her life in her husband, adjusting to him and doing whatever is necessary to be an aid and assistance to him.
Remember my wife is not demeaning herself by being my helper any more than God is demeaning Himself by being my helper. God created her to be an aid to me, a support to me, enabling me to be all that God wants me to be and to reach the potential that God has created me to have. The world points out that you will lose your own identity. But isn’t that what happens when you have oneness? The two individual identities are merged together, and to a large extent the wife loses her identity in her husband because the Scripture says that as they are to rule the creation, the husband is over the wife. The wife loses her identity in the husband because she invests her life in being a complement to him and being everything that he needs to be the man that God wants him to be.

It is my understanding that what a man accomplishes is a testimony to the work of his wife in his life because that is what God uses to enable him to be all God wants him to be. What about the rewards for my ministry? I believe that heaven will balance that out. I may get the glory now, but that does not mean that God is confused. He knows that the reason Gil can carry on his ministry is because his wife is being the wife that He intends her to be and that enables him to be the man that He intends him to be which results in the ministry that He intended being accomplished. It cannot be done any other way than God’s way, and there is no other road to fulfillment and accomplishment apart from that.

The world’s philosophy is going just the opposite direction, but that doesn’t surprise me. But what burdens me is that we as believers are turning around and saying, maybe the world is right. God is always right. His Word is always right. This is God’s plan for man and woman to reach their potential; and you don’t have to be very smart to figure out what you can do to frustrate that: just drive a wedge between the man and the woman. Turn them against one another. Start them off in their own directions. Give them a burden to establish their own separate identities, and then you have succeeded in frustrating God’s plan. It may seem that there are people who are fulfilled doing their own thing. But there is nobody who has the fulfillment that God can give who is doing it his or her own way. The true realization of fulfillment is that which eternity will reveal, not just measuring fulfillment as the world looks at it.
I want to look at a couple of passages in the New Testament. I am just going to touch on some facts in each of these passages. I would encourage you to take some time to delve into the Scripture, to read these passages, to study them, and to examine your own life in light of them. 1 Corinthians 7:3-4, “The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.” God says that my body is to be used to meet my wife’s needs, and my wife’s body is to be used to meet my needs.
This part of 1 Corinthians 7 will be looked at in more detail in connection with the single life, but note 1 Corinthians 7:33, “but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife.” And at the end of 1 Corinthians 7:34, “but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband.” The focal point of my life is how to please my wife.
As I’m working through the day and I’m getting ready to come home I’m thinking, I hope Marilyn has the dinner on the table and I hope it’s a dinner I like and I hope that she understands I had a hard day and I hope she ’s got the house in order and things are going to be quiet so I can relax. That would not be thinking about how I can please her. She’s thinking, I hope Gil comes home understanding that the kids were home sick and I haven’t had anything but confusion all day and the dinner didn’t turn out and the washer broke down and he better come home ready to give me some help. She’s not concerned about how she might please me. You know what would make a difference? If instead I would through the day think about what would really please Marilyn and be concerned about how I can invest my life in her to be pleasing to her tonight; and if through the day she is thinking about what she can do to be pleasing to Gil when he comes home tonight. That takes care of the conflict, doesn’t it? The conflict comes when I’m thinking about me and she’s thinking about she and we come together but we are in two different worlds. A lot of the conflict is taken care of if I am really occupied with how I can please her and she is concerned about how to please me. That is to be the focal point of our lives.

From Ephesians 5:18 I want to pick up one idea, “Do not get drunk with wine, but be filled with the Spirit.” In the original this is one continuous sentence running all the way down to the thoughts of Ephesians 5:22: “Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” Being filled with the Spirit manifests itself in a wife being submissive to her husband and a husband providing godly, Christ-like leadership for his wife. This is not natural to my fallen human flesh. I cannot do it. And so if I am not going to be submitting my life to the Spirit and allowing God to have His way with me, I will not be the husband that my wife needs in the fullest possible way. Nor will my wife be the wife who can meet my needs to the fullest possible extent if she is not submissive to the Spirit.
Wives are to be subject to their husbands. Husbands are to provide godly leadership for their wives. This ought to be the pattern. A person ought to be able to look at me and my relationship with my wife and see the way Christ deals with His church. A person ought to be able to look at my wife and see how the church is responsive and submissive to Jesus Christ. It is too often the case that the picture provided by marriage is distorted and shattered.
The control of the Spirit of God in a life is what makes this all work. That is why only true believers can have the kind of marriage that gives you all the fullness of the satisfaction in the relationship that God created you to have. This pattern is repeated and it is consistent in several other passages: Wives are to be submissive to their husbands; and husbands are to provide godly leadership for their wives.
Colossians 3:18, “Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.” It is fitting before God that the wife is subject to her husband. The philosophy of the world is contrary to that, but the world is not concerned about functioning in a way that is honoring to God. But a believer must be.
Colossians 3:19, “Husbands, love your wives and do not be embittered against them.” That verse uses the term agape love which means I am to be giving myself for my wife. This is developed in detail in Ephesians 5:22-27. Just as Christ gave Himself for the church, which was necessary to make the church everything that it ought to be before God, so I am to give myself, whatever it takes, to enable my wife to be everything that God wants her to be.
The last part of Colossians 3:19 interests me and I spent some time on it, “do not be embittered against them.” This is in the context of God talking about loving my wife. He warns me not to become bitter against her. I have noticed a pattern of bitterness setting in when a man develops conflicts with his wife. This word “bitter” means to be relentless, harsh, spiteful, mean, and vindictive. When a husband turns on his wife, his attitude towards her becomes one of meanness and vindictiveness. Relentless is a good word for the pressure he begins to put on to demonstrate his meanness. This is a warning: if you do not love her in the power of the Spirit, watch out, bitterness will set in and you will become critical, looking for ways to get at her and tear her down instead of building her up.
One other passage is in 1 Peter 3. It starts out the same way directing wives to be submissive to their husbands, but it answers an important question: what if my husband is a turkey, a loser? Note what 1 Peter 3:1-2 says, “In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the Word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.” This applies even where you have an ungodly husband or a husband that is not biblical or does not love you like he should. Even if your husband does not believe the Word of God, your responsibility does not change. Isn’t it nice how God simplifies things? It does not matter what kind of husband you have. A wife is to function biblically as a godly wife submissive to her husband by looking for ways to meet his needs to enable him to reach his potential as a man. This is so that through your godly character and conduct, God might draw him to salvation. I get the idea maybe the woman has the harder job because there are 6 verses in 1 Peter 3 regarding how she can do this. There is one verse given to the man. That does not mean that the man’s responsibility is less important, it is just simply more easily laid out.
The instruction to the man is found in 1 Peter 3:7, “You husbands likewise, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman, and grant her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.” The men are instructed to live with their wives in an understanding way; there is nothing worse than a stupid husband. And the man is to understand that she is a weaker vessel. Some men think they are married to an iron skillet. The husband is to know about his wife, to understand her, and to appreciate her weaknesses and her frailty, so that he can care for her properly. That is how the husband is to live with her in an understanding way.
I am responsible to know my wife. Men often complain, “My wife just doesn’t understand me. She doesn’t know what would meet my needs.” What does 1 Peter 3:7 say? “You husbands likewise, live with your wives in an understanding way.” If you are living with your wife as you should in a biblical way and treating her properly as a weaker vessel, then you will find out she does meet your needs. The responsibility is for the men.
When it says, “with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman,” that is not a putdown. It does not mean she is inferior. We do not place more value on a cast-iron skillet than we do on a fine vase, but the vase is weaker. If you have some fine china, you are very careful with it. But skillets can be handled with less care. “Oh, I dropped the skillet, too bad.” Just drop one of my wife’s dishes and see what she says. As a woman, your wife is created to complement you. She is also created to be sheltered by your protection and your love and care. If you treat her like she’s just one of the guys and you wonder what the problem is, then the problem is that you have not been treating her like a weaker vessel.
She is not inferior, in fact, 1 Peter 3:7 goes on to say, “grant her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life.” She is a weaker vessel created to complement me, to be sheltered and protected by me, but she is not inferior to me. She is a fellow heir of the grace of life.
The end of 1 Peter 3: 7 says that as a husband, I better do this so that my prayers will not be hindered. This affects my spiritual life. If I am not being the husband I ought to be, my relationship with God will not be what it ought to be. Some men are not the kind of husbands they ought to be because they do not have the kind of relationship with God that they ought to have. Think about what happens. If you start having problems with your wife, soon your prayer life goes by the board, and if your prayer life goes by the board, pretty soon you do not have any time or interest to be in the Word of God.
My responsibility is to thank God for the woman that God has provided for me to be all that He wants me to be and to invest my life in her in such a way that God will allow her to realize her potential. In that way she can be used by God to enable me to realize my potential so that I can walk as a man of God with an effective prayer life which is honoring Him.
Jesus said the issue is not divorce; the issue is marriage. Before you can talk about divorce, you have to understand what marriage is all about. God’s intention for marriage, from creation, is that a man and a woman be joined together in a permanent bond of oneness established by Him so that they might invest their lives in one another in such a way that will enable each of them to realize the potential that God has given them. Sometimes there is a break in that relationship which will be the topic of the next study.