God’s Word on Our Families

Transcript

GRM 1222
05/12/ 2019
God's Word on Our Families
Selected Verses
Gil Rugh


For those of you who are here regularly at Indian Hills, we have been studying the book of Ecclesiastes for our regular Sunday morning study. It is a book on wisdom, and wisdom for living life in this difficult world, a world that has been impacted greatly because of sin. Something of the beauty and wonder of the world is evident, in spite of sin, but pain and difficulty and heartache have come into the world because of sin. And the Bible and the book of Ecclesiastes where we are focusing is talking about living in the world with wisdom. We might say being skillful at living in the world. We talk and honor people who have developed skills in an area; they are really skillful at this or that and they do it so well. Well, God wants us to do very well in living in this world as His people, to be skillful in maneuvering through all that comes to us in this world.

Let’s look at a couple of verses, starting with the book of Proverbs. If you have been here, these are familiar to you as I have mentioned to people. Proverbs 1, verse 7, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.” Only a fool would refuse to learn from the living God who created all things. The fear of the Lord, that's the beginning. The fear of the Lord is the recognition that you are a sinner, separated from God, guilty before Him. But He is a God who brings salvation. And as the Bible unfolds, He sent His Son Jesus Christ to this earth to suffer and die to pay the penalty for our sin. We fear the consequences of our sin, which is an eternal hell. We fear His wrath that will be poured out on those who do not believe in the Savior He has provided. And now we live our lives in fear, in the sense of honoring Him, respecting Him, obeying Him. And coming into that relationship with God we are His child, living under His authority, open to His instruction. That's the beginning of wisdom, becoming skillful in living a life that sometimes can be difficult, sometimes can be unpleasant, sometimes can be very happy and joyful. But in it all you have the sovereign God directing and guiding.

Look over in Proverbs 2:6, “For the Lord gives wisdom…” now note this, “…from His mouth comes knowledge and understanding.” We learn of the wisdom of God from the Word of God, what He has spoken. Jesus said in Matthew 4:4, quoting from the book of Deuteronomy, “‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but on every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God.’” We live by His words, that's where we get wisdom. God has spoken, what He has said has been recorded and preserved for us. So, to live skillfully in this world, have the wisdom to navigate all that comes up day by day, the good and the bad, we need to have a knowledge of what God has said.

Come over to Proverbs 9:10, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom…” You see God repeats it here. “Fools despise wisdom,” those who have not come to fear the Lord and enter a relationship with Him. How foolish would it be to reject God, who created us, who sovereignly rules and controls over all, but we refuse to listen to Him. We close our ears, we refuse to acknowledge Him. “…And the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.” That's where we get wisdom, from the Word of God.

What I want to talk to you about today is what God has said regarding our families. We're not going into Ecclesiastes, but the wisdom from God regarding our life. We talk about Mother's Day and yet we live in a day and time like no other in the history of man where really being a mother has been devalued, not honored. Oh, we set aside a day, but to be respected in the world—all you are is a mother? The family is being dismantled and undermined by fools, those who have rejected the wisdom of God, who do not fear Him, who will not listen to what He says.

So, we come to God's Word to find out what He says about us, about a man, a husband, the father; a woman, a wife, a mother; children. We come to the Word of God to find out about life, what has the Creator created us to be and to do? And we go from there. You buy a new piece of equipment or computer or something and you read the instructions, and you try to work it out. We want to be careful, this was made for this. What did you buy that for? Well, for this. And now we have the instructions to find out what it was made for and how it is used properly, safely, skillfully. That's where we come with the Word of God.

We'll start back in Genesis 1. If you don't believe Genesis 1, God says you are a fool. I don't mean to be unkind, but we just read that the beginning of wisdom is the fear of the Lord. And that involves listening to what He says. We are to live by every word that comes out of the mouth of God. The Bible tells us all Scripture, the whole of the Bible, has been breathed out by God and is profitable for us, for every area of our lives. It makes us aware of the salvation that God has provided, makes us aware how our sins can be forgiven, tells us about the Savior who came to this earth to love us and die for us, gives us instruction on why God created us, how He created us for what purpose. And now how we are to live so that we might experience all that He intends.

Genesis 1 gives an overview of God's work of creating the world, the universes day by day. And after He has moved through five days of creation He comes to the sixth day. And in Genesis 1:26 we read, “Then God said, ‘Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; and let them rule over…’” the rest of creation; if I can summarize it. You can read it there in the verse, the animals and everything else He has created. Now man will be the epitome of God's creation. All the rest of creation will be subjected to the authority and oversight of man, and he will be made in the likeness of God, and as such will be God's representative in representing God and ruling over the creation that God has made. He said let Us make man in Our image, according to our likeness, and let them rule. So, man was created in the image of God.

Furthermore, verse 27, “God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.” Now here we get distinction. He uses the word man which in Hebrew is the word Adam; it's a name. It will be a name given to the first male created, Adam, which simply means man. But man created by God in His image will consist of being male and female He created. And just a reminder, that I remind those of you who are here regularly often, this is where we get the generic use of man to encompass both male and female. Some people want to make the Bible gender neutral, but we get the original foundation for speaking of man as a term that includes male and female from God. Let's make man in our image. So, He made them male and female. And that's why the Bible talks about man, sometimes it is being a reference to both men and women, sometimes it refers to the man as male. That is used in that sense because man includes male and female. But man is male, establishes an order in the relationship God has created.

You'll note also He said in verse 28, “And God blessed them; and God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it…’” Some instructions here. Children, that's what it means, be fruitful and multiply, and rule over the rest of creation. I have authority there. This is the epitome of God's creation. He intends them to reproduce after their kind. So be fruitful and multiply. I don't know whether it is good, but I got a theological quarterly this week and he had an article on the opening chapters of Genesis and their importance. It is a very good article. I don't know whether I should say this, but he said what verse 28 really says is have authority over the creation and have lots of sex, because He said be fruitful and multiply. But sex is not bad. But there is an article, I just checked the news this morning and the concern about the prevalence of sex and the improper promotion of it. And that's in a secular new article. But here at the beginning, it is not dirty, it's not wrong, it's not bad, it's God's plan. So, in God's plan we are going to have a man, a woman and children. We talk about that as a traditional family or the nuclear family. And almost we attempt to dismantle it today, which is really fools rejecting what God has said.

The details are unfolded down in Genesis 2. It just said He made man as male and female and they were to have children, be fruitful and multiply. In chapter 2 He gives details of the creation of man as male and female, because that is what is most important in the creation. That's the only part of creation that is in His image, the animals are not. Important to keep the distinction. In our society we elevate the animals, and I think I heard that we spend now more on the care of our pets than we do on our children. And we have organizations that promote, elevating animals to the level of humans. And if you mistreat an animal, that's terrible.

The Bible does say you should treat your animals with respect and care, doesn't promote abuse of animals. But, we murder unborn babies with abortion. In fact, this article was talking about that, that I mentioned I was reading in the quarterly. He said up to 2018 in the United States, there have been 61 million abortions and worldwide they passed the 3 billion mark. And while we are concerned about the animals, we think nothing of murdering the children. The world becomes foolish in their foolish rejection of the living God.

We come to Genesis 2, God wants a man to cultivate the ground, to oversee it, to rule over it. How did He create man? In two parts, male first. Verse 7, “Then the Lord God formed man of the dust from the ground…” Many of you have been here for our studies in Ecclesiastes, where we've been reminded that man is made of the dust and he is going to return to the dust. He's coming to that in Genesis here in a moment. He formed man from the dust. He just took the dust and He created a man. “…and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being.” And then He puts him into the Garden to cultivate the Garden.

Verse 15, jumping down, “Then the Lord God took the man and put him into the garden of Eden to cultivate it and keep it.” And we've noted God created man to be busy, not a perpetual do-nothing. But before sin entered the picture, man's work would not have been toilsome, laborsome, difficult, painful, unpleasant. But he was created to take care of this beautiful garden. He gives him instructions. In verse 18, “Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make a helper suitable for him.’” And we are reminded in all the animal world there is no helper corresponding to the man, there is a line drawn. The man is in the image of God, none of the animal world is in the image of God. The whole doctrine of evolution is a direct rejection of the Word of God, an attack on the Word of God. God said, I know we have our animals, we enjoy our pets, but they are not corresponding to us, they cannot fit what God intends.

“It is not good for man to be alone...” So, after verse 19 it says in all the other creation there was not found one corresponding. The end of verse 20, “but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him.” And you'll note you have in the margin, that word suitable, corresponding to him. “So the Lord caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man” Adam, and He is going to complete him now in that sense. He “…took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh at that place.” He took one of his side parts out of Adam, first surgery here, didn't directly create the woman out of the dust. He created the man out of the dust, God is the Creator in both situations. But man was created out of dust.

The woman is directly created by God, but not out of dust, out of the man, a pre-existing human in the image of God. Pre-existing man as male, out of that He will create a female, a woman. “And the Lord God fashioned,” built, “…into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man.” God built the woman out of that side part of the man. We say that would be a miracle. Of course, but the greater miracle was He built the man out of the dust. The old dirt bag! That's not in here. He creates this woman, He built her. Now we talk about beauty. I take it man was, Adam was, probably quite striking as a man, male. And when God built a woman and brought her to the man I'm sure Adam said I've never seen anything like it. If I didn't think things get any better, but this is as good as it can get. What did the man say? He recognizes right away, this is one like me, that corresponds to me. “‘This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh.’” You see, she started as a part of him, now she is going to be joined with him so the two become one, which is how God really created them. Out of one man, Adam, God created a corresponding partner, a woman. And our word woman plays off man and you'll note in the margin of your Bible, the Hebrew word for man ish, and you have isha, and you have the woman, connecting the two.

“‘This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.’” That order is important, it will come up again and again in the New Testament with the passing of thousands of years. This becomes the established foundation for everything. When Jesus during His earthly life was asked a question about marriage and divorce and so on, do you know what He said? In Matthew 19:4, “‘Have you not read, that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female.’” That established forever God's creation intent of a man and a woman, and they would be joined together in marriage.

So, you come to Genesis 2, verse 24, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” And that physical union represents the union that was basic at the creation. They started out as one, then God separated them, and the woman coming out of the man, she was created corresponding to him. She was created for him. The order of creation is important. This will be the foundation for certain things all the way until we get to the New Testament, thousands of years later. The order of creation—the man as male was created first, then the woman, female was created. That established a hierarchy, an order. So, we have man ruling over all the rest of creation, but you have man as male and female and then the rest of creation under them. That's God's order, that's God's relationship.

All this discussion about marriage and you can have two women married and two men married is a declaration of fools. That's what God says. They have rejected the Word of the Lord. What kind of wisdom do they have? The beginning of wisdom is the fear of the Lord. When you fear Him, you live by His Word. If you reject His Word, you don't fear Him. You set yourself up as an alternative authority, declaring God said this but I overrule. We live in a country where governing authorities have overruled God, so to speak. Fools rule. We want to be careful with that, we respect them because God says He has appointed governing authorities. He has established rulership and authority at all levels, Romans 13. But we understand there are certain things we cannot submit to.

I acknowledge the world around me will live one way. My concern is the pressures of the world push in and pretty soon believers begin to adjust. You know science, you can't believe science and the opening chapters of Genesis. So, men that early in their ministries I respected, somewhere along the line lost their way. And well, Genesis, that's creation literature, you don't have to take it literally. One man who early in my ministry, many of us were listening to his tapes, and was a professor in an evangelical seminary, was fairly good. Somewhere along the line, he began to drift. And some of the things I have read, I believe in a literal Adam but if science demonstrates that he wasn't literal, that doesn't bother me, I can accept that too. Wait a minute, you become a fool? Well, we redefine how you interpret it. That's another way of saying we don't like what it says, so we will make it say what we want it to say. Science? Science hasn't done anything.

I have an article I've shared with those of you who are here at Indian Hills more regularly, written by a professor. I clipped this out of a paper where I was in Colorado a couple years ago, the editorial page, and he talked about need for people, I don't want to use the political terms he does, they can't change reality. And he goes through all this, men and women, and all the trying to change what reality is. And we say science has demonstrated the opening chapter of Genesis is . . . Because science has “proved evolution.” It has only proved evolution to those who reject God's Word. But he talks about the issue of being male and female, a man and a woman. He says you can settle that, the XXXY sex determination system is found in humans. Females have two of the same kind of chromosome, XX, whereas males have two distinct sex chromosomes, XY. This chromosome reality is seen as limiting, annoying, and an artifact of a patriarchal, chauvinistic society. So, people just reject it. Suddenly science doesn't count, it's not science, it's not even what physically is so obvious. There is a difference between a man and a woman, all that just superficial. It's not superficial, there is something different in them. We are both in the image of God, but we were created to be different. The woman was created to be corresponding to the man, but not same to the man.

God could have taken another pile of dirt and created another man and we would have had two males. And they could have been friends, then worked together, cultivating the garden. But God intended there to be a difference and yet a correspondence that enabled them to be one and to produce children. Be fruitful and multiply. It's simple, it's not that this is so complicated. If you haven't had some detailed instruction, we read it, anybody who reads it knows what it says. It's just a matter of do we believe it or not?

He goes on in this article, some humorous stuff, but just gets into all kinds of areas. There are racial distinctions, this particular professor is black, so he's not writing from a white supremacist viewpoint. He says if one were to list the top 30 violinists of the 20th century, at least 20 of them would be Jewish, of Jewish ancestry. Jews constitute no more than 3% of the U.S. population but 35% of American Nobel prize winners. He's talking about there are differences in the races, and there are. And he goes on to talk about different races that excel in different ways and different areas. God has created diversity.

We are destroying the foundation that God has created. When people reject the Word of God, then they destroy what God has said. So now if you say sex outside of marriage is wrong, you are a hater, you are not inclusive, you can't be part of our party. Wait a minute I thought you were the inclusive party. We are. I want to be included. But you hold a different opinion. Well, isn't that what inclusive is? Well, we include people who just hold our opinion. Oh, so I'm a hater because I have a different opinion than you, but you are inclusive even though your opinion excludes me. Now there is no sense in trying to rationally debate this, I understand. It has a spiritual foundation, it's a rejection of what God has said and done, not for any other reason.

This is the foundation for everything else. Here we are 2000 years after Christ, thousands of years beyond that when God created, that has not changed. In fact, we are the first society, I believe, in the existence of mankind on a major level who has ceased to recognize the differences that everyone else has recognized. Even the Romans, we think of them as epitomizing depravity, recognized and honored marriage. They did a lot of things that were outside marriage, but they still honored marriage and recognized it between a man and a woman.

We are trying to destroy the very foundations, to obliterate any recognition. And if you disagree, you are a hater. We say sex outside of marriage is wrong. I'm not heterophobic because I think sex between a man and a woman outside of marriage is sinful. I'm not homophobic, I don't have any irrational fears. I just have a different opinion. I believe the Word of God is right and everyone and everything else is wrong. That's not an irrational fear, that's just truth. But we get pushed off. And all these who were so included, all we want to do is be accepted. But now all we want is anyone who won't agree with us to be rejected. That's always the case. Once you reject God and His truth, you reject all of those who fear God and support His truth. Now it happens believers feel the pressure to become conformed to the world and we don't want the world to say you are haters. So maybe we can make an adjustment, maybe we can give in—Gender Neutral Bibles, I think, move that direction. Why do we have to make a Gender Neutral Bible? The way God gave it is pretty clear. Well, people don't accept that anymore. Well, God didn't ask them to rewrite His Bible. Now I realize that I may at times want to clarify there is not a just man on the earth who always does good and never sins. But that does not mean there are women who are just and never sin. Obviously, man there is used like in the beginning, let's make man in our image, male and female. So, I understand that usage. But I want to be careful. Every time God uses man in a generic sense He is reminding us of Genesis 1 and 2—God created man as male and female.

Let's look at a couple of passages, come over to Leviticus, just how God impressed this upon His people Israel and He will reimpress it upon His people the church in the New Testament. Leviticus 12, verse 1, “Then the Lord spoke to Moses, saying,” so this is not Moses' words, Moses will maybe record it, this is God's Word. “… ‘When a woman gives birth and bears a male child, then she shall be unclean for seven days…’” Verse 4, “‘Then she shall remain in the blood of her purification for thirty-three days…’” These are matters of ceremonial uncleanness and so on. Look at verse 5, “‘But if she bears a female, she shall be unclean for two weeks…’” Well it was only 7 days for the male, it's 14 days for the female. “‘…and she shall remain in the blood of her purification for sixty-six days.’” It was only 33 days for the male. Now without going into any further reasons for our purpose right now, God makes a distinction—I want it to be clear from birth, everybody realizes there is a difference between a male and a female. They don't have to wait until this child is old enough to determine what they decide to be. God has already determined, He created this way from creation. And so, from birth there is a recognition, there is a male and there is a female. It's not that complicated.

In Leviticus 27 there is a valuation given for ages and when you get to my age they are barely even included as a separate group. But in Leviticus 27 you can read through it, let me just tell you. If you are between 20 and 60 years of age, that would be somewhat prime of life, 20 to 60. A male is valued at 50 shekels, a female at 30 shekels. And that is different for every age. Once you get over 60, the male is only valued at 15 shekels, the female at 10. When you get over 70, I guess it's probably 1½ shekels. What is he doing? It's important that Israel recognize . . . I mean, you know where the devil is going, we're going to dismantle this whole plan of God, we're going to undermine His creative work. He created them in His own image, male and female. We'll say they are in the image of animals and there is no distinction between male and female. So, we just descended from apes and before the apes and on back to those days of the explosion or whatever, and all life just came from that. And we have people who have made adjustments, who claim to be Bible-believing Christians, who say they believe in theistic evolution. Just insert God somewhere in the process but certainly not in Genesis.

We begin to erode because the Bible says, do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the making new of your mind. We are sinners, we are under God's condemnation. It's by His grace when we recognize our sin and guilt and recognize He has provided a Savior. We turn from our sin and place our faith in Him. We are made new, and our minds are made new. We are to think differently, we are to think biblically. We now have wisdom from God because the beginning of wisdom is the fear of the Lord. Remember Jesus said do not fear those who kill the body but after that can do nothing to the soul. You better fear him who after he has killed the body can destroy both body and soul in hell. There is a true fear of the living God that He would cast me into an eternal hell and a recognition of I need the salvation in Him. It begins a life of bowing before Him, fearing Him, honoring Him, obeying Him. So, we get the Word of God.

Come over to the New Testament, the book of Ephesians. Just highlighting some things. In the book of Ephesians, Paul is talking about the salvation that God provided for us in Christ. In Ephesians 2 he says, “And you were dead in your trespasses and sins,” and you lived your life under the direction and control of the devil, in rebellion against God, if I summarize these passages. And the end of verse 3, “…were by nature children of wrath.” God is angry, God is going to pour out His wrath on those who are His enemies, which we all were. “But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our transgressions,” our sins, “made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved),” jump down to verse 8, “For by grace you have been saved through faith,” and this is not a salvation that we originate, “and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, that no one should boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” How we live now. Well, we've been born again, we've been made new. Now we live. That's a picture of a walk, our day by day, step by step pattern of life. We now live as God would have us live.

Come over to Ephesians 4. On the basis of what Christ has done, I beseech you, “to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called.” Down in verse 17, middle of the verse, “walk no longer as the Gentiles,” these unbelievers walk, “in the futility of their mind, being darkened in their understanding, excluded from the life of God,” they are filled with ignorance because of their hard heart. They are calloused, so they give themselves over to sensuality, every kind of impurity with greed. This is a description of the world in which we live. We need to be careful that we as God's people don't allow ourselves to be reshaped to fit the pattern of the world. Be not conformed to this world, be transformed. That's what he is instructing us.

Come over to Ephesians 5:15, “Be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise…” How do we function as wise men? And there is a use of that word that naturally would include all of us as believers—male and female. And we walk as wise men, those God created in His image, male and female. What does it mean to be wise? The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. We are to live by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God, we desire to take in the truth from Him.

Then he gives instruction, we are to be filled with the Spirit, His Spirit who now dwells in us. What is the instruction? “Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.” There is an order that was established. 1 Timothy 2 talks about it, other passages as well. 1 Corinthians 11, where the order, God created man as male first, then created the woman. That means the man was created to be the leader of the woman. That's part of the creation order, that has not changed. For believers, wives submit to their husbands as to the Lord. We have women who think they are godly and don't have to submit to their biblical husbands. Obviously if your husband tells you to go out and embezzle some money or steal something at the store, you don't go contrary to the Word of God. Women just decide they don't agree with the decision. They are not godly women, they are living as fools. They reject the Word of God in the area they don't like, then it becomes a question, have they really come to fear the Lord. They don't fear Him. What does God say? You submit to your husband as the church submits to Christ. Am I in a position to tell Christ that I understand but I have a different opinion. Well, we're the church. It doesn't matter what my opinion is. What does, is what Christ says.

Now that means the husband gets to be in charge and do what he wants. No, read on, so the husbands aren't fools. “Husbands, love your wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” Wives, the pattern for you is the church relationship with Christ; husbands, the pattern for you is what Christ did for the church. You don't get any higher examples than these. Is there any excuse for us not obeying it? Now, we have to obey God rather than men. The husband tells his wife to be immoral, she has to say I love you, I would love to obey you, I cannot do that, God says no. And it goes on. The instruction is clear, we just don't like it. But we say we fear the Lord, I want to be wise, I'm memorizing Scripture. Well, what does that have to do with it? Memorize Scripture and not obey it doesn't do much. To hear that Jesus Christ died for your sins and not respond in obedience by believing, it won't save you. This is where the church begins to weaken, get weakened, and our disobedience begins to spread.

“Husbands love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” Verse 28, after the example of Christ, “So husbands ought also to love their wives as their own bodies.” Well, that's what we are, right? The woman was made out of the man and then in marriage they are joined back together again. So, you love her as yourself, take care of her. And where does he quote to support this? Verse 31, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” We read that in Genesis 2, nothing changed. And I tell you, the 2000 years since the Spirit of God directed Paul to write this in Ephesians, nothing has changed. Now that the Scripture is under assault, but we are not done.

The family, because remember they were to be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth. Look at Ephesians 6:1, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), so that it may be well . . .” Goes back quoting again to the Old Testament Law, we're going back 1500 years, which was basing it upon creation. Thousands of years before that. This is God's creating pattern, His creating will. That does not change. The world changes because it lives in rebellion against God, they have no anchor. It's just whatever we think, whatever you want to be, whatever you want to do. And quickly, you see how quickly this has taken over, it's like a tie to the world.

I turned on TV the other day, and they have an advertisement of two men with their two little girls that are their children. They are advertising a secular product, but just showing how loving this family can be and what a good alternative this is. No matter how it appears, what people talk about, well it seems to be a loving relationship. They've rejected the Word of the Lord. What kind of wisdom do they have? It's not true love, it's selfish pursuit. It's what I want, it's my desire. They're consumed with this. We better be careful. The Word of God stands. Not here to try to get the world to conform to us, we're in this in Romans, we are to be careful that we don't get conformed to the world. That's what we'll get in Romans 12:2, “Do not be conformed to this world…” But we're not trying to get the world to live differently because only the Lord can change the heart out of which all these things flow. So “Children, obey your parents…for this is right.” This is God's will. And then slaves to their masters, and masters to treat their slaves right.

Come back to Proverbs. I want to read a few verses where we just left off here on children. Come to Proverbs 13. Proverbs is a book of wisdom, and here is how to be skillful in living your life. It's a verse you come to often, we should, and often we are encouraged. Read one of these Proverbs chapters every day and you get through the book of Proverbs in a month. Just helps to continue to impress us. This is given as part of wisdom literature, how to be skillful in the various situations of life. Raising kids. Proverbs 13 opens with verse 1, “A wise son accepts his father's discipline, but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke.” Come down to verse 24, “He who withholds his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him diligently.” We don't go to the world to find out how to raise children. Now the world continues to slide away. My parents, when I was young were not believers, but there were still certain biblical truths that permeated society and so my dad firmly believed he should show his love to me regularly in verse 24. I didn't always agree but I came to appreciate it. It's discipline, discipline. The ultimate responsibility in the home falls to the man, and we ought to be disciplinarians in our home. That doesn't mean that's the only kind of discipline.

I was reading an article, and there is no excuse for physical discipline of any kind. Those who would hit their kids and slap them around and shove them . . . Wait a minute, I agree, there are certain kinds of abuse, but properly applied spankings are not physical abuse. They are necessary correction. And you don't have to just use your hand, here he uses a rod. My dad used a belt. In our family I used a ping pong paddle. Pick your choice. Fathers, if your kids are out of control, shame on you. Your wife ought to be able to take them to the store and they don't throw a fit. Do you know why? If she doesn't do the physical discipline, “I'll tell your dad when he gets home.” That was enough to put the fear of the Lord, even though my family didn't know it, in me. “Go to your room until your dad gets home.” Sitting there, counting. The car pulls up, the door closes. Oh no, I hear the steps. The door opens, judgment has come. “Dad, you haven't heard my side. You don't have a side, your mother is always right, even when she is wrong.” I've shared that. Do you know what I learned? I didn't get away with anything by trying to work around my mother. Fathers, you take control of your home. That's what he says, otherwise you are a fool and you don't really love your child, you just don't want to be bothered.

There are ways we have to be careful. The world says you are guilty of child abuse. I realize the world wants to intervene itself. I had a professor from the University of Nebraska, an article I put in my file, he uses spare the rod, spoil the child. And he says that's from the book of Proverbs. Nobody believes that anymore and there is never any excuse for that kind of discipline in a home. Well, at least he is clear—I reject what God has said. The problem is our kids go to schools, they are taught this, they grow up in it and we begin to think, I don't want people to think I abuse my children. And the pressure is on. Are we going to conform to the world or are we going to do what the Bible says? We have to be careful, be wise, but be careful.

Proverbs 19:18, “Discipline your son while there is hope, and do not desire his death.” You don't want to just leave your kids to themselves. We say, I pray for them. Well, your prayers don't get above the ceiling if you are not willing to listen to God's Word. God, I'm not going to do what you say but I hope you will work it out. It's like somebody who says, I'm not going to do it your way, but I hope I can go to heaven. That's not true.

Proverbs 22:15, “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of discipline will remove it far from him.” It's bound up, do you know why? “In sin did my mother conceive me.” When Adam sinned, and Eve sinned, they would have children and would pass on this innate rebellion, that would characterize all their descendants down to us. It's there in a child. You know, it's amazing how quickly a child can learn, even when they are in diapers and you swat the diaper. They probably don't feel much, but they know they are being rebuked. Sometimes they will cry. You know they didn't feel anything, but they know that what they do is unacceptable. I'm having fun now watching a great grandchild. Just cute how they are, and you have to bite your tongue because sometimes you don't want to laugh. But they'll do something and then they watch because they know they are not supposed to. And then they will start, then when they see dad take a couple of steps, all of a sudden it goes back down. They know, they test the bounds early and if we don't take control early, I'm going to wait until he is 25. They won't care what you say anyway. Now there are no guarantees, they are sinners like you are, like I was. But we're going to provide the discipline for an orderly life.

Proverbs 23:13, “Do not hold back discipline from the child, although you strike him with the rod, he will not die. You shall strike him with the rod and rescue his soul (from death) from Sheol.” This we do. This is instruction to fathers for their sons, it is true for the whole family. So, you go through the book of Proverbs, here is God's wisdom for raising children. I can't tell you when we were raising our kids, they got their sin nature from their mother, their stubbornness. How many times I was in Proverbs, sitting in my room, saying, Lord, you say do not hold back discipline from the child, although you strike him with the rod he will not die. You know, they are wearing me down.

We had a rule, we might be in the car, you don't stop the car. You are in a store, you just say, “That's two.” That would mean their behavior there, merits two with the ping pong paddle when we get home. If they did something else or added to it, “That's three.” By the time you get to four, they were learning how to control themselves. Then you get home and they are all nice and obedient, “Can I do this, do you want me to do this for you?” “No, first we are going to the room.” “I know, I will never do that again.” “No, we're going to the room. I hope you won't do it again because if you do it again we'll be back here again.” We have to be consistent.

One more, Proverbs 29:15, “The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother.” Brings shame to his mother…sometimes in the store you see a little kid and he is sitting there, he is crying, he is screaming, saying no to his mother. Do you know what I think? What kind of father does this kid have that he could get away with that. And the mother should just leave the grocery cart where it is, pick him up and say we are going home. And they have to be taken care of. That's a reflection. All our society says you don't do this. I'm old so I can talk about when I was a kid. Remember the good ol' days? In our school they spanked, the teachers, and I remember. I've shared this, they used those thick yardsticks they used to have. I was raised outside of Pittsburgh—Pittsburgh Pirates, Ralph Keiner the home run champ. My teachers thought that's who they were. You were doing something that disrupted the class, “Come up front, bend over and grab your ankles.” When you get home, try it. If you are my age, don't, you won't get up. But it puts your hiney up in the air in front of the whole class. And then that's the strike zone. Whap, whap. It broke. She picked up the two pieces and gave them to Robert and said, “Take that to the principal and get me a new yardstick.” He comes back with a new yardstick and she says, “Now bend over, we will pick up where we were.”

You say, that's terrible to humiliate a child like that. Yes, do you know what? That was 65, 70 years ago and I didn't forget. I don't want to be up there being humiliated, I don't want the pain of getting hit with that. Of course, I never did, I was a good student. Now in our classroom, California now wants to pass a law you are not allowed to remove unruly children from your classroom. You can't discipline anymore, you can't even take them out of the class. Too bad if you have 2 unruly students and 18 students who would like to learn, everything stops while these 2 take control of everything. Nowadays if a teacher has a student coming in the early grade school, who turns over the tables, pulls the books off the shelf, everybody has to stand there and just watch, the principal and everyone, until he is done. And then they will try to take him and settle him down.

We didn't have any school shootings, we didn't have anybody going crazy. We had black students in my class, we had poor white students, me. We were in government housing, we had better. My friend whose dad was a dentist lived in a little better situation. But we all were afraid not to do the right thing. And then the worst thing would be if they called home on the party line after I got spanked, because I had to do it all over again because my dad had the same view. “Doesn't matter what you did, you obey the teachers. Now come on in, you are going to get it here, too.”

All that is the wisdom of God and the foolishness of the world. Starts with our family—the husband's relationship to his wife, the wife's relationship to her husband, the husband and wife in agreement. The best thing my dad ever said is, “You don't have a side.” Why? Because he and my mother were together. Now they may have talked about it afterwards, but you can't play it off. I never wanted that with our kids. They could say, “Mom did this.” “Doesn't matter, I agree with Mom.” “You don't even know what she said.” “And you better stop what you are saying, or you are going to wish you didn't say it.” The wisdom of God for our family. It's not complicated.

Read Proverbs, evaluate ourselves, start with Genesis, the opening chapters, then go read through Proverbs. Then we go on. We have to remind ourselves because the world is constantly saying, that's not the way it is, that's not the way it is, that's not the best thing, that's not the best thing. And authority so-and-so, professor so-and-so, doctor so-and-so. Doesn't matter, we come and say this is what God says. We believe it and we obey it.

Let's pray together. Thank You, Lord, for Your Word. It's a simple Word, it's a clear Word, it is an eternal Word. How gracious You are. You have brought salvation to lost and sinful people, each one of us under condemnation, worthy of an eternity in hell. But in grace You provided a Savior that now as Your children we can learn from You, we can learn the skills of living life as You created us to live. Even in a fallen world we can live with wisdom, with skill when we live obediently. May that be true of each one. We pray in Christ's name, amen.