A Wife’s Relationship to Her Husband

Transcript

GR 990
11/16/1997
A Wife’s Relationship to Her Husband
Colossians 3:18 & Selected Verses.
Gil Rugh

We are in the book of Colossians in your Bibles, the third chapter. And we begin this morning a 20-week mini-series on the most important verse in all the Bible. Colossians 3:18, “Wives be subject to your husbands.” No, not even I would try to do something so foolish. Why is this such a delicate area today? Why is there so much tension around the whole subject of the role of men and women? It is very simple, and it is not new. Fallen man has always been in rebellion against the plan of God for His creation. And when God created man and God created woman, He created them to fulfill certain roles and responsibilities. He created them uniquely to complement each other, to be different, and to fulfill His purposes in their differences. That being God’s purpose and plan in creation. Because of sin we are in rebellion against God’s will and plan, and so we want to oppose what God has done. And so God created us differently to be different. We reject that and want to emphasize sameness, and do away with any differences.

He created the man to lead and the woman to follow. We want to reject that. The man is to provide love and protection and provision for his wife. We want to reject that. And on it goes. So it ought not to surprise us that when we come to an area like this, we are in strong opposition to the world. Remember the gate is wide and the road is broad that leads to destruction and there are many on it. It is a narrow gate and a narrow road that leads to life and there are few on it. So we ought not to be concerned with being out of step with the world around us. And that is very clear in this day. We ought to also note this is not a new problem. It is dealt with in the Old Testament and the New Testament alike.

Some of you wonder why I am always preaching on this subject. It does come up quite a bit. Not with extensive portions, but we see it in books like Corinthians and the letters to Timothy, the letter to Ephesians, the letter to the Colossians. Peter writes of it in his letter. It just comes up for attention which is a reminder that there were issues related to this in New Testament times and before as well. The context of Colossians 3 for this subject is very important. He is talking about the conduct of believers, God’s people--how we are to manifest the character of our redeeming God in our behavior, in living our lives according to His will. Key in this section has been verse 16. “Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you.” God’s word so dwells within us that it permeates and pervades our lives. And thus controls and dominates us and shapes us into what we are and what we do. And in this context we manifest His work in our lives, and He has talked about some of the evidence of His character. In verse 12 He talked about putting on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience. Because we are the Holy and Beloved of God, we manifest His character, His love.

Now another area of manifesting His work in our lives is in the area of our role responsibility. In Christ there is neither male nor female and so on, Galatians 3:28 tells us. There is a spiritual equality that characterizes us. That does not nullify or do away with the role responsibilities that God has designated for us in this world. So He is going to talk about some of these responsibilities in different areas.

Beginning with verse 18 He talks about wives; verse 19, husbands; verse 20, children; verse 21, fathers; verse 22, slaves; and chapter 4 verse 1, masters. As the people of God who are manifesting the character of God and living our lives conformed to His will, how are we to function? And he gives specific guidelines following the general instructions he has given for all of us. He begins the specific instructions in verse 18, “Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you.” It will be manifest as we are teaching and admonishing one another, as we are singing with thankfulness in our hearts. It will demonstrate itself as we function in our various relationships the way God would have us function. Back up to Ephesians chapter 5. We are going to be spending the time in other passages, as you might expect.

Ephesians chapter 5 verse 18, the command to be filled with the spirit at the end of the verse which we looked at in connection with our previous studies in Colossians. And when you are being filled with the spirit under control of the spirit, that is saying the same thing as letting the word of Christ richly dwell within you. When the word of Christ richly dwells within you, it permeates your life and controls and shapes you. To be filled with the spirit is to have the spirit controlling and directing your life. And the result of being filled with the spirit is the same as those of having the word of Christ richly dwell within you. Verse 19, “speaking to one another in songs and hymns.” Spiritual songs, singing. Verse 20, “always giving thanks for all things.” Verse 21, “and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ.” Literally it is “being subject to each other in the fear of Christ.” Wives to your own husbands, and on he goes with the various responsibilities. So what Paul is concerned about, as well as the other Biblical writers, is the conduct primarily of God’s people. We will come back to Ephesians 5 later, but come back to Colossians 3.

You note this instruction to the wives is “wives be subject to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord.” And this emphasis on our relationship to the Lord is key in this section. The end of verse 20 when he instructs children, he will talk about it being pleasing to the Lord. Slaves, he’ll say at the end of verse 22, function fearing the Lord. Here wives are submissive to their husbands as is fitting in the Lord. What He is saying is “this is what is proper and right for one who is in the Lord.” One who has come into that Bible-living relationship with Him. This is proper for those who are in the Lord. For a godly woman, she will be a submissive wife. This is what is proper and fitting in the Lord. This will be one of the manifestations for the wife--the word of Christ richly dwelling within her, that she is filled with the Spirit of God. She will be functioning properly in the Lord in relationship to her husband. Which means she will be in a relationship of submissiveness to him. This matter of submissiveness. Let me say some things, and then it will come up as we move through some scripture passages. We are not talking about inferiority. We have seen in our study of Colossians up to this point, the work that God has done for us in Christ spiritually. And we have a spiritual equality and oneness in Christ. That does not nullify or change the fact that there is an order that is recognized in scripture. An order that recognizes the work of God in creation, the will of God in the relationships that are carried out in this creation. So we find it consistent in the Old Testament and the New Testament that in the role relationships of a man and a woman, and particularly the husband/wife where we are focusing our study now, is the wife is submissive to the husband. That is a responsibility and a role that will go back to creation.

Let’s go back to Genesis 2 and just remind ourselves of God’s plan in creation. Chapter 1 you have the overview of creation, the six days of creation in which God made all things. The pinnacle of His creation was the creation of humanity, mankind in verse 27. “God created man in His own image. In the image of God, He created him. Male and female He created them.” So you have mankind, male and female manifesting the image of God, His personal and moral character impressed upon them as created in His image. Then in chapter 2 you have an expansion and fuller explanation of the creation of male and female. You just had a summary overview in chapter 1. Now you have the details of the creation of the man and the woman. And we see they are created uniquely and differently. And this expresses the intention of God from creation for man and for woman.

So verse 7 “the Lord God formed man” chapter 2 of Genesis verse 7, “The Lord God formed man of dust from the ground, breathed into his nostrils the breath of life and man became a living being.” God directly created man from dirt, places him in a garden that He created where man could occupy himself with the keeping of the garden. Verse 18, “The Lord God said it is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Singleness is not the general intention of God. Now there are provisions made for the single life. I Corinthians 7 speaks of that. But we ought to understand marriage is the general intention of God for His creation. It is not good for the man to be alone. I am going to make a helper suitable for him. First God brings all the animals that are created before Adam, and Adam names the animals. The end of verse 20 says, “but for Adam, there was not a helper suitable for him.” Now, God knew this. So it was good for Adam to know this. All these creatures serve a purpose, but none of them is one that would be a complement to Adam. God put Adam to sleep, took a rib from his side, and from that rib, God fashioned a woman, verse 22. And He brought her to the man. And the man said “this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman because she is taken out of man.” And you note here, even in the creation, God created them differently. God could have taken the dust and shaped the woman as He had taken the dust and shaped the man. But from the very beginning God is indicating a connection and a bond that would be there, even expressed in the way that He created them. “For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, shall cleave to his wife and they shall become one flesh.”

Jesus referred to this in the Gospel of Matthew regarding the permanence of marriage. He said you go back to creation and find out that God created a male and a female. He brought them together to be one. Don’t try to overrule God. Marriage is His establishment, His intention. Now in all these things we see that the world is going a totally different direction. God says His intention is marriage. So what do we have? We have people all over now, what? They want to live together and not get married. And they don’t see marriage as permanent. Now we see bills coming up. You can have a marriage or you can have a permanent marriage. And do you want to sign up for just marriage or permanent marriage? How would you like to go get married to someone, but the person you want to marry says, “I don’t want to sign up for a permanent one”? You see we make marriage almost meaningless. Man is constantly opposing God, wanting to reject God’s will and God’s plan.

Now this whole matter of the order of creation, the manner of creation becomes important. That establishes an order in relationship. Understanding this helps us deal with arguments. People are always saying “well, certain things in the Bible are cultural.” Well, there’s no argument about that. The Bible was written at a different time and a different place and a different world in a culture that is foreign to us. That doesn’t change the meaning of what is being said. The order of creation, the manner of creation established the priority of man as the leader. Woman was made second. She was made for the man. The man was not made for the woman.

So that sounds chauvinistic to some people, but it is simply biblical. You know, I appreciate the fact that worldly feminists understand that they have to reject the Bible, that the Bible is contrary to what they want to accomplish. I can understand that. At least they manifest the recognition that the Bible is saying something that they are refusing to accept. I do not understand people who want to call themselves biblical feminists, who want to try to make the Bible say what they want it to say. And I scratch my head and say, “What have we come to when the one who does not even profess to be a believer understands more clearly what the Bible says than someone who professes to be a believer? The Bible says what it says.

And then we come into chapter 3 and the fall occurs. First three chapters of Genesis are the big issue. That’s why there are all kind of battles always raging about Creation. It has nothing to do with science. It has to do with man adamantly rejecting God so that he doesn’t have to submit to His authority because it is developed in the prophets (and we don’t have time to go there). God declares that because He has created all things, He is sovereign over them. He is the creator. He is the sovereign ruler. Man cannot accept the account of creation in Genesis because he would have to acknowledge a God who is sovereign, because He has brought us into existence. Would I acknowledge a God who is sovereign because He has created me? Then I would have to acknowledge His authority over my life. That is unacceptable.

Come to the New Testament. Let’s see. Come over to I Corinthians chapter 11 verse 3. “But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of the woman, and God is the head of Christ.” Here you have the order established again or repeated. And again it indicates that there is no inferiority involved in the order that is being established. Christ is the head of every man, the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ. Christ functions in the role of submissiveness to God the Father even though personally and morally He is not inferior to the Father, because He is completely and fully God. So submissiveness does not involve inferiority.

Keep your finger in 1 Corinthians 11, and turn over to chapter 15 of 1 Corinthians. I Corinthians 15. We’ll find out that through all eternity Jesus Christ will function in submissiveness to the Father. 1 Corinthians 15:28, “And when all things, (we are at the end of the Millennial Kingdom, moving into eternity), when all things are subjected to Him, then the Son Himself also will be subjected to the One who subjected all things to Him, that God may be all in all.” The Son Himself, willingly, places Himself in submissiveness to the Father, subjection to the Father. Incidentally that word lucotosin in 1 Corinthians 15:28 is the same word translated submissiveness in Colossians 3:18. “Wives, be submissive.” We need to be careful that we don’t chafe against modeling the character and conduct of our Savior. God calls the wives to be submissive. It doesn’t mean they are spiritual inferiors. The world wants to say if you are not the same, you are not equal. So everything in our society is driven to what? Make men and women the same, not equal, the same. And they don’t believe there is any equality if there is not sameness. So women ought to be able to do everything that a man does. Women ought to be just like men. If we could only get away from women having to have babies, we may be able to get the job done. And we get carried to the ridiculous. Well at least we as believers ought to understand there is no inferiority in submissiveness. We are submissive to the governing rulers. That does not mean we are inferior personally or morally to them. But there is an order that is respected.

Alright back in 1 Corinthians 11. Just want to note a couple of things here. There are many things to discuss in 1 Corinthians 11, but I just want to pick up a few points that relate to the role of the man and the woman. Look at verse 8. “For a man does not originate from woman, but woman from man.” That’s what we saw in Genesis 2. He did not create the man out of the woman, He created the woman out of the man. The order and manner become important. Indeed, man was not created for the woman’s sake, but the woman for the man’s sake. Now I hope you have verse 9 marked so that if you go away upset with me, you are not upset with me and go out and say you know what that preacher said. He said the woman was created for the man’s sake not the man for the woman. I didn’t say it. God said it. Quite frankly if it were me I wouldn’t have put it that way. I am a coward. But it is still true. It is what God said. And we go back to Genesis 2 and what? God creates Adam and He says it is not good for Adam to be alone. I will create a helper suitable for him. The woman was made for the man. That establishes a priority in the order of things. Now that does not mean the man is independent of the woman. And it goes on to talk about the interdependence between a man and a woman. But that does not nullify the difference there is either.

First Timothy chapter 2. We are not talking about husbands and wives in I Timothy 2. Tonight we will talk a little more broadly about these roles and these responsibilities. But you see the same pattern. In reality God’s will for His creation and for the relationships of men and women have basically the same role and responsibility, if we can use that broadly. Obviously there are differences. But there is a sameness in that the man is the leader and the woman is to be submissive. That is true in the home with the husband and wife. That’s true in the church. That’s true in governing authorities as well. Isaiah wrote that because of Israel’s sin, His judgment would be to give them women to rule over them.

Look at I Timothy chapter 2. First Timothy chapter 2. And you note verse 9. And I have had some people ask me if I would not elaborate on this. I am not going to elaborate today. But you will note that this is the same subject that I Timothy 2:9 is going to come up with when we go to I Peter chapter 3 in a few minutes. “I want the women to adorn themselves properly with proper clothing, modestly and discretely, not with braided hair, gold, pearls or costly garments.” We will talk about that more when we get to I Peter 3 in a moment. “But rather by means of good works as befits women making a claim to godliness.” So you see it is the character of life that primarily is the adornment of a godly woman. And what does that involve? “Let a woman quietly receive instruction with entire submissiveness. I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet.” Again there’s all kinds of gymnastics we go through to try to explain this passage away. Well, there were special, unique problems at Ephesus and this situation to that situation. The women at Ephesus were uneducated. And the person who espouses this says that the real problem with Eve was she wasn’t educated like Adam was because he was created first and God told Adam some things. So Adam was educated and Eve wasn’t. And the women at Ephesus weren’t educated either. But in our day women are educated so in our day these things don’t have to do with us directly. I mean this kind of twisting of the Scripture doesn’t qualify as true hermeneutics, even though the man who holds that has written a book on hermeneutics.

Why is a woman to function this way and a man to function the way he should? Number one, verse 13, Adam was created first and then Eve. The order of creation. It’s not cultural. We go back thousands of years before Paul writes this to what God did when He created them. This is important because it indicates that a woman’s role in being submissive to a man, and particularly as we are talking about a wife submissive to her husband, is not a result of the fall. If the fall had never occurred and sin had never entered the human race, Adam would have been the leader, Eve would have been the follower, the submissive one. That’s established in the order of creation, along with others things we don’t have time to go into back in Genesis 2. We need to be careful and say “well it’s a result of the fall, that’s why.” No, it is not. It is a result of the way God created it. He established an order from the time of creation. So order isn’t sinful.

Secondly, the facts of the fall. “It was not Adam who was deceived, but the woman being quite deceived, fell into transgression.” The two things here go beyond culture without going into any of the other details. The matter relating to creation, the matter relating to the fall into sin. Well that carries it out of a limited cultural setting back to Genesis chapter 2 and chapter 3. The woman’s realm is in the home and the children, verse 15 set forth. Go to Ephesians chapter 5. We mentioned the command to be filled with the Spirit in verse 18. We are talking about people who are under control of the Spirit of God, thus functioning according to the will of God. They are being subject to one another in the fear of Christ.

Another verse, boy this is run all over the place with, and some people who are good expositors of Scripture have some strange views. This verse is helped to teach mutual submission. And no matter where you are reading a passage on wives being submissive, commentators will qualify it with and put this in the context of the mutual submissiveness required in Ephesians 5:21. I want to tell you again, Ephesians 5:21 does not require mutual submissiveness. Ephesians 5:21 says when you are under the control of the Spirit, one of the manifestations that the Spirit is controlling you is being submissive to one another in the fear of Christ. We say, well does that mean that we are mutually submissive? No. Because all you have to do then is read the next statement. “Wives to your own husbands.” The verb 'to be subject' is not repeated in the Greek text. We have repeated it in English just to make it read smoother. It is being submissive to one another in the fear of Christ. Wives to your own husbands. Chapter 6 verse 1, “Children obey your parents.” We try to turn this around. He doesn’t say, “Husbands be submissive to your wives.” He’ll say “husbands love your wives.” We turn around and say that is a form of submissiveness because you are serving them. That is a form of hermeneutical gymnastics that doesn’t do justice to Scripture. Doesn’t imply that parents ought to be submissive to their children like children are submissive to their parents. He could have said that, but that is not what He said. We are trying to soften the edge that is felt by an unbelieving world.

We are trying to adjust the church to conform to the world as much as we can. The submissiveness to one another is unfolding. I have a responsibility to my wife, and it is a high and holy responsibility to manifest the love of Christ in my love to her. You try to turn that around, you would have to say “well then Christ is to be submissive to the Church, to love the Church. The Church is submissive to Christ because Christ is to love the Church. He has loved the church, and we are to love our wives like Christ loved the Church. And loving my wife means being submissive to my wife so Christ loving the church means He is submissive to the Church, and we have come to the ridiculous. So I am the head of Christ like Christ is the head of me in I Corinthians 11:3 and I say nothing makes any sense anymore. Context always determines meaning, and all the other passages that refer to the submissiveness to the wife or the woman are clear. And the immediate context of Ephesians 5 is clear. He specifies the areas of submissiveness He is talking about. But He balances it with responsibilities on the part of those who are not called to be submissive.

So my wife is to be submissive to me. You note, the command is not “husbands see that your wives obey you. That is not the instruction given in Colossians, that is not the instruction given in Ephesians, not the instructions given anywhere. That my role as a man or a husband is to see that my wife tows the line and knows who is boss. And I want her to be godly so I am going to help her be submissive. No, not any more than the other responsibilities are carried out that way. This is a responsibility the wife has to understand that she is responsible to carry out. She is to be submissive. While you are in Ephesians 5, “wives be subject to your own husbands as to the Lord,” verse 23, “for the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church.” Now again, the husband is the head of the wife and Christ is the head of the church. And the wife is the head of the husband as the church is the head of Christ. You just can’t turn these things around like that. Verse 24, “but as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.” The sphere of the wife’s role is lived in submissiveness to her husband. That’s her realm. She lives in a realm of submissiveness to her husband. Oh, we need to qualify that. Well, if it needs to be qualified with Scripture, fine. Well, don’t you think God should have qualified it through Paul? It’s not my problem. It’s the Spirit of God who wrote wives be subject to your husbands in everything. That’s her sphere of responsibility. Now are there passages that may qualify this? There may be. A woman is going to enter into marriage, she ought to do it understanding I will be responsible to be submissive to this man. And I better assume I am going to have to be submissive to him as he is, not as I hope he is going to be when I am done with him because he may not change. A woman enters into what can be a very difficult role. Understand I am marrying this man. I am saying if I am going to be a godly woman, I am going to be submissive to him. That’s the realm in which I will live. Husbands have their responsibility. We will talk about this in our next study.

First Peter chapter 3. And again, the context is similar to Colossians. He is talking about godly behavior, how the people of God are to conduct themselves. Chapter 2 verse 12. “Keep your behavior excellent among the gentiles.” Verse 13 of I Peter 2. “Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every human institution.” That includes human government. So there ought to be proper respect and honor accorded to governing officials, not because of their high character or good morals, but because of the position they occupy. Verse 18 of chapter 2 he talked about servants be submissive to your masters. Then he gives the example of Christ who was submissive even when He was being harshly and unjustly and unfairly abused. Chapter 3 opens up, “In the same way you wives be submissive to your own husbands.” You are arranged under the authority of your husband. And this includes unbelieving husbands. You know the question always comes. You know I can see a woman being submissive to a godly, loving, believing husband. But what about a vile, wretched sinner who is in rebellion against God. That becomes an issue in the sexual relationship in I Corinthians 7 also. The two become one flesh. Are you going to be joined as a pure and holy, chaste child of God with a vile, sinful, unregenerate mate? First Corinthians 7 says yes, if that’s your marriage partner.

So here. The wives are to be submissive to those who are disobedient to the word, rebellious unbelievers? Yes. “That they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives.” And we noted when we study this, this doesn’t mean a husband can be saved without hearing the gospel. It means the prime influence and impact of a believing wife on an unbelieving husband is not the sermons she preaches. It is the life she lives and her willing submissiveness. We talk about in biblical times it was more of a patriarchal society. You've got to understand, women chaffed under that as well. They were sinners. The men were sinners. The leadership wasn’t godly. The women didn’t like the role assigned to them either. They had to enforce submissiveness. But for a man to have a wife who delighted in being submissive to him, in pleasing him, in doing his wishes, that made an impact. “As they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.” Godly life. Reverence for the husband. Fearful. The end of Ephesians 5 says the same thing, a fearful and respectful behavior. Your adornment is not external. We saw this in I Timothy. Remember I said remember this. We will see it in I Peter 3. “Not external adornment, braiding the hair, wearing gold jewelry, putting on clothes.” Now again some people pull out some of these passages and say, oh there, see women shouldn’t fix up their hair. They shouldn’t wear jewelry. Why don’t you ever preach on that. Well, because I don’t want to tell them not to wear clothes. And it says, “not braiding the hair, not wearing jewelry, putting on dresses [the word for clothes.]” I have shared with you at one time we were part of a group that believed on the basis of verses like this that women ought not to wear any jewelry, any make-up and their hair should only be turned up in a bun. But you know they really thought you ought to put on extra clothes. And the clothes ought to be more complete, not less complete. So we don’t want to try to use Scripture to get out own idea. The point is it is not the physical thing that is the true adornment of a godly woman. Her concentration doesn’t mean she doesn’t take care of the external. And that may be part of where she is pleasing her husband. He likes her to wear these earrings, so she wears those earrings because it pleases her husband. But the real adornment is the hidden person of the heart.

That’s what we are talking about in Colossians 3, right? Old man, new man. I have been made new within. Now if that new man is not seen in the physical realm, but the manifestation of His presence is the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit which is precious in the sight of God. You know what happens? The society rejects the role assigned to a woman and to a man where the man is to be a provider and a protector for his wife and his family, and the woman is thrust into the man’s role and realm. And then the pressure is on her to become like a man. So we really think we have done something. We have done away with the diversity. Now we have women who are like men. Why is that the accomplishing of something? But with that comes what? Well, you don’t want to be a quiet, submissive person. You have to assert yourself. You have to speak up. And on we go. And what? What is precious in the sight of God is not precious in the sight of the world. We have to decide who we want to please. Submissiveness coupled with not grumbling, complaining, chaffing, but a gentle and quiet spirit is precious in the sight of God. That’s what He sees as desirable and honorable in a woman, a godly woman--His character.

These are not just qualities that are seen only in a woman. There are passages we could go to that would show them as qualities that are to be seen in men. Jesus Christ Himself was gentle as we have seen. But here in the context of submissiveness, this is the quality that is to characterize a godly woman. A quiet, gentle spirit in her submissiveness. Not something the world honors, do they? What, are you a doormat? A housewife? Stay at home, don’t use your mind? What are you going to do if your husband leaves you? What are you going to do if he dies? I don’t know how the world does it. I think if every day Marilyn were to live her life expecting me to drop dead or want to go to lunch with me? Well, are you going to live that long? And so a woman goes into marriage, she ought to go in expecting the guy is going to kick at any time. It's just a way to do what we want to do. Therefore, you have to be ready, what? To replace him. Ah, come on. You might be ready to replace him but in a different way. I don’t want to know from Marilyn who my replacement may be.

Now is this cultural? I read these commentators and they say, well, you understand these passages are reflecting the culture of the time. And in that culture women were expected to be submissive so the Bible was written to reflect that. If the Bible was being rewritten in our day, it would reflect our culture and that wouldn’t be so. Read verse 5. “For in this way, in former times, the holy women also, who hoped in God.” Holy women who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands.

What he is saying is that this is the way godly women have always conducted themselves. And then he gives an example, Sarah. Do you realize Sarah lived 2000 years before Peter wrote this, just like we live 2000 years after it? Peter was removed just as far in time from Sarah as we are from Peter. We are 2000 years after Peter. He was 2000 years after Sarah. You don’t find Peter saying “You know godly women in Old Testament times functioned this way, but times are different now. We function this way.” No. God’s expectation and plan for a woman, particularly we are talking about a godly woman, was the same. They would function with submissiveness, with a quiet and gentle spirit which would mark them off from the world.

And we think “well if we do it and the world doesn’t admire us, it is not worth doing.” We do it because God finds it precious. It is pleasing to Him. I should be amazed that the world has rejected Him, that scoffs at Him, that rejects what He says should not honor or admire us as we honor Him? Didn’t Jesus say, “if they hated me, they will hate you. If they reject My word, they will reject your word.” They reject God and His holiness and His character and His will. Well then will they accept His holiness and His character as His will is manifest in me and in you? No. So praise God for the privilege of being out of step, because if you are not out of step with the world, you are not in step with God.

“Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling Him Lord.” If you called our house and Marilyn answered the phone and you said ?is Gil there’ and she said “just a minute, I’ll get my Lord.’” You say “blasphemy.” And you heard her call, “Lord, pick up the phone, dear. Or should I bring it to you with a cold drink?” “I am joking. Are you listening, Marilyn, where are you?” Only one time in Scripture (and I don’t know where I’ve got it written down here, someplace in Genesis) did Sarah call Abraham “Lord.” But the Spirit says that was the pattern and quality of her life. It’s not the terminology, but the expression of it indicates an attitude that she acknowledged him as her Lord. She obeyed Abraham. I mention this because I was impressed. At first this ought to make sense. Colossians 3 verse 18, it says “wives be submissive to your husbands.” It tells the children and slaves to obey. Different word. Some commentators say, you see the role of a wife is different. She doesn’t obey her husband. She’s willingly submissive. I said well that’s a good point. I’ll maybe make that. Then you start looking at Scripture and you find out Sarah obeyed Abraham. And that was an evidence of her submissiveness. We want to be careful we don’t try to draw lines that are cute, but they are just not biblical. Because true submissiveness manifests itself in obedience. Would it make sense to say, “Oh, yes, I am submissive to Jesus Christ my Lord, I just don’t obey Him”? Explain to me what submissiveness is, would you? There may be a time when the wife is not submissive to her husband, but submissiveness generally involves obedience.

So “Sarah obeyed Abraham calling him Lord. And you have become her children.” In other words, you are in the line of godly Sarah who is an example of the godly women of history if you do what is right. Excuse the expression, sometimes that I picked up from a statement of Bob Jones, the old Bob Jones. “Do right. Do right.” Do right is to be biblical. You are in the line of Sarah, the godly woman of the Old Testament if you do right without being frightened by any fear. That took care of all the questions that come. Well, what’s going to happen to a woman if . . . What about in this situation if . . . Trust the Lord. Can you trust the Lord? I mean here are women, unbelieving husbands. They are in a difficult spot. And you are telling me to be gentle and quiet and submissive to him. You know if he thinks he can take an inch, he’ll take a mile. Don’t be afraid. Do right. You can trust the Lord. Don’t be afraid to do what the Lord wants you to do. Don’t be afraid to be holy and godly. Now that doesn’t mean that your life will get easier. It may get more difficult because he may take advantage of you. But that doesn’t mean we are not to be a holy and godly people manifesting the character of God. Some people will think, oh you can take advantage of them. They are Christians. So don’t be afraid. Do what is right without being frightened by any fear. And you know nothing’s changed. We are dealing with sinful people, people who are in rebellion against God and flaunt that rebellion and use the grace and mercy of God as an occasion to what, become more sinful, more licentious. They turn the grace of God into licentiousness. But we don’t have to be afraid to do right and be godly. Indian Hills is sometimes thought of as being anti-women. I think we are pro-women. I think the best thing that can happen to a woman is that she experiences the saving grace of God in her life, then she has her life conformed to the beauty of the character of the One who has saved her. And it is a life lived in accord with His will. That is the most fulfilling, most satisfying, most effective life that can be lived for a woman as well as for a man. So are we anti-women? No. I am pro-women. The creator says I made you for this. In this you find the fulfillment of your life as a created being. We fight against it. We rebel against it. We reject it. No, I won’t be happy. I won’t be happy. Look around you at the happy people in the world. We ought not to be duped or diluted. True joy, true peace, true satisfaction, true inner peace and joy is found in submissive obedience to our God and His will. And for a wife, it is found in true, godly submissiveness to her husband. What a privilege we have in this day of open flaunting of rebellion in this area against God and His Word to display before the world true godliness. In one sense the more open and clear the rebellion of this world gets, the more clear and bright should be the light of a believer’s testimony as we stand out in stark contrast to a world who has rejected the love and mercy and kindness and grace of God through salvation.

If you are here, a woman, you are a wife, you say “I don’t know that I can do this.” Number one, you have to find out, have I experienced God’s salvation in my life? You are right. You can’t do it in your own strength. This has to come from the power of the Spirit who indwells a believer. You have to be filled with the Spirit. That’s His power, His enablement, His control. Don’t close up yet. You have to have the word of Christ richly dwelling within you, pervading your life, controlling you and shaping you. You can’t do it on your own. It’s not natural as a fallen being. But it is something God provides in the salvation He gives. And you can find that provision in Christ and in Christ alone. Let’s pray together.

Thank You Lord for who You are. Thank You for Your work in creation. Lord, that creation has been marred and scarred by sin. Lord, thank you for Your mercy and grace, that in salvation we are recreated in Christ to be new creatures, that we can function as you intended Your creation to function, in submissive obedience to You, to experience the fullness of life that only you can provide. Thank you Lord for the godly women and wives in this church. For the testimony of their lives, for the testimony they are in these days in the world of godliness and holiness. For the submissiveness that is evident in the homes as wives are submissive to their husbands. Lord, I pray this will not be a discouraging role, but it will be an encouraging one. That we will testify before the world of the greatness of our God. And when we do right, we need not have any fear that you are the one who is our sufficiency, our strength, our protection. The one who will keep us as we move toward glory. We give you the praise. In Christ name, Amen.

Community Church in Lincoln, Nebraska.)