Choosing Our Friends Wisely

Transcript

Proverbs 13:20 Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise,  …            

Proverbs 12:26 NKJV “The righteous should choose his friends carefully,              
For the way of the wicked leads them astray.”  

There are several ways that God brings us together as friends:
—we bond with those whose lives intersect ours.
—we bond based on our common interests.
— we bond with those with whom we entrust our hearts. (This is where we’re going today.)

DEFINITION: By friend, we mean someone to whom we choose to entrust our hearts. These are the kind of friends we choose to let into our hearts and lives to the degree that they can significantly influence us.

FRIENDSHIP PITFALLS

Sinful Desire—
• Friends that share the same propensity to a particular sin, can distract us, lead us astray. (Prov 12:26)
• Sometimes it is wise to steer clear of those who share the same sins that you have, at least for a time.
• Be honest with yourself and God about your sin, and find a wise friend who can hold you accountable.

Selfish Ambition—
• Proverbs 25:6-7
• The world says, “for my good, I need to mingle and make friends with the higher-ups…I need to schmooze.”
• The Word says,
Proverbs 18:12 …humility goes before honor.

Flattery—
• the world says, “….The best types of friends will be there to help you put a positive spin on any situation.”
• the Word says,
Proverbs 20:19 …Therefore do not associate with one who flatters with his lips. (NKJV)

• Wise women will not build up friends with untruths—flattery.
• Wise women don’t desire friends who flatter us into believing our sins, no matter how small, are OK.

Friends Can Be Idols—
Proverbs 29:25 The fear of man lays a snare…
• Friendships, where we value someone ahead of Christ, is idolatry.
• Matthew 10:37 “He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; and he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me.”
• Beware: If Christ is not our anchor in life, then we are most often going to look for security in our relationships.
• Our hearts can trick us in to believing an unhealthy relationship is something we have to have.

Wealth Brings Fair-weather Friends—
Proverbs 19:4, 6
“A wealthy woman who fears the Lord… is able to acknowledge human nature while still loving those who seek her friendship, no matter their motives.” Brownback

TWO UNWISE FRIENDSHIP CHOICES

1. The angry (Prov 22:24-25)

A wise woman does not want to learn the foolish ways of the angry—discontentment in everything and everyone—including God.
A wise woman holds everything about her life loosely (her possessions, her expectations, her desires) and trusts that if things do not happen the way she had hoped, then a wise and loving God is in control and He knows best.

2. The Self-Indulgent (Prov 23:20-21)

It is not wise to associate with those who overindulge in life’s earthly pleasures, yet Jesus spent time with sinners.
Wisdom looks at the big picture of Scripture before determining how to apply it.
“..a wise woman will consider the fact that people are free to enjoy all God has given in creation, but she will balance that by also considering what Scripture says about the consequences of overindulgence.” Brownback

HOW TO CHOOSE OUR FRIENDS?

Proverbs 27:17 Iron sharpens iron…
• Does this relationship, overall, bring us closer to the Lord?
• Does the relationship sharpen you for the Lord?
- Do they encourage you to be more like Christ?
- Do they encourage you to fulfill God’s purpose in your life: the best wife, mom, etc?
- Do they encourage you in the Word?

Proverbs 17:17: A friend loves at all times..
• We need to choose someone who is steadfast.
• There is a friend who is born to help you through adversity, they stay by you.

Proverbs 27:6: Faithful are the wounds of a friend…
• A friend will tell you the truth and won't give you hypocritical kisses.
• A wise woman isn’t afraid to befriend those who speak up about sin.

Proverbs 27:9 … a man’s counsel is sweet to his friend.

BEING A TRUE FRIEND

AGAIN Proverbs 17:17
• Love as a friend loves—at all times.
• Don’t get off the ship in the hard times, stay—be steadfast.

Proverbs 25:17 Let your foot be seldom in your neighbor’s house…
• Don’t overstay your friend’s invitation.
• Don’t talk excessively on the phone—be sensitive to the other person’s time.
• Put the other person, your friend, ahead of you.

Proverbs 26:17 Whoever meddles in a quarrel not his own…
• It takes time and prayer, and the Spirit’s leading to seek the wisest way to confront another person’s sin.

AGAIN Proverbs 27:6
• Be faithful and honest, saying hard things if necessary, always in love.

THE ULTIMATE FRIEND

• Jesus is the ultimate friend and the only one who will NEVER let us down.
AGAIN Proverbs 17:17
• We are no longer just servants, but Jesus calls us friends. John 15:15-17

Are you His friend?
Choosing Friends Wisely February 2, 2016
Lois Morten

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