The Influence of a Wife And Mother

Transcript

GRM 901
05/09/2004
The Influence of a Wife and Mother
Prov.31:10-31
Gil Rugh

This Mother’s Day I want to direct your attention to the book of Proverbs. I want to talk about the role of the wife and the mother. When God created all things, He created all things good, and He created the relationship of the man and the woman and that was good. He created the woman to be the wife and the mother and that was very good. I think we need to be sure that we keep our focus as God has established things. We live in a day when the role of the woman is greatly talked about, but I fear it has been greatly twisted, misunderstood. We’ve come to the place where we think that we elevate the woman to the highest place when we make her as much like the man as we can. Most of the emphasis on the role of the woman today is how we are freeing her to conduct herself more like the man conducts himself, to do all the things that the man does. I think it’s helpful for us to come back to the Word of God and find out what the great blessing God intended in the creation of the woman, what great blessing it is when the woman functions the realm that God has created her for as a wife and as a mother.

The book of Proverbs speaks much on the role of the woman, both negatively and positively. I want to look at some negative comments before I look at some positive. I mention that because I don’t want you to turn me off or get up and leave until I’m done. When I’m done you can get up and leave. But I don’t want you to misunderstand. The book of Proverbs says some very strong things negatively about the role of the woman. We think, well is God picking on the woman. But even in these things that we will note you will see what God is emphasizing is the overwhelming influence and impact a woman has; and when she does not function as God intends the consequences are extremely serious. When she does, she brings great blessing. Now that’s true for men as well, but our focus is going to be on the woman today and particularly in her role as a wife and as a mother.

We’re going to look in the book of Proverbs at a few verses and then we will focus on one particular passage. The book of Proverbs is written to a young man. It begins by exhorting the young man, in fact why don’t you turn to Proverbs chapter 1, and you’ll see it for yourself. Proverbs chapter 1 verse 7 says, the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge. Fools despise wisdom and instruction. Hear my son, your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. Here are instructions to the young man and he is to learn it through his parents, and he is to take it to heart. Both father and mother pass this on to him. This will help explain why things are said the way they are said. We’ll say more about that in a moment.

Very quickly the book of Proverbs, after laying out the importance of wisdom and knowledge, and the importance of this young man to seek wisdom and knowledge and apply himself to wisdom and knowledge, which involves a willing submission to the Lord. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, remember in verse 7 of chapter 1. Then you talk about wisdom through chapter 1 and down through chapter 2 verse 15. Verse 6 of chapter 2 says the Lord gives wisdom. From His mouth comes knowledge and understanding. If we really want to know truth, if we really want to understand things, if we really want to be wise, we must turn to the living God who is the creator of all things and learn from Him. Otherwise, we will be fools. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge. Fools despise wisdom and instruction. In the context we’re talking about the wisdom and knowledge that God gives.

After this extended instruction on the importance of wisdom you’ll note what he says in verse 16. If you really submit to wisdom and the knowledge that comes from God, this will help deliver you from the strange woman who flatters with her words. That strange woman, the foreign woman is the adulteress woman. “She leaves the companion of her youth and forgets the covenant of her God. She abandons the husband that she had married, she breaks the covenant that had been established, that marriage covenant where God joins a man and a woman together. Her house sinks down to death, her tracks lead to the dead. None who go to her return again, nor do they teach the paths of life.” Note, it does not particularly focus on what happens to her. It focuses on the fool who gets involved with her. It’s a word of warning to that young man. It will bring destruction in your life to get involved with a woman who is contrary, functions and lives contrary to the will and purposes of God.

Turn over to chapter 5. He begins in verse 1 by saying, “my son give attention to my wisdom. Incline your ear to my understanding, that you may observe discretion and your lips may reserve knowledge. For the lips of an adulteress,” there’s the strange woman again, “drip honey and smoother than oil is her speech. But in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword.” Come down to verse 8, “keep you way far from her. Do not go near the door of her house or you will give your vigor to others, your years to the cruel one.” These strong warnings—they will bring ruin to your life; ruin to your home if you get involved with the adulteress woman. Rather, the last part of chapter 5 verse 18, “let your fountain be blessed and rejoice in the wife of your youth.” You are to find your full satisfaction in her. Note two reasons given here—you rejoice in the wife of your youth and you find your satisfaction and fulfillment in her, and verse 21, “For the ways of a man are before the eyes of the Lord. He watches over all his paths.” You’ll find fullness of joy and blessing in doing it God’s way. And you will some day give an account to Him for all that has been done; both are true. God desires to bring the fullness of His joy and blessing to a life. That’s why He created marriage, but He also will judge us for our sin.

Chapter 6 verse 23, “For the commandment is a lamp, the teaching is light, the reproofs for discipline are the way of life.” So again, you see the truth that God has given are for your life, “to keep you from the evil woman, from the smooth tongue of the adulteress. Do not desire her beauty in your heart nor let her capture you with her eyelids. For on account of a harlot one is reduced to a loaf of bread. An adulteress hunts for precious life. Can a man take fire in his bosom and his clothes not be burned? Walk on hot coals and his feet are not scorched. So, the one who goes to his neighbor’s wife, whoever touches her will not go unpunished.” You see again both are true. There is ruin and heartache brought to the life of the young man who gets involved with the adulteress, and he won’t go unpunished before the Lord. So, we could look at other passages—chapter 7, chapter 9. Early and repeatedly in the book of Proverbs, these proverbs are gathered together, and the emphasis is given-the destructive impact of an ungodly woman. She brings a man to ruin, destruction and disgrace.

The book of Proverbs warns about a wife who is contentious. Look at chapter 19 of Proverbs, Proverbs chapter 19 verse 13. “A foolish son is destruction to his father, and the contentions of a wife are a constant dripping.” The contentions of a wife are a constant dripping. Now you have a woman who has become a wife, but she’s a nag. She just constantly is at it. It’s like a constant dripping that drives you crazy. You know it’s the Chinese water torture, and you just can’t get away from it. Isn’t this an encouraging Mother’s Day sermon? Just don’t quit yet. While we’re here just take note of verse 14, “”House and wealth are inheritance from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.” You’ll note where the writer of Proverbs is going and the emphasis he brings. The woman whose role is so important, the wife’s role is so crucial. You must have the right wife and the Lord provides the right wife. And sad is the lot of the man married to a contentious woman.

Chapter 21 verse 9, “It is better to live in a corner of a roof than in a house shared with a contentious woman.” Look at verse 19, “it is better to live in a desert land than with a contentious and vexing woman.” In other words, it’s better to live anywhere than with that kind of woman. Don’t be nudging your wives, men. Chapter 25 verse 24, “it is better to live in a corner of the roof” (maybe you didn’t get it the first time--just go up and make a little spot in the roof) “rather than live in a house shared with a contentious woman.” Chapter 27 verse 15, “A constant dripping on a day of steady rain and a contentious woman are alike. He who would restrain her, restrains the wind and grasps oil with his right hand.” There’s nothing you can do with her; she drives you crazy.

We see this emphasis on a woman not functioning as God intends. The adulteress woman brings ruin and disgrace, dishonor to the man who gets involved with her. A wife not functioning as she should is constant dripping, just wears you out, brings your life to misery. That’s why the book of Proverbs reminds us that there is a contrast between a wise woman and a foolish woman. Proverbs chapter 14 verse 1, “The wise woman builds her house.” Keep in mind what wise is. That’s the woman who learns from the Lord and submits to the Lord, obeys what the Lord says. “The foolish tears it down with her own hands.” You’ll note the power and influence of the woman. She has the power to build a home, she has the power to destroy it. There is tremendous power, influence and impact in the role of the woman as God has given it, as God planned it in His creation.

Proverbs 18:22, “he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.” That fits Proverbs 19:14, a prudent wife is from the Lord. This is so important, so crucial to a man’s life. Remember Proverbs is addressing the young man, that he must seek from the Lord that woman who would be a woman that would submit her life to the Lord and thus be the instrument that the Lord would use to build this home and bring honor and success to this man. That’s the tremendous role that God has given to a woman as a wife and as a mother.

Turn back to the book of Proverbs chapter 31. The book of Proverbs closes, from verse 10 of chapter 31 through verse 31, presenting the kind of wife that a young man needs to be looking for; you see the tremendous importance here. This collection of wisdom and knowledge from God on life now is closed with this tremendous section. Here’s what you need to be looking for in a wife. That’s what these verses do. They’re not primarily giving a description for a woman to follow, although they can be used that way. They are primarily telling a young man what to be looking for in a woman he would take for a wife, the one who would be the mother of his children. Because that decision will shape his life, his home, and it will make the greatest difference in his life and in his success, the wife that he has. You must get her from the Lord, you have to seek the Lord’s provision in this, or you will have a life of misery. Your home will be a place of unhappiness.

Before we get into the details, I just want you to note something about the structure. Staring with verse 10 and down through verse 31 we talk about the woman, talk about what a godly wife and a godly mother does. Here is the kind of woman you would want to look for, a woman who will do this and live like this and function like this. Then you have verse 23, her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders. And that really becomes structurally the focal point of verses 10-31. Really the only verse that talks about the husband. Some writers have thought it’s out of place, doesn’t fit in this section. But really everything up to verse 23 is building toward that, and everything after verse 23 follows that. In the structure here, we don’t need to go into the details, but everything up to verse 23 is the clear description. Everything after verse 23 parallels what was said leading up to it. For example, just one example, verse 10, “an excellent wife who can find. Her worth is far above jewels.” Verses 30 and 31 really tell you the same thing, the value of that woman. He’s going to give you this description, it climaxes, and this is why the young man needs to realize that this woman I am describing will be the major determining factor in your success. She will become the major factor in shaping you and you’re becoming what you ought to be. Then he will back off repeating those things in a parallel way.

So strong advice to a young man. You need to find the right wife, have the right woman to be the mother of your children, the master of your home. Because it will shape you. One person noted, one commentator, that a young man goes from the realm of his mother in being shaped by that environment, to the realm of his wife and being shaped by that environment. The influence of the wife and mother, hard to measure, it is so important.

In our day being a wife, being a mother, that is somewhat important. But, you know, we have more important things. I mean of course we want to honor wives and mothers; it’s usually given with a passing statement and then what? Then we want to go on and talk about what really matters--I mean a woman’s independence, a woman’s right. It’s even come to the point that major leaders in our country, the determining factor what? The woman’s independence, the woman’s right. We talk about it’s all right to murder babies. Why? A woman must have authority over her own body. Everything becomes self-centered and selfish. We’ll note when we look at the woman in Proverbs, she’s living for others, she’s living serving the Lord ultimately; and then investing her life in her husband and in her children and in her home. That’s a sign of God’s working in her life and what is taking place.

He’s going to, in verses 10-12, give you an overall summary of that woman. Then he’ll get into some details. “An excellent wife, who can find? Her worth is far above jewels.” He’s not saying it’s impossible to find such a woman, he’s saying such a woman is extremely precious. She’s not the common, ordinary woman. This is a woman who fears the Lord and in this day centuries before Christ godly women were a rarity. So, we oughtn’t to be surprised it’s so in our day as well. But she is precious. So, an excellent wife, who can find? Doesn’t mean they are impossible; it means they’re rare. Her worth is far above jewels. The right wife will make a greater difference in your life than wealth, a greater difference for good, a greater difference in your home. How many wealthy homes are shattered, places of misery and unhappiness. Because wealth doesn’t bring happiness, obedience to the Lord brings the joy of the Lord to the heart. An excellent wife who can find. Her worth is far above jewels, and we’ve already seen you have to seek this precious wife, this prudent wife from the Lord.

The heart of her husband trusts in her. He will have no lack of gain. You see immediately the husband will benefit from this wife. He trusts in her. That doesn’t mean he’ll be rich necessarily; he’ll have no lack of gain. But he receives multiplied benefits from her. She becomes the vehicle for God’s blessings in his life. He trusts in her. That’s why when we get to verse 23 it’s her diligence, her faithfulness that makes such a radical difference in his life; and so he trusts in her. Here is a woman he can trust. We looked at the adulteress woman, the strange woman, not a woman her husband can trust. She’s going out behind his back, she’s not being faithful, she’s not doing what is good for him in her home. The contentious woman is not concerned for his good and welfare. She has herself on her mind and she’s nagging. But here this precious woman provided by the Lord, the heart of her husband trusts in her and he benefits greatly.

She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. That puts in perspective. We just read a little bit of what the Bible said about the harmful woman. We see here, she does him good and not evil all the days of her life. Characteristic of this woman, now we’re going to look in the details. We see it with the characteristic of Biblical love. Biblical love is giving yourself for others. This woman gives herself for her husband, her children, her home. And she makes a great sacrifice for that. Now keep in mind the thinking of the world is totally different. You’re going to allow the woman of the world to decide what a woman, a wife and a mother is to be, it’s going to look totally different than when you look at the sovereign God and what He says He created the woman as a wife and a mother to be and to do. The world has this picture of the independent woman doing her own thing for herself. God has the godly woman putting others before herself, giving her life for her husband and her children and her home. And reaping great benefit and joy and blessing in her life.

We start with verse 13 and verses 13-19 really give us the details of the diligence of this woman. This is a hard-working woman, this is a woman who is disciplined and diligent. Having the right home is not easy. There were tasks that had to be done in early Biblical times that we don’t have to do today, but the point and the principle doesn’t change. Having a well-ordered, well-organized, well-functioning home with a husband and children and all the matters related to the home well taken care of is hard work; and we acknowledge that. That’s why the world looks at it and says oh you confine the woman to the home; you give her a life of drudgery. With no outlet she just has her kids and the responsibility of the home. The husband gets to go out and go to work and have fun. And we create these artificial stereotypes. But let’s be honest, taking care of the home is hard work and some of it is just grinding out what has to be done.

Look at this woman. She looks for wool and flax, works with her hands in the light. She is like merchant ships. She brings her food from afar, she also rises while it is still night and gives food to her household, portions to her maidens. She’s doing all that is necessary. Now again, she has to get wool and flax and work with her hands. A lot of the clothes in those days obviously had to be made by hand in the home, and they first had to make the cloth to make the clothes. Spin the yarn, the wool, whatever, so that they could make the cloth so they could make the clothes. Some of that we say we don’t have to do that today. But there are other things we may have to do. We’ll note that as we go along.

Point here is, verse 14 says she is like merchant ships, she brings her food from afar. Again, everything wasn’t contained in the house, and they didn’t have a store necessarily to go to, so it’s like merchant ships. Doesn’t say she becomes a merchant ship. Like merchant ships, they bring in what is ever necessary to the ports. So, this woman is going out doing whatever, getting her food wherever she needs to go to get it. She’s like merchant ships, she brings her food from afar. Maybe some people today, well you know I see the sale at such, and such a grocery store and I go there. Then I went here. You want to say what did you do? Well, this morning I ran to four different stores. Why? Well, went where the sales were, went where the good bargains were…….whatever. Point is this woman is bringing the food in. She’s taking responsibility for the home.

You know the husband here was mentioned, he trusted her, he had no lack of gain. She does him good, not evil, all the days of her life. Now he drops out of the picture. We’ll find out what he’s doing in a moment. And here she is, we’re talking about her now, what is she doing. And this is the kind of wife you want to look for, the writer of Proverbs is saying. A woman who is going to be diligent, apply herself to providing for her family as she should, getting the food.

She rises while it is still night, gives food to her household and portions to her maidens. She’s up before dawn. There are things that need to be done, household taken care of. There would have been servants or slaves to take care and all of these things, have to be sure things are in order, household is taken care of, plans are made. So, keep in mind she’s up before dawn. This is a diligent woman, a hard-working woman. She considers a field and buys it, from her earnings she plants a vineyard. Here we have a woman buying and selling. There is no issue in Proverbs whether a woman is allowed to make money or not. That’s not an issue here, not an issue, oh a woman is never allowed to make any money. Point is she is functioning for her home here; this is part of her responsibilities. She considers a field and buys it. Part of her responsibility is to take care of the family. Where are we going to get our juice? You just didn’t go down to the grocery store and buy juice, wine. What do you do? You plant a vineyard. Part of her responsibility is getting the place she can do this, do the gardening, do these kinds of things that will be raised. Have the vineyards so the grapes could be planted. She’s wise, she uses her money wisely and she buys and sells. She has money then to use for here. So, she operates within her budget, so to speak, from her earnings. She plants a vineyard. Point being that from what she’s done she’s using what she has made in one area to buy something in the other area. Not so different from what wives and mothers do today. They have a budget or a certain amount they work with, and they save money here and spend it there. Just part of what has to be done. Well, I saved more than I thought I would here, and that gave me more to spend here and do what was wise. That’s the picture here of this woman.

She girds herself with strength and makes her arms strong. Now in our day we’re not quite as much into physical strength for the woman. But the point is she has prepared herself, disciplined herself physically to be able to do what needs to be done for her home. There was a lot more physically strenuous activity done obviously in those days. Now we have machines to prepare things. This is not saying oh if you’re going to be a good wife and mother you should make everything from scratch. I’m not saying you can’t do that, but it’s not requiring that. It is requiring a wife and mother to be a good manager of her household. You’ll note there is much responsibility given to her here. Men need to realize that. You seek the right wife from the Lord, and you trust her and she’s making these decisions and seeing that the house is cared for. That’s a good thing. We’ll see this later in our study in I Timothy. She runs the house, she manages the affairs of the household, sees that things are properly taken care of.

She senses, verse 18, that her gain is good, her lamp does not go out at night. Now remember verse 15—she gets up while it is still night. She’s up before dawn and she’s still working after the sun goes down. Her lamp doesn’t go out at night. So, she’s up before the sun and she’s still working when the sun goes down. Now again we’re not saying that this woman just must drive herself into the ground. We’re going to see that she has time to take care of herself and take care of herself well. What we’re saying is here is a diligent, disciplined woman who is devoting herself to the responsibilities of this home and that’s what she’s done. She’s up before dawn and she’s up after dark seeing that what’s necessary is being done.

She stretches out her hands to the distaff and her hands grasp the spindle. This is not just a wealthy woman who’s cracking the whip for the slaves and servants. She’s doing the work. I mean you have to spin the yarn, weave the stuff. You’ve got to get the cloth ready so you can make something to wear.

So, verses 13-19 show this is a diligent working woman. A lazy woman does not make a good wife or good mother. That’s the point. So young man, instructions given here, you’re looking for a wife who loves the Lord and will serve Him. One in whom you can place your trust, you can be confident that she will take care of your home and your family. Not because you’re going to neglect it, but because your responsibilities will be different. You know it’s a big thing today to talk about shared responsibilities and it’s going to be a 50/50 split, and we’re going to share the household duties and we’re going to share……… You don’t get that from Proverbs. We’re studying Proverbs here. We ought to look and see. God did not make the man and the woman exactly alike. He didn’t make the woman to be just like the man for 50% of the time, and the man to be just like the woman 50% of the time. He made them different to complement one another. Then when they are joined in marriage, they become one. Now you know why you have trouble when one-half of the one is not functioning as they should. We’re emphasizing the woman today, but obviously if the man is not functioning as he should you’ve got two have become one and half of the one has gone to pot. Well, you bring misery to that oneness. Here you have the woman who is diligently taking care of what has been entrusted to her from the creation. God created the man and then created the woman out of the side part of the man and then the realm and the roles of the woman being different from the man from the beginning. And she was made to function differently. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t work hard. Obviously, she is.

Verse 20, some of the details of what she does. She extends her hands to the poor, and she stretches out her hands to the needy. This woman does not only do what is necessary for her own home. You remember in Israel they were responsible for the poor and the needy. So, she is looking for ways to help other people who are in need—preparing food, providing clothing. So, she’s reaching out just beyond her own family now to helping others. Because obviously she’s preparing for her family, she can prepare extra. It will be more work, but that will help meet the need of these poor people here that are without right now. She’s making clothes for her family, she can make something extra, extra cloth to give them to make, or extra clothes. She’s ready to help the poor and the needy.

She’s not afraid of the snow for her household for all her household are clothed with scarlet. That’s an interesting verse and beautiful. She’s not afraid of the snow for her household. In other words, cold weather coming, she’s not worried about it because she’s made preparation for them. She’s got their winter clothes ready. And you know what? She just didn’t get whatever would be around or make something, her household are clothed with scarlet. You know what? She not only provided for them, but she’s also provided for them well. This emphasis is not here that she’s rich because remember she’s been working and she’s made herself strong, she’s doing labor and she’s working the spindle. When you talk about winter weather coming you know what? She not only has clothes prepared for her family, she has fine clothes prepared for her family. Point being she’s planned well, she’s managed well. Similar to what might be done today, people go out. Ladies today shop, they don’t have to make their clothes. Some of you make them, that’s fine. Some of you shop sales. Her family is going to be dressed in scarlet in the winter. Not just winter clothes, but nice winter clothes. Again, I’m not saying we have to dress our families richly. But the point is this is a woman who thinks and plans and prepares. So, it’s not just saying well if my kids have clothes, they have food, that’s all right. No, they’re well taken care of, is the point. She makes coverings for herself. Now this is not a woman who, you get home and she’s still in the bathrobe and curlers. I can’t help it, if you had been here all day with these kids you would have known what it is like. Maybe so, but this woman doesn’t have that kind of trouble. She’s taking care of it. She makes coverings for herself, and her clothing is fine linen and purple.

We understand the two have become one. What God is saying is the biggest difference in that man’s life and why he is there is that woman. Now she isn’t in the gate, she’s not sitting with the elders. But God gives her the credit for him being there. That’s the point here. That’s why in the structure…This is an acrostic. A lot of work went into this under the direction of the Spirit. Verses 10-31, each verse begins with a different letter of the Hebrew alphabet. Now we can’t reproduce that in English because our letters are totally different, we couldn’t get the impact. But if you were saying this in Hebrew, each of these verses begins with another letter of the Hebrew alphabet. You know first A, then B, then C, then D—all that work. Not only did he do that, but he built that to the climax of verse 23 and then you have a descending order of he repeats what he has said. All emphasizing, young man you realize that it will make all the difference in the world that what you are going to be in life, the woman you marry.

Now this is important not only for my family, not only for my kids, not only for the condition of my house, but now it’s a largely determining factor what I’m going to be. Well, the most important decision is where you will go to school. The most important decision will be what job track you take. The most important decision you will make is the wife. That’s what it says. And here we build to all this, and she’s been working, in our expression working like a fool, working her fool head off morning to night; and here’s her husband sitting in the gate. He’s getting the glory, he’s there with the important people. She’s home for the kids. But the Lord has it all in perspective and she has great joy and blessing.

Now where do we go from there? Remember we’re going to repeat, and we can’t do this, put it up on a projector and you could see it. If you pick up some of the commentaries, they’ll lay it out and show you how now verse 24 will parallel what was said in verse 25 as we move away from this focal point of verse 23. “She makes linen garments and sells them and supplies belts to the tradesmen.” You see we’re going back and talk about what she did. Buying and selling and making provision. Part of what they did then. How did they get their clothes? Well, somebody made them, there were no manufacturers, per se. But she not only makes clothes for her family and some to take care of the poor, but she also makes some so she can sell. Because there are certain things, she won’t be able to make or provide, so she sells things to get extra income so that she can trade and buy; part of the bartering that goes on, even in other parts of the world today. You watch a travel program; they show you things that they make and then they go to market and trade it and they trade for this, and they sell for this and buy this. And that process going on so in some of the more primitive, as we would view it, part of the world this process still takes place. Some of you still do it in a variety of ways, things you make and buy and sell, and buy low, sell high, buy high, sell low. Sometimes it goes well.

Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future. We already learned she didn’t worry about the future. She smiles at the future, strength and dignity. This is not the frazzled housewife. Strength and dignity. You know what God has called us to do may bring a lot of pressure to our lives and may take every ounce of our strength, but there is always sufficient provision from God to do all that He calls us to do, in the way that He calls us to do. This woman is manifesting godly character. She’s taken hold of everything God has put within her responsibility and she’s doing it with strength and dignity. She can smile at the future. Because she controls the future? No, only God controls the future. But she has done everything she can to be prepared for the future within the realm of her responsibility. Now note she is not at the gate making her husband’s decisions. She’s at home making the decisions that are hers. And you see the balance, that they complement one another. The husband can be there and he’s doing what he does because he trusts his wife and she is entrusted with the things in her realm.

She opens her mouth in wisdom and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. And that would be true. We saw in Proverbs chapter 1, my son listen to the teaching of your father and your mother. Her children would be those part of the household would learn from her. Other wives and mothers would learn from this woman, like the older women teaching the younger women in the New Testament. So, she opens her mouth in wisdom, the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Again, we saw some of the details of that. She has the home well taken care of. And you’ll note there’s no mention of the husband here, Old Goofy sitting in the gate. That’s not the picture here. The picture though, we left him in the gate, that’s all we find out about him. He trusts her and he’s off to the gate, but he can be at the gate because of who she is and what she does. So, she takes care of it. Now I’m not saying the husband can’t contribute to the home. But you know we’ve got this idea, the husband comes home from his……….well I’ve been with these kids all day, now you ought to take them. I’ve done this……… You know we ought to, and the husband ought to be sensitive, he ought to be willing to help his wife. Every family is different, I don’t want to put anybody in a stereotype here and I know how sinful we men are. We’re always looking for ways to shift more responsibility to our wives. We’re talking about the godly woman here, how we must appreciate her.

She looks well to the ways of her household, she’s not an idle woman. I don’t know what the version of soap operas was in those days. Probably the ladies, instead of working, sitting around and passing around stories. They functioned a lot more in units in those days and instead of getting the wash done or the bread made, or the clothes woven, what did they do? Well, I got carried away, spent 3 hours talking, I should have been working. Our version would be I turned on the TV and got engrossed in something and didn’t get anything done. There is no idleness here, is the point. She takes care of the household in all aspects.

Her children rise up and bless her, her husband also and he praises here. You’ll note here, her commendation comes from her children and her husband. You start to look at the world valuing you, admiring you and holding you up, you’ll have to go to a different standard than God’s standard. The world looks at what are you? Well, a housewife. Oh, that’s too bad. I mean where did you go to school, what degrees do you have? Have you ever had a job? I have these degrees and I work this job. I’m saddened. I watched a program this morning and it was a program I would agree with mostly, theologically, and they were interviewing a woman. And she may have been a fine woman. I was disappointed with the emphasis it gave. Interviewed her at work, at her job, talked about all that takes out of her, and then how she has to get up early and get the kids ready. She leaves for work so her husband can take care of the kids before he takes them and drops them off. And I thought is this really what we want to model? How wonderful this woman, get up and get the kids taken care of, out of the way and get off and do a job, make money. How this is addresses working outside the home, I don’t know; but I am saying we need to be careful what God says is the woman’s realm—the home. I’d far rather see them interview her in the home, talk about how she takes care of the home. It is the focal point of life, even if something else is being done. And her praise comes from her children and her husband. There was a day when a mother’s role was much more greatly honored and admired. Now today it’s not. The role of a wife, a mother, that’s only all right if you have something else, you know not just having children.

The children aren’t the focus here you note, the husband is, verse 23. You know I married Marilyn so I could have all her attention. Then those kids came in the picture. But praise the Lord they’re back out of the picture. I love them, but you know the permanent relationship in this is not the kids. They came late and left early. Marilyn came early and stayed late. We’re together, the kids are gone. They have their own home, they’re busy with their own lives. We enjoy them, but Marilyn and I are still the one. You say well what does it do? They wife, she devotes herself to the home, she devotes herself to the kids, then the kids grow up and leave and she’s left empty. All that means is now I can get all the attention I was lacking all those years. The work is still not done.

So, you’ll note here, verse 23 is the focus. I’m not minimizing children and children obviously become a great part of the mother’s life. We’re honoring mothers today, we want to put all of that in proper perspective—the home, and our home continues. With or without children we have a home. Our relationship as one continues. Her children rise up and bless her and her husband does, and what do they say? Her husband praises her. Many daughters have done nobly, you excel them all. In other words, from his perspective, I have the greatest, best wife in the world. Too bad, all the rest of you can fight for 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th—I have the best wife in the world. I do. And other husbands would stand up and say I have the best wife in the world, because she is the best, the right wife for you. You appreciate that, you appreciate this woman and what she means to my life. What has God given me that would compare to my wife. The idea that now I am successful and important, now I have money, now I have a job. And you know she just hasn’t been able to keep up. She didn’t get the same kind of education as I did; she didn’t get as much schooling so we’re not on the………. No wonder homosexuality is so popular. You wanted to marry a boyfriend. God gave you a partner to complement you. My wife didn’t have to go get a PhD in theology or else we don’t have things in common. I mean what are we doing? What kind of thinking is this? We think well see that’s why it’s important. If the wife doesn’t get the same kind of training there’ll be an unequalness. I look at something unequal here—wife wasn’t being trained to sit in the gate. You’re not looking for a wife who can sit in the gate. God made the man and the woman different, and we appreciate the marvel of our creator and the beauty of what He has created and that it is good. Then we will honor that, desire that and know that that is our best and our good. The world thinks oh no do it this way and we’ll have happiness. And what do we see? Sad headline in the paper, our local paper, in the last week or so. What did it say? State of Nebraska failing as a parent. State of Nebraska is failing as a parent? Since when did the state become the parent? So now we have a series of articles on how the state is not doing its job in taking care of kids that are not being taken care of in their homes. And it’s where we’ve come to, but heaven forbid we ought to be more concerned about teaching junior highers how to use condoms and have safe sex than we do have any concept of what God says homes are truly to be. And everything unravels. We say this is hard to fix. No, it’s impossible to fix. But we in the church of Jesus Christ ought to know truth and ought to desire wisdom and understanding. And the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.

We come to the truth of God’s Word, and we find the beauty of His creation and we do honor and admire wives and mothers and appreciate greatly the immeasurable impact they have on a life and a home, on men. We should honor them accordingly and they ought to hear it from us often, because we cannot expect the world will admire God’s plan. But we are privileged to enjoy the blessings and joy that come from obeying that plan.

Let’s pray together. Thank you, Lord, for your grace, your provision. Lord, it’s a grace that’s provided salvation in your Son, Jesus Christ. But it is a grace that provides for every area of our lives. How sad that we as your people should forfeit the joy of your blessing because we think the world has something to offer. Lord, give us obedient hearts, the desire for true wisdom and understanding. Give us the fear of the Lord. Thank you for the wives and mothers that have so greatly impacted and influenced our lives. Thank you, Lord, for their work and labor not appreciated in the world in these days, not honored as it must be. Give us a greater appreciation. There is no more honorable role, no more important role, no more exalted role than that of a wife and mother. Lord, may we find our joy and satisfaction being all that you created us to be. We pray in Christ’s name. Amen.