The Love of Spirit-filled Husbands

Transcript

GR 158
11/23/1975
The Love of Spirit-filled Husbands
Ephesians 5:25-33
Gil Rugh

Ephesians Chapter 5; Ephesians in the fifth chapter and I would like to begin reading with the 22nd verse as you follow along in your Bibles. Wives, be subject to your own husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ also is the head of the church, he himself being the savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives are to be their husbands in everything. Husbands’ love your wives, just as Christ also love the church and gave himself up for her. That he might sanctify her having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word. That he might present to himself the church in all her glory having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and blameless.

So husbands are also to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of his body. For this cause the man shall leave his father and mother and shall cleave to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is great, but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each individual among you also love his own wife even as himself, and let the wife see to it that she respect her husband.

Chapter 5, we are in the section dealing with the husband wife relationship, we will be focusing attention on the responsibility of the husband. All of this flowing out of verse 18 of Chapter 5. We’re not to be drunk with wine, but to be filled with the Holy Spirit. In other words the controller of my life is to be the spirit of God. He is the one under whose influence I conduct myself, and the manifestation of his control in my life will be very clear in my family relationships. And a wife is under the control of the spirit, it will manifest itself in submission to her husband.

Of course the basic ingredient in all of this is that a person have the spirit of God in their life. The spirit of God takes up resonance in your life, the moment you place faith in Jesus Christ as personal savior. You respond to him and place your faith in him as your savior. That moment the spirit of God counts and takes up resonance in your life, and he comes for the purpose of controlling you and molding you into the person that God intent for you to be.

Now it is possible that a Christian will have the spirit of God in dwelling his life as every Christian does, but not be allowing the spirit of God to control him. And it will manifest itself in conduct which is not in accord with the word of God. But if we are submissive to spirit then we will be the person to God intent for us to be. Tied with this is the fact that the Bible is God’s revelation of himself. And if I want to find out how my wife is to function, then I come to the word.

If I want to find out how I am the function as a Christian husband I come to the word. And I can have objective final truth on what the proper place of a woman in the marriage relationship is, what the proper place and responsibility of a man is in the marriage relationship. Now I can chose to not accept it or rebel against it, but that will not change the truth of what God has revealed.

Remember foundational as well is the fact that God established marriage, and since he is the one who founded marriage and created man and women to have a permanent relationship with each other, then he is the one who authoritatively can speak to what the proper relationship are to be. In verses 22 to 24 which we looked at last week, the wives position was stated very simply to be one of subjection to her husband.

The analogy of that is to be developed is the relationship between Christ and his church, and the marriage relationship between a man and women is to portray the relationship that Jesus Christ has with his church. The man is the head of the women just as Christ is the head of the church. Thus wives are to subject to their own husbands in everything.

Now we come in verse 25 then to the husbands’ responsibility. And it very simply stated is to love our wives. Now again just as what the scripture says about the wives position, it goes beyond any cultural situations, it goes beyond any personality situations. So also does the husbands responsibility, it is not culturally related it is not personality related. It's not going to be a matter while some husbands are more loving than others. I am just of a different personality that doesn’t enter into it at all.

Regardless of our various personalities and character traits God’s purpose for a husband is that he loves his wife. And if he loves his wife it will manifest itself, as we will see in the section before us. So he begins in verse 25 with the command or exhortation, husbands love your wives. That is the basic requirement.

So I want to know what is my responsibility as a Christian husband, it is to love my wife. Paul uses here the word for the highest type of love possible agapao. There are other words he could have used. He could have talked sexual love Eros it’s not talked about in the New Testament. But it is an element of marriage love, the sexual or sensual aspect of the love that is not what he talks about.

He got to talk about # type of love, which is family love and which seem appropriate here. The relationship among family it has the idea of a response type of love involved with it. But he goes beyond even that to the ultimate type of love agapao type of love. This love is basically characterized by being self-sacrificing. It is a love that operates on the basis of the person loved only has nothing to do with any response I get.

I am to love my wife simply because she is my wife, not because I receive any pleasure in it, not because of the type of response that comes back, but simply because she is my wife. Now that’s pretty well begins to cut off all excuses that we offer. I would love my wife, but if she is your wife there are not buts, I am not love her. But you don’t know my wife, no and I don’t care to.

I know my wife and my responsibility to her is to love her. There are no exceptions just like there were no exceptions in the wives submission to her husband there are no exceptions to the husbands love for his wife. The command here and it is a command what we call the imperative mood something that is a command, you must do. And it's in the present tense, husbands be constantly loving your wives, be continually loving your wives. That is the responsibility it is to be mine all the time. There is never a break when I am not to be manifesting love to my wife that is to be my continual reasonability today, tomorrow and ten years and 100 years, if we are here I am to love her.

Now he gives the basic analogy to this or demonstration of this kind of love. And again if you are going to understand what your relationship with your wife is to be, you are going to have to see something of the spiritual relationship that exist between Christ and his church. And this ties back again to the connection between practice and doctrine.

If you do not understand Christ relationship with his church, your relationship with your wife will not be what it are to be. That’s why the devil delights in keeping husbands ignorant of the scripture, because that effects every area of their character and conduct and thus the husband who is not knowledgeable in the word of God will not function properly with his own wife, with the great demonstration of this love is Christ.

So in verse 25, husbands love your wives, just as Christ also love the church and gave himself up for her. So you know the exulted standard, love your wife just as Christ loved. Now you can get no higher manifestation of love than the love of Jesus Christ. Again we like to pull it down onto the human level. Well my treatment of my wife is better than so and so on and on and on that’s not the standard, the standard of my relationship with my wife is the love of Jesus Christ, and his relationship with his church.

You say that’s too higher standard for me, and you are right, it is. But it's not too higher standard for God, that’s why only comes about as you allow the spirit of God to control your life. Because if you don’t, then you cannot measure up to the character of God as he would have it in your life.

Just as Christ loved the church that is the statement of fact; Christ loved the church, simply stated he manifested this love and that’s what did he do, he gave himself up for her, the basic element of agape or agapao type of love is self-sacrifice. It's not a feeling, it's not an emotion, and it’s not a statement. You say, well look I love my wife I told her that this morning, that’s nice it's nice to tell your wife you love her. But that is meaningful if it does not manifest in your conduct and relationship with your wife.

What did you do to demonstrate your love for your wife this past week, how was it reflected in your conduct with her, very simply in the relationship between Christ and the church, Christ gave himself on behalf of the church. Another words for us to be the people that God intended for us to be it was necessary that Jesus Christ give his very life on my behalf, and since he loved me he was willing to go to the ultimate extent, and that is the greatest expression of love.

In John's gospel the 15th Chapter in the 13th, verse greater love has no man than this. Then a man lay down his wife for his friends that’s the ultimate. I can give my possessions, I can give money and everything else to my wife or on behalf of my wife, but the ultimate sacrifice is that I would give my life, and that’s what Jesus Christ did for the church, that’s what he did for me. He loved me with his kind of love, no response coming back, I did not love him I did not manifest any interest or concern over him, but he loved me.

You know this is a love that’s coming one direction, and thus he acted on my behalf didn’t matter I was disinterested, didn’t matter I didn’t care. He loved me so he acted and he gave himself on behalf of the church why, in order, that verse 26 and really down to verse 27, Paul is going to develop this analogy between Christ and the church, because it's so foundational to our relationship as husbands with our wives, in order that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water, with the word.

We are going to find out as he manifested this love and this self-sacrifice that it was totally for the good of the one loved. It takes not into consideration itself, but it focuses totally on the one who is loved and he did it in order that he might sanctify her. Word sanctify means, to set apart; to set apart the church, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word. He tells how this process of sanctification was brought about.

How was I set apart, well I was washed. And this becomes a verse that people who believe that baptism is necessary for salvation like to use, because you are washed with water. Now you’re washed with water what else could that mean, but you are baptized. In the religious context, when else does a person get washed with water, mean when you are baptized is the logical time.

So people would turn this verse and say see, you are sanctified, having been cleansed or washed by the washing of water. Therefore it's when you baptized, the problem is it isn’t over, having been cleansed by the washing of water what, in the word. And this is a very important addition, it doesn’t say wash with water when you were baptized, it says wash with water in the word. And very clearly we have an analogy here, that the washing takes place not in the baptistery, but in the word of God.

So we are not talking about a physical water, we are talking a spiritual cleansing. You were washed where, in the word of God; when where you sanctified by God, when you responded in faith to the word of God. Back up to the gospel of John in the 17th Chapter, John’s gospel in the 17th Chapter, Matthew Mark Luke John the 4th book in your New Testament and 17th Chapter, Christ prayer on behalf his disciples and subsequent believers before the crucifixion.

And in verse 17, Jesus is talking about the disciples with his father and he says, sanctify them in the truth. The eye word is truth. So where does sanctification occur, in the truth. What is the truth? The word of God. So when I talk about being washed, what am I talking about? I am talking about being exposed to the word and its cleansing effect. We read in our church practice today into the word instead of taking our church practice out of the word.

Look at Chapter 15 of John; verse 3, John 15:3, you are what already cleaned; why, because of the word which I have spoken to you. So the disciples were cleansed how, by the word of God. As Christ presented the word what happen, they respond in faith. What happened, they were cleansed. There are different aspects of your salvation and different aspects of your sanctification.

You are sanctified the moment you believe in Jesus Christ to say, but you are set apart by God for himself. The process of sanctification that was continued in your practice, because God is in the process of conforming me to his son, making me in practice what I am in position. But Christ gave himself why, that I might be sanctified and cleansed before God. And I am cleaned with the word which he spoke, because I responded in faith to the word as it was presented.

Gil you are sinner, and Jesus Christ loved you and died for you. If you believe in that you will be cleansed of your sin. I responded in faith and believed it; I was cleansed, set apart by God for himself. Essential that Jesus Christ give himself so that could occur, because the penalty for sin was dead. There was no hope that I would be cleaned until the penalty had been paid and Jesus Christ loved enough to pay the penalty.

Look over in the book of First Corinthians, First Corinthians 6 just going back toward the back of your bible a little further. John Acts Romans First Corinthians Chapter 6; verse 9, for do you not know that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God, do not be deceived neither fornicators, idolaters, adulterers, feminine homosexuals, thieves, coveters, drunkards, revilers, swindlers shall inherit the kingdom of God, and such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified. You are cleared right just in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the spirit of our God.

So the sanctification occurs, that washing occurred what happened, I was the filthy sinner. I responded to Jesus Christ in the spirit of God maybe a new person, I was cleansed. Look over in 2nd Corinthian 2nd Corinthians Chapter 3; verse 18, but we all with unveiled face beholding as in a mirror and the mirror is the word of God. James in his Epistle uses the same analogy, you beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord. In other words as I look into God’s word I see the glory of Jesus Christ reflected.

What is happening, we are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory just as from the Lord of the spirit. So what happens, I have been sanctified and cleansed in Christ. But now in my growing process as a believer, as I am exposed to the word the spirit of God is transforming me into conformity with the character of Jesus Christ as revealed in the word.

All provided for by Jesus Christ in his death, you know I wasn’t saved and set apart by God. Now I am doing my best to be pure, no my daily purification is his work as well. Important because, there is a lot of written about sanctification, how you get sanctified, what you do to stay sanctified and on and on and on. All you do is be exposed to the word.

Now beyond you chosen, if the devil wants to keep you from being conformed to the character of Christ what’s he going to do? He is going to keep you out of the word. And thus I have to take every opportunity to be exposed to the word in order that the Spirit might be conforming me to the character of God.

So back to Ephesians Chapter 5, Christ gave himself for me that this might occur. You know the unworthy worthless condition I was in when he loved me. The sins that were enumerated in First Corinthian 6; characterize me I was defile, I was a sinner, I was consumed with my sin and I didn’t have any interest in him, but he loved me.

Alright verse 27, he gave himself up for her that he might sanctify her and then in order that he might present to himself the church in all her glory having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and blameless. Again you know the attention is on the person that he loved.

He wanted to present the church to himself. Note he cleansed her in order that he might present her to himself or rather pretty picture here. Usually in a bride is presented by someone to someone else, but here Christ had to do the work all of it. He had to take me and cleanse me and then present me to himself. But what did how did he want to present me, in all my glory; all her glory referring to the glory of the church.

In other words Christ operated, he gave himself in order that I might be what God intended for me to be. That I might experience and take part in the glory that he had prepared for the church that he would die for, and being presented in all her glory in verse 27 or as a glorious church, means having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing.

I mean there is going to be no defilements. Spot referred to that, which would defile me from without, and wrinkle comes from within. I mean no body has to do anything to me I will get wrinkles on my own. But spots refer to the defilements that comes and without. In other words all defilement and stain that which would be unsightly has been removed, when you see the completeness of his love.

He didn’t do a little bit for me and then trust I do the rest. His work is complete, down to removing all the spots and all the wrinkles in order that I might be holy and blameless so that the church that he died for would be exactly what God intended for to be, holy and blameless. In other words without blame before a holy and righteous God, I am perfect, because of the work that Christ has done. I didn’t do anything. He did it all. I simply responded in faith to what he did and now God sees me as perfect, blameless before him.

Look over in Colossians you are in Ephesians, Philippians Colossians. Two books over and the first Chapter similar type of idea; verse 21 the Colossians 1, and although you were formally alienated and hostile in mind, engaged in evil deed, this was my character this was my conduct, totally unlovely. Yet he has now reconciled you in his fleshly body through death, in order to present you before Him holy and blameless and beyond reproach. Here we see the picture of Jesus Christ presenting me to Himself in the presence of his father, as His glorious church. That by His action, He has rendered totally pure and without blame in His Father’s presence.

So back to Ephesians 5, this is then the love that was manifested. And you see the ultimate extreme that it goes to, in order for me to be presented before God totally holly, totally righteous, totally pure Jesus Christ had to die in my behalf. Fine, he loved me and he was willing to go to the ultimate extreme. The ultimate sacrifice in order that I might be presented to him before the Father, exactly as God intended for me to be. The only way that I could be presented in the presence of the holy God, totally cleansed.

Now that as the demonstration of love, Paul picks up the idea that in verse 28, he has been developing the doctrine of the church. My first intendancy was to think, we will do a few weeks on this section, because we got to study the church more in detail. But don’t want to lose sight of what Paul’s purpose in mentioning the relationship between Christ and the church is, it's to demonstrate the kind of love that a husband are to have for his wife. There is no limit on my love for my wife.

So verse 28, husband are also to love their own wives, as their own bodies. Very simply stated, in the same way husbands are, they are under obligation to love their wives. So the analogy is, Christ loved for the church and you have to understand something of the extent and scope of that love. Now that is the kind of love that every husband is to have for his wife.

And you note how he puts it in verse 28, they are to love their own wives as their own bodies. Verse 22, where wives are to be subject to their own husbands as to the Lord. We noted that does not mean in the same way you were subject to the Lord be subject to your husbands. But that when you are being subject to your husband’s you are being subject to the Lord.

Well same type of idea involved here, husbands are to love their own wives as their own bodies. It doesn’t mean, you know all here I am I go mutual and love with me and I can't get enough of me madly in love with myself, and I love my wife the same way that’s not the idea, hope not. The idea is that I love my wife as part of myself. She is part of my body and I am to love her as part of myself.

So it's not here as another person to manifest love to, but she is part of me, and I am to love her as part of me. Now this is drawing contrary to the philosophy and idea that the world presents today, where you ought to be able to maintain your own individuality in the marriage relationship.

Two people get together and marry, but you are not to lose your own individuality, and strong stress on that, the wife can be her own person and the husband can be his own person. That is exactly contrary to what God says in his word, and he says intended purpose for the marriage relationship. You do lose your individuality, because those two people come together now, and they are one.

And that goes beyond just a sexual oneness, sexual oneness is an expression of the more basic oneness that is to characterize a husband and wife, and does characterize them as God looks at them. The wife is part of the husbands’ body and thus he loves her as he love himself. You know the last part of that verse, he who loves his own wife loves himself.

I mean there is no distinction and it is a trick of the flesh in the world and the devil that men get the idea that they love themselves and so they can't love their wife as much. And they think that their wives are costing them something or are a burden or are a trouble. The whole idea renders divorce into new light. If that is part of my body, you know I don’t have anybody coming up and saying, well look let’s measure him right about here and let’s split just start with the top and split him down, no problem, you know it wouldn’t matter, you just divide the body.

Remember Solomon when he was brought with a live baby and a dead baby, he said, well both of you want the live baby let’s cut it in half you get half and you get half, everybody will be happy. He say all that repulsive, who wants half of the baby, nobody. Why, it's one body, and what is a marriage relationship as God looks at it, it’s one body. Now who talks about breaking the body, rendering it asunder, you don’t. Nobody get up this morning and say, well maybe I have to just tare of this arm before I go to church, make it a little easier. No, we don’t even think of those things.

Well if you set your mind with a Biblical mentality there are certain things you don’t think of, and one thing that cannot cross my mind is you know maybe I have to get a different wife why, because she is part of my body. I mean am I is well adapted, am I as well learn how to function, she is part of me. So when I love her I am loving myself. There is no conflict there.

So it comes that I cannot love my wife too much. I cannot love my wife too much, because I am to love her totally. Did Christ loved the church too much, he said the ultimate expression of love is the self-sacrifice of your own life, am I am the lover to that extent, is there such a thing as I loved my wife too much, there is no such thing, because I am to love her with the total love that Christ loved me as part of his church.

So husbands are to love their wives as their own body. So, first thing that we as men have to get fixed in our minds is that she is part of us. I must treat her as part of me, and you know what that mean that means that my wife doesn’t have problem that means that I have problem. You know a men that come in and sit down and say, you know my wife has some problems and no, we got to get started right; you have some problems because she is part of your body, we like to divorce herself and say well that’s her problem, let her work it out.

You don’t function that way with your own body. You don’t say well look at my hand it's all swollen up and turning black. If it had any sense it go to the doctors, you say what’s wrong with that guy why, because that’s part of my body. I hurry up and get me to the doctor. You know we look at our wives and say am I she has problems isn’t she mixed up I wish somebody to help her. Well she is part of my body who has a problem, I do, who is responsible to meet the need there, I am. It's not a different entity out here that’s part of my body.

We are talking about a normal relationship, here some people commit suicide, some people mutilate themselves, but that is always considered abnormal. The normal thing is a person does not hate himself much as we talk about it we like ourselves. All I have to do is try to get an appointment with the doctor and you find out people are concerned about their bodies and they take care of them, they want to. So no one hates his own flesh, but what nourishes and cherishes it.

In other words all the care and attention that the body needs, he what keeps upon it. We nourish our body, we care for it, and we feed it why, because we like it. And our wife is the same in analogy. Note it carries it over to Christ, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of his body and he just blends with the analogy of the human body the church and Christ and wife and the husband almost without making any distinction.

So that when I loved my own body I am loving my wife. I am to be nourishing and cherishing her in the same way that Christ does the church. Why does he do that with the church, because we are members of his body, he is the head. As members of his body he is totally responsible for every aspect of my care. Is there any area of my life as a believer that Christ does not provision for, there is none; is there any area that I am not responsible for in regard to my wife, there is none.

I am to nourish her and cherish her in every way what is ever essential and necessary for her growth and development. I am to see that it takes place and to nourish her and cherish her like I do my own body. Again this mentality of the distinction I wish get herself together with this or that or the other thing is totally unbiblical, as though that she was the person over here a separate entity and I am separate, no I am to nourish and cherish her the care for her is becomes a great problem, because we as men egotistical, self centered do not like to give the attention to them.

And when something is not right, we like to blame them, but then the responsibility comes back here. You know if I come before the presence of God, spotted and wrinkled you know who that reflects on that doesn’t reflect on me that reflects on Jesus Christ. I will not, because his provision is sufficient. If my wife is not what she ought to be, you know who that reflects on that reflects on me.

You know I see of your character spiritually as a husband, I can tell when I look at your wife. You can tell when you look at my wife. Now we like to think well my wife is the one that’s holding me back I’d be a better man and a more spiritual man for and for my wife, no it doesn’t work that way, not at all. And I am to see myself in light of the scriptural responsibility to nourish her, care for her. We tend to use them for our own ends, whatever is necessary whatever we’d like, do not considering them directly.

We think their responsibility subjections. So you just worry about that then we go on and think we can function selfishly. We do aside of the terrific obligation placed upon the husband. We have to love them with the self-sacrificing type of love. So, if she has a problem or difficulty that’s my responsibility to see that she gets the care and attention that is necessary that she develop and mature into the person that God intent for her to be.

Verse 31, as Paul brings in the Old Testament scripture to support what he is saying here, for this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, shall cleave to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. In light of this, so why is their marriage, I mean people are talking today about the invalidity of marriage contracts and you ought to just live together, open marriage and so on.

The reason it is wrong is because gods intended purpose is a marriage relationship. How do I know that I should leave mother and dad and take up life with one who would be called now my wife, God said that’s his purpose; I think the reason he is driving home this verse, at this time is to show that the marriage relationship and love in the marriage relationship supersedes and goes beyond any other human relationship that can possibly exist even the relationship between parents and children, because that relationship between parents and children will ultimately be broken, because it's God intention that children leave their parents and live with their husband or their wife.

And the husband and wife become one flesh, closeness and an intimacy in that love relationship before God that is not experienced in any other human relationship. And so it goes beyond event the parent child relationship. As much as I love my children my love for my wife supersedes it and goes beyond it. My wife has to come first in my thoughts in my attention and so on.

It's another trap of the world that our attention gets focused on our children at the expense of our wives. You know when we find even families I am interested in like Dear Abby column and so on. I mean the articles are written in where husband and wife are battling and the children of the object. How can that be, my wife is part of me, you know I come home from work, and things are in disarray so I holler at my wife. Whose fault was it? It must be the children’s? Why? My wife is right. How do I know? My wife is part of me and I am always right, therefore the kids are wrong.

I mean you know some things we render as big decisions when there is no decision to be made. I mean I don’t have to decide whose side am I on now, am I on the child side or am I on the wife side, there is only one side, we are on it together that is an artificial rendering of the body. When I find my wife and I at odds, and the relationship between the husband and wife the best thing for our children is that the husband and wife relationship be what it ought to be in light of the word.

That is the best thing that can happen to the children, gives them the security of the God intent for them and it prepares them for the time when they will leave that relationship and enter into a permanent relationship with the partner that God has prepared for them. I take you to love that my children have for me is nothing compared to the love that God will produce in their lives for the partner that he gives them to spend life with, and it is just a different type of love and different quality.

Now as when the God they love, but it does not have the depth in the oneness that is expressed in the marriage relationship. And we as husbands are to be careful that our wives are the center of our attention. That they are the ones who consumer our time in the proper sense; though we are concerned on developing and maturity. We have become one flesh with them and at least and he is not to be said about the responsibility of a parent when his child leaves on we can be selfish with our children as well, and we want to keep our finger on them.

Best thing that my dad ever told me when I got married was that I didn’t have a home there anymore. I mean the decision was made it might will work because I didn’t have any place to come back to, and that was right. And we as parents need to function in light of that and a new relationship has been established. It's not like I can always run back to mummy or daddy; that relationship is over.

Now there is still my parents where they get my respect and love and so on, but a new relationship has superseded that relationship. And we as parents need to be careful we are preparing our children for that, and it's very easy to continue to function selfishly with them by trying to keep them for ourselves and interfering in an oneness that we are not to be interfering with, the two shall become one flesh.

Verse 32, this mystery is great, but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. This mystery is great; you cannot properly understand a marriage relationship if you do not understand the word of God, because it's a subjective divine revelation. That’s why we get such kiosk in the world today in the family situation in the husband and wife relationship.

It is a mystery, it is something cannot be understood with our revelation from God and the unbeliever is not open to the revelation of God. So the only thing he has for standards is his own ideas, and they fluctuate according to the winds of the world. It is a mystery which is great and speaking with reference to Christ in the church and ultimate understanding of the marriage relationship is seen in light of the analogy between Christ and his church.

And when you understand something of the relationship that Jesus Christ has with his church you will understand something of your obligation to your wife. Your responsibility to her and it's totality of functioning in light of what is best for her, making every provision for her, easy for me to get into the pattern my wife has to provide for me, the care for me and I use her.

I don’t understand this great mystery of my relationship and the analogy, what an exulted position and responsibility I have been given to function with her as Christ functions with his church. And if there is an area that she is not what she ought to be. When she, that she has not been cared for then that is reflection on me and I need to get about doing it.

Verse 33, ties it together nevertheless that each individual among you also love his own wife even as himself. And this stress on the individuality of it each individual among you love his own wife as himself. His own wife every single individual, it doesn’t matter you say I am not loving person that doesn’t enter into it at all, none of us are. We are all self-centered that’s why I takes the control of the spirit of God in your life to make you the husband that you ought to be otherwise you continue to self-function selfishly.

When God controls your life, then He becomes the center and He produces the proper love for your wife, and the wife is to see that she respect her husband. You notice he ties this together. There is no overlap. I want to mix it up. If a husband is loving his wife it won’t be subject and subject wife will produce a loving husband and that’s true, when I am the husband that I ought to be God has made my wife to be a responsive person.

Now a loving husband produces the subject wise, but the responsibilities don’t change. If I am not a loving husband my wife’s responsibility is still stated to be subject to her husband. My wife is not what she ought to be my responsibility is still to be loving my wife. Now if we concentrate on what our responsibilities are, let go home and read First Corinthians 13 and evaluate my relationship with my wife in light of the love that bible portraits, in light of the love that Christ has for his church and set about allowing spirit to conform you to that, which transform most of our marriages.

But we want to get focused on the other, is my wife being subject, I know that she wasn’t yesterday when she said this or did that that’s nothing concerning me. I got all I can do or I have to have a life that is patterned after Jesus Christ relationship with his church, that’s enough to occupy my attention, after measuring myself in light of the word. That is the reason that devil loves to keep us means in ignorance of the scripture.

Average husbands’ knowledge of the word of God is pitiful, and thus his relationship with his wife is not what he ought to be. Now to get with back to the issue, you know I work and I do this and I do that, your wonder why. Because it says love your wife and I know I have to be exposed to the word so the Spirit can conform me to the character of Christ in order that the love of Christ will flow through me to her. Yeah I know, but I don’t have time for the word. Well then you better make time. You just have to make time.

Because I have to be the person that God wants me to be, in order that she can be the person that God wants her to be. Very basic, we are not going to look at it, but you can chart it down First Peter 37, where God warns husbands, to dwell with your wives according to knowledge. And I take it if you don’t know the word of God you can dwell according to knowledge, because there is the revelation.

They are the weaker vessel physically speaking and thus are to be treated accordingly as airs together of life. And you are to do it in order that your prayers do not be hindered. There is no such thing as a man under the control of spirit of God, who is not functioning as he ought to with his wife, and that gets back to the very basic issue. Some of us as men are not growing as we ought to, and it gets back to a very basic issue we are not functioning in the marriage relationship as God intended it.

And that is a tragedy because my relationship with my wife is to be a clear picture to the world of Christ relationship to his church is to be a clear picture to my children of Christ relationship to their church that ought to be very clear. He wants to understand one of my children will understand what about Christ relationship with his church, well it's just like dad is with mother. And how I treat her is how Christ treats the church.

And we got to be able to say that with our children without any embarrassment, often it's a little awkward because they really know how we are. And we don’t want to portrait them the inconsiderateness and the lack of attention and feeling and care that is often manifest our wife it ought not to be, it need not be that’s exciting; that I can be the husband that God intent me to be, because Christ need every provision for him, and I am simply willing to submit to the spirit, and allow him to conform me to the word of God.

It goes all back to Ephesians Chapter 5 verse 18, now if you are husband who is here and do not have the spirit of God dwelling within you, you are a selfish person, just like every other person is, the only one who can make a difference in your life is God himself. And he says, he will he wants to. He wants to come and take up resonance in your life in order that he can produce his love through you to your wife.

You place your faith in Jesus Christ see yourself as a sinner respond to him in faith that moment God cleanses you from your sin takes up resonance in your life and begins to produce the character if he is on in you. If you are believer then the spirit of God is there and he is there, because he wants to control you. He wants to produce God's love for your wife.

And it goes without saying since this is a love produced by the spirit there is no such thing as the ultimate type of love for someone other than you wife or you husband that is not a God produced love. I am love with another woman, but a selfish type of love we are down on arrows accentual, selfish love because God produces the highest self-sacrificing type of love and he only produces that for the one that he has called me to spend my life with.

Let’s pray together. Our father we thank you for the totality of your provision for us in Jesus Christ. Lord the great manifestation of his love and willing to sacrifice himself completely and totally, in order that he might prepare us and make us the people that you intend for us to be. Lord the glorious destiny that awaits every believer to be presented to him in your presence, as those who are holy and blameless and without spot. Father pray that we as husbands might see our responsibility and obligation in light of the word.

Lord the glorious position that you have called us to, Lord the opportunity to be conformed to the character of Christ and to have his love produced in us by the spirit for our wives. Pray Lord that our relationship with our wives might be one of nourishing and care, might truly be a picture that clearly depicts the relationship that Jesus Christ has with his church. Pray Lord that our wives will indeed manifest the character that comes as a result of being way to a husband, who is a man submitted to the spirit. We pray in Christ’s name, Amen.