The Roots of a God-Honoring Marriage | One Flesh (Part 1)

Transcript

JRS 81
7/6/2026
One Flesh (Part 1) The Roots of a God-Honoring Marriage
Selected Scriptures
Jesse Randolph

Earlier this week, a one-time child actor named Frankie Muniz who is now 40, announced alongside his now former wife, Paige, that they were getting divorced. The one-time star of the old TV show Malcolm in the Middle, was telling the world that he and she were calling it quits. Now what caught people’s attention was not so much that another Hollywood couple was divorcing, but rather, the way that they announced their divorce. See, Frankie posted a video to his social media accounts, where he and Paige and their son were having a full-on dance party in the living room. They were jumping and they were bouncing and they were flailing just having the time of their lives, as they were announcing to the world that their marriage was done. That they were calling it quits. Now, in the little caption underneath their dance part video, Frankie wrote this, He said: “Life update! Following a period of separation that we kept private, Paige and I have decided to move forward with ending our marriage. After 10 beautiful years together, we’ve grown in ways that made us realize our relationship feels most natural and strong as a deep friendship and as co-parents. We share an incredible son who remains the center of our world, and we’re both happier, stronger parents because of the love and growth we’ve shared.” And then he wrote this, “We’re closing one chapter with gratitude and opening the next with bright futures ahead, for us as individuals and especially for our son. Thanks for the love and support.”

So, you know, just another Hollywood couple getting a divorce, right? What’s new? Nothing new under the sun. Well, OK. But this couple, at least on the outside, appear to be different. They seem to be different. It was just over a year ago that Paige, the wife, was posting all over her social media accounts what she was learning through her times of deep introspective Bible study. In fact, in one of those posts, she mentioned that she was doing a deep dive into the book of Leviticus Leviticus! She says in that post: “I’ve quickly come to appreciate in this book the different light in it, because of the intricate and hidden connections within its text.”
That’s a year prior. Frankie, the husband, less than a year ago, in September of 2025, posted this: “Happy Sunday! I am proud to say I live for Jesus Christ. Who’s with me?” So, in 2025, one spouse is doing a deep dive in the book of Leviticus the other one is saying that he’s “proud” to “live for Jesus Christ.” In 2026, they’re calling it quits. They’re getting divorced. They’re dancing as a way to express their joy and elation over the fact that they, as a couple, are done. Ten years earlier, they were dancing in a ballroom somewhere, having just been pronounced “husband and wife.” Now, ten years later, they’re dancing on the floor of their once-shared living room. But they’re also dancing over the vows they once made to one another. They’re dancing over God’s divine design for marriage.

Well, this morning, we are going to start a new four-part series as I mentioned during announcements, called: One Flesh: Biblical Principles for Honoring the Lord in Marriage. We’ll be taking a short break from our normal study of the Gospel of Luke to take this one-month look-in on God’s design for marriage. Why? Some of you might be asking “Why now? Why a marriage series? Why not just keep plodding through Luke? Why not leave us alone and just take us verse-by-verse through the scriptures and let us figure out marriage all by ourselves?”

Well, there are a number of reasons for devoting the Sundays in July to the topic of marriage and specifically, to God’s design for marriage. Let’s start with this one: As Christians, we all need to be reminded regularly of the high and holy calling God has placed on those who are married. You know, strong families are built on strong marriages and strong churches, in turn, are built upon strong marriages. Even in a doctrinally sound and stable church like this one, marriages do have this way of sliding and deteriorating, if they’re not carefully watched over, and tended to. It happens. It happens that a marriage, even in a church like this one, can fall into a rut. It can slip out of gear. It can start sputtering. It can start smoking. You both know, husband and wife, that you said, “I do.” You’ve got the wedding pictures, and the wedding album to prove it. You’ve got the marriage license somewhere filed in a drawer that would prove that you’re married. But, more often than not, if you’re being honest with yourselves, you feel more like two individuals, less so “one flesh.” You’ve busied yourself with ironing out every finer point of doctrine in your personal study time. You’ve busied yourself with serving in the church whenever the doors of the church are open. You’ve committed yourself to pursuing all sorts of other relationships within the church. But in reality, you have failed to cultivate the most important earthly relationship that exists with your spouse. Now, you sort of find yourself just floating along getting by coexisting sometimes, like a couple of ships that are passing in the night.

How do I know? How can a make a statement like that? How can I state that even happens in our church? Well, I just need to look at my calendar every week. Frankly, I just must look at the calendar and take stock of the number of meetings I have related to marriage. I know it’s not just me. I know the other pastors and elders have this same number of matters, marriage-related matters that end up on their calendars. I just need to take stock of our last few church discipline cases, which had to do with what? Marriage. Point being, there really is no question, that even in a church like ours, with a rich doctrinal heritage like ours that we do need to be brought “back to basics”, at times. Including the basics of what God has said in His word about marriage.

A second reason for doing this series on marriage is, that through our time in the Word, everyone’s views of marriage in this church will be elevated. No matter whether you’re married or single, or divorced, or widowed. No matter what marital status category you happen to fall into. Each of us, I’m convinced, will benefit from an intensive review of what God says about marriage. That is because ultimately, what God has said about marriage, is a study and it reflects what God says more broadly about covenant faithfulness. When we study marriage, we’re also going to see, as we get into this later this morning that what God says about marriage, is ultimately reflective of the very Gospel message to which we all attach our hopes. Those truths about covenant faithfulness and truth about the Gospel they are valuable, and they are needed for every Believer. Meaning, the Biblical principles that we will cover in this series though categorized under the heading of “marriage” are going to be valuable not only to the married, but to those who have never been married, to those who never wanted to be married, to those who once were married, and to those who once will be married.

A third reason for this series is to push back on much of what has become culturally normative in our day. And that, of course, includes the notion of so-called “same sex marriage.” The idea that two men, or two women can demand that their inherently sinful same-sex relationship, be baptized by the government and called legitimate “marriage.” But it’s not just the LGBTQ+ movement which is actively working at odds with God’s perfect design for marriage. It goes much deeper than that. There are also issues of: no-fault divorce, premarital sex, fornication, sex outside the safety and confines of God’s design for marriage, cohabitation, adultery, pornography, apathy, disobedience. The reality is that Satan is attacking marriage from every angle. But we know from God’s Word, that he [Satan] is continually prowling around like a roaring lion. We know that he’s continually shooting out his fiery darts. We know that he’s continually fishing in the waters of discontented hearts as he attempts to destroy and distort and diminish God’s perfect design for marriage.

So, there’s much to cover in this series and there’s much at stake. My prayer over these last few weeks has been, that with these next four sermons, starting with this one, today that God would, through His Spirit open our eyes, and open our hearts and truly set us free from any small, or worldly, or culturally contaminated, or Christ-deficient, or self-centered, or God offending views of marriage. Instead, that He would replace those unworthy, inadequate thoughts about marriage, with Biblical thoughts. God honoring thoughts. Thoughts that would not only reside in our minds but lead to action lead to flourishing marriages, marriages that would be worthy of emulation, throughout this church, for many generations. Why this series? Here’s the short answer—after the long one: we need it, that’s why we need this.


Today’s message, part one of four is called: The Roots of a God-Honoring Marriage
And it will be, as the title indicates, a foundational message. A simple message. We’re going to drill-down into some bedrock principles “roots”, if you will, as we look at God’s ultimate design and purpose for marriage. I’ve got eight of these, ok? Eight principles, eight foundational matters related to marriage, for each of us to consider and take home and apply and live out.

Here’s the first one: “God gave us marriage to meet our need for companionship.” Companionship would be the first one. Turn with me in your Bibles, if you would, to Genesis 1. We’re going to be spending just about all our time this morning, in the first two chapters of Genesis, with a couple of turns in-between. Genesis 1, let’s go back to the very beginning, as we look at what God did, and what He decreed in creating marriage in the first place. That is important to say right away that this concept of marriage, the reality of marriage, is not some historical development. Or some social experiment. Or some anthropological accident. No. Marriage was given to us by God. Marriage was created by the Creator of the universe. Marriage was God’s idea, His divine design. Genesis 1, of course we have God’s own account of His creation of the world, and in fact, the universe. Look at Genesis 1:1 – “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.” That blows out of the water, already, any naturalistic explanation of how the world came to be.

Now, as we read on, we learn of the exact process by which God created the material world.
Day One, verses 1-5, God created not only the planet earth, that we live on, but all planets and galaxies which we call “outer space.” He also created light and darkness.
Day Two, verses 6-8, God created the sky, meaning the expanse between the waters beneath us and the heavens above us.
Day Three, verses 9-13, God created the dry land – continents, islands, mountains, valleys. He also created these bodies of water – oceans, lakes, seas. He also created plant life on day three.
Day Four, verses 14-19, God created the sun, moon and stars which would not only illuminate the earth but be for signs and seasons.
Day Five, verses 20-23, God created the marine life and the seas and the birds which fly through the skies.
Day Six, verses 24-31, God made all the animals and other living creatures which live on dry land – cattle and beasts and other creeping things according to their kind.
It was also on Day Six, look at verse 27, that God created man. This is Genesis 1:27 “And God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.”

Now, as we turn to Genesis 2, we have more of this detailed account of the process by which God made man. Look at Genesis 2:7 which says:
“Then Yahweh God formed man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and so, the man became a living being.”
We covered that passage a few Sundays ago in our study of anthropology. Then, we’re told, verse 8, that God “placed the man whom He had formed” in the garden which God had planted – the “garden of Eden.” And the man had a job, verse 15. “Then Yahweh God took the man and set him in the garden of Eden to cultivate it and keep it.” But then God made this declaration in Genesis 2:18, Yahweh God said: “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” And then the process by which God formed this helper for the man is described starting in verse 21, it says: “So, Yahweh God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. And Yahweh God fashioned the rib, which He had taken from the man, into a woman, and He brought her to the man. Then the man said, ‘This one finally is bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; this one shall be called Woman, because this one was taken out of Man.’ Therefore [verse 24] a man shall leave his father and his mother and cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.”

Now, of all that I just read, verse 18 is what I want to go back to for now. Because it’s really jumping off the page, as we set it in context of Genesis 1 and 2. Because we’ve seen, as we looked just at a high-level survey of Genesis 1; as God is going about creating the heavens and the earth as He’s creating the planets and the seas, as He’s creating the sun and the moon and the stars, and the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky. Upon creating each one of those in the first few days of creation, He declares His creation to be “good.” In other words, God saw the results of His creative power. He saw His own design of a shark fin. He saw just how many degrees He had turned up the heat of the sun. He saw the expanse of the galaxies He had formed. And He was pleased. He called it “good.”
However, there was something, back to this passage, Genesis 2:18, that was “not good.” “The Yahweh God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone.” On first read, that language sounds a bit odd to us. Because we know that Adam, the first man was in relationship with his Creator. God had created Adam He had created Adam in His image. He had given Adam a place to live. He had given Adam tasks to do, a place to work. He’d given Adam food to eat and rivers to, presumably to bathe in or drink from. What else could Adam want?

Well, on a human level or on a human-to-human level, the reality is Adam was still alone. Look at verse 19 of chapter 2, it says: “And out of the ground Yahweh God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the sky, and He brought each to the man to see what he would call it.”
And now reading on, we see that Adam got busy about his work, it says:
“. . . and whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name. And the man gave names to all the cattle and to the birds of the sky and to every beast of the field.” But then look at this last part of verse 20:
“. . . but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him.”

At this point, Adam was the only one of his species. He was “one of one.” And so, he was in need of something. He was in need of someone to whom he could relate. He was in need of companionship. Sure, he had work and purpose there in the garden. Naming the various animals turtles and zebras and rabbits and the like. But turtles and zebras and rabbits were not going to give him what he needed, ultimately was companionship. Well, God being good, wasn’t going to allow Adam’s need for companionship to go unmet. Which is why God said, in verse 18: “It is not good for the man to be alone.” But then also, this in verse 18: “I will make him a helper suitable for him.” Now, that word – “suitable.” It could be translated “fit for.” Or “corresponding to.” The idea is that Adam needed someone “like him.” Someone fit for him. Someone corresponding to him, a bearer of the divine image, like he was. He needed someone to come alongside him to work for and serve the Lord with him, in that Garden in which he had been placed.

Well, Adam’s need was met in God’s creation of the first woman. God knew Adam’s need, and God met that need. Look at verses 21-22 again, it says: “So Yahweh God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. And Yahweh God fashioned the rib, which He had taken from the man, into a woman, and He brought her to the man.” Now, it is important to note. I kind of breezed past this but it is not as though Adam’s need for companionship, out of the blue, just sort of caught the Lord by surprise. It’s not as though God looked at all He had made, and thought to Himself, “Whoops.” “I knew I forgot something, better make that woman.” Then He made Eve. That’s not what this text is indicating or saying at all. What’s being emphasized in total here is that Adam had a need. Adam had a need for companionship and God came along and provided it in an incredible way, that need for Adam by creating Eve. God knew that Adam needed the companionship of a woman. A companionship of Eve and so He formed her out of Adam’s rib, out of his side. And that central purpose in God’s creation of Eve – companionship is both central and fundamental to every God-honoring marriage today. Yes, marriages contribute to the advancement of the human race, through procreation. Yes, marriages provide safety and shelter for children who are born to the union of a husband and a wife. Deuteronomy 6 and Ephesians 6 bring out those principles. But on an even more basic and fundamental level marriage was designed by God, because God saw man’s need for companionship and said: “it is not good for the man to be alone.”

So, married folks here this morning how are you faring as your spouse’s companion? How are you living in light this central provision of God’s giving you a companion? Do you make time for your spouse? Do you seek time with your spouse? Do you value your time with your spouse? Do you prioritize your spouse? Do you enjoy being around your spouse?
I mean, jokes abound about “balls and chains” and those sorts of things. But God has called us to a place where we would have true companionship. So, what sort of companion are you? And what sort of companionship exists in your marriage? There is a key reason God put the two of you together, which is to be each other’s companion. Not housemates. Not mere roommates. Not merely a breadwinner and a breeder. But companions. Are you a good companion to your spouse?
That was our first foundational element of marriage that God gave us marriage to meet our need for companionship. Here’s our second one:

God Gave Us Marriage For Complementarity
Now note, I didn’t say “for complements” “oh, you’re so beautiful” “oh, you’re so handsome.” I mean, compliments are good in marriage, don’t get me wrong. Don’t twist the words. Never a bad thing to pay your spouse a compliment. No, God created marriage with complementarity in view. Meaning, where one spouse would help the other one. Now, the liberals will go crazy over what I’m about to say. But this helper relationship is set up by God really in a one directional kind of way. Where the woman – the wife – would be the one to compliment the husband. Would be the one to be the husband’s helper not the other way around. God, to be clear, did not create the man to be the wife’s helper rather, He created the woman to be the husband’s helper. Look at Genesis 2:18 again: “I will make him a helper suitable for him.” Now, to be clear, the word there is “helper.” It says nothing about being a slave. It says nothing about being a servant. It says nothing about being a subject. No. She was created to be his “helper.”
As we look up the page, in Genesis 2, we see again that Adam really did need this help. The Lord had given Adam much to do. You know, for starters, the Lord had given him local responsibilities, verse 15 to tend to the garden of Eden. “Then Yahweh God took the man and set him in the garden of Eden to cultivate it and keep it.” But God also gave Adam this mandate to exercise much broader dominion. In fact, worldwide dominion over the entire animal kingdom. Look up the page at Genesis 1:26, it says:
“Then God said, ‘Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness, so that they will have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the cattle and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.’” Or then down in the second half of verse 28 of chapter 1, it says: “. . . have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that creeps on the earth.”

In other words, Adam was given significant responsibilities by God, and he would need help to carry out his significant responsibilities. Enter – Eve. She was created to come alongside Adam. She was created to be a “helper” to Adam. She was created to be a compliment to him, in the massive responsibilities that God had given him. God created the woman for man. Now, not to be inferior to man. But to come alongside man. To be that perfectly fitting puzzle piece that would be attached directly to the man to be his “helper.”

So, wives, some questions for you. Do you recognize that it is your role, in your marriage, to be your husband’s helper? Not to be the leader of your household. Not to be the one who wears the pants in the family. But instead, to be the one who joyfully comes alongside the one who has been called to lead your household. Do you embrace that role? Or has so many years of feminist theory and ideology have they just washed over you in such a way that now you are thinking, “Well that should be my role too.” Do you grate against God’s perfect design?

Husbands, you’re not off the hook. Are you being wise in how you look to the one whom the Lord has given you, to be your helper? Do you look to her, not only to handle those tasks which you find to be undesirable? Right? Like making a sandwich. Doing your laundry? Or folding your laundry. Or keeping the house neat and tidy, because honestly, you don’t want to do that stuff anyway? Or do you look to her to help you in ways that might actually advance the goals that you, as a good leader, have set for your marriage? Do you look to her, and think, “oh, she might actually have some helpful insights into this problem I’m working through? Or, she might have some special skill that could contribute to what we’re doing in this household, as I lead it? Is she especially industrious in some way like the Proverbs 31 woman, that I could tap into, as I lead this home?
Good leaders delegate wisely. Whether it’s in the government, or in the workplace, or in the home. So, men, help your wife be a good “helper” to you. Be wise in your leadership. Be gracious in your leadership. Be humble in your leadership. Always balancing your leadership against the perfect example of leadership that of Jesus Christ, the ultimate servant-leader.

So, God gave us marriage for companionship. He gave us marriage for complementarity, or helping. Here’s our third one: God Gave Us Marriage For The Purpose Of Procreation. Look at Genesis 1:28, the first few words, it says: “God blessed them, and God said to them. Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth.” These are words that God gave to the first man and the woman, to Adam and Eve “Be fruitful and multiply.” Now, some would say that this one procreation, is the first and most obvious and indeed primary reason for which God designed marriage the advancement, the survival of the human race.

I think at least a couple of responses can be offered to that line of thinking.
First, the idea that Biblical marriage is primarily about procreation, or only about procreation. As some might even say, is actually confusing mating with marriage. The human race, believe it or not, and time and history have born this out does not actually, in the strictest sense, need marriage, to ensure the survival of the human race. Right? A sad truth, that’s been played out more and more, as history advances is that the human race continues to be propagated through the lines of individuals who fornicate who have sexual relations outside of marriage. Leading to an old expression of children – being born “out of wedlock.” The point being the human race is actually capable of surviving and carrying on without the benefits of marriage. So, to say that marriage is primarily or only about procreation I think is over stating the case. Marriage is about more than procreation it’s not just legalized mating or sanctified mating. We’ve actually just seen that it’s fundamentally about companionship.

Now, some put a real heavy emphasis on procreation as being “the” purpose of marriage. By siting that language in Genesis 1:28 – “Be fruitful and multiply.” And I’ll note that it is the first command given in the Bible. Now, it is indeed a Hebrew imperative. But there is a lot more happening in this text than might first meet the eye. I mean, note the very first words of verse 28: “God blessed them.” That’s significant, that “God blessed them.” Because it signals to the reader, that to “be fruitful and multiply” is not a burden to dread but it’s actually a blessing to pursue a blessing to hope for. A blessing, in our day, to pray for. That very idea comes through in Psalm 127:3, where we’re told that “the fruit of the womb is a reward.” Not a burden not a drudgery not a task. A “reward.” You know, God didn’t give Adam and Eve Genesis 1:28 at gunpoint. No, these words were given in the context of blessing. Children are a gift which God originally designed to be given in the context of a marriage relationship between a husband and a wife. God’s original design, His stated design and what is still His design, is that children would spring forth from the union of a husband and a wife in marriage. In fact, listen to these words from Psalm 128:3, which ties together marriage with procreation. Psalm 128:3 – “Your wife [there’s the marriage connection] shall be like a fruitful vine in the innermost parts of your house, your children [there’s procreation] like olive plants all around your table. Behold, for thus shall the man be blessed who fears Yahweh.” So, marriage most certainly has a procreative purpose.

So, marriage has a Companionship Dynamic. A Complementary Dynamic. We’ve just looked at Procreation. Moving on to our next one:

God Gave Us Marriage For The Purpose Of Primacy. Marriage was designed by God to be our primary human relationship. Look again with me, if you would, to Genesis 2:24. I told you we’d be camping out in Genesis. We’ll move to the New Testament soon. But Genesis 2:24 says: “Therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother and cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” So, the man leaves his father and his mother. Now, that does not mean he entirely abandons them, or forsakes them, or he no longer respects them. We know that, because in the very next book of the Old Testament, in Exodus, where the Ten Commandments are given, in Exodus 20 God tells the people of Israel that they are to honor mother and father. So, the man leaves mother and father, yet he still honors mother and father and then he, it says, “cleave[s]” to his wife.” Now, that word “cleave”, join in the NASB “hold fast” in the ESV comes from a word that means to cement together, to glue together, to join. The word here is describing the strongest bond imaginable. You know, in our terms, we go to Lowes or Home Depot, we think of something like superglue, or Gorilla glue, or you can even talk about something being welded to something else.

That’s the sense here. That when a man and a woman are married. The man “cleaves” to his wife. It’s not like in English cleaver that the English word cleaver that divides pieces of meat. It’s actually a concept of joining; he’s joined with her. He “leave[s] his father and his mother.” He creates a new household with his wife as the wife does with her husband. And once this new household is established, this new household becomes their primary relationship. And their priority relationship for this now married man and woman. This means, practically speaking, for those who are married, or will soon be married that the opinion that you are to value most, in your marriage, is that of your spouse. This means – young marrieds or soon-to-be-marrieds, that you don’t go running to your parents to get them to second guess or veto your spouse. It is between the two of you. It’s your household. It’s your home. And while parents can absolutely be wonderful counselors, they can also be terrible third wheels.
On this topic of primacy, does your spouse know that he or she is the most significant person in the world to you? Do they know that you prioritize them in everything? Does it show? Or is something or someone interfering with that primary position that you are to give your spouse?


That transitions into our fifth foundational truth about marriage. Which is that: Marriage Is Designed To Be Our Most Intimate Human Relationship
Intimacy, and this principle flows from what we just looked at in Genesis 2:24 – “. . . and they [it says] shall become one flesh.” Now, that language, at one level, speaks of physical union, physical intimacy, sexual relations. In fact, if you were to look over at Genesis 4:1, you’ll see there: “. . . that the man [Adam] knew his wife Eve, [that is sexual speak] and she conceived and gave birth to Cain.” So, the first man and the first woman, the first husband and the first wife, they came together physically, sexually and a child came from that union. Hebrews 13:4, also brings out this physical dynamic of the “one flesh” marriage relationship. Hebrews 13:4 says: “Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled.” But becoming “one flesh” goes beyond the mere physical aspects of the marriage relationship. Being “one flesh”, rather, amounts to the complete giving of oneself to the other person. A total commitment, a total sharing of the total person with the other person until death.

God’s design is that when two people get married, that they would share everything. And this “one flesh” concept shows itself in a number of different practical way. As husband and wife, they share not only their bodies, but they also share their possessions, they share their spiritual insights, they share their questions, they share their ideas, they share their abilities, they share their problems and worries and fears, they share their successes and failures and shortcomings and tears, they share everything. The husband and wife are a team. Whatever one of them does, be it the husband or the wife, they do so for the sake of the other person. And certainly not to the detriment of the other person. Again, it’s their household and their priority. So, in the eyes of the Lord, and as unto the Lord, each spouse is as concerned about the other’s needs as their own. I mean, that’s really Paul in Ephesians 5:28, where he speaks to husbands, and he says: “So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself.” And wives, they get it from Proverbs 31:12, where it says: “She deals bountifully with him for good and not evil all the days of her life.” A God-honoring marriage is one in which the husband and the wife take seriously their “one flesh” commitments. Which is shown through intimacy at every single level of their relationship.

Here’s our next foundational truth about a God-honoring marriage. This would be number six: Marriage Is Designed To Be Permanent. As we’ve already seen from Genesis 2:24, we saw those words “cleave” or “join” or “hold fast.” That Word describes a permanent relationship. One which is not to be pulled apart. One which is not to be broken apart. One which is not to be torn asunder by anything or anyone. Marriage is a covenant. Marriage is a contract. Marriage was designed by God to be a lifelong commitment. That’s not just Old Testament – Genesis speak. It’s carried over into the New Testament. Turn with me, if you would, to Matthew. Matthew’s Gospel in Matthew 19 if you move all the way up to the New Testament, the very first book of the New Testament is Matthew’s Gospel. Look at Matthew 19, and the scene here is Jesus being confronted by the religious zealots of His day. The hypocritical legalists of His day. The Pharisees. They are trying to get Jesus to stumble over a question about marriage. What they’re doing here is that they are noting that in the Old Testament they would just say – the Law of Moses divorce was prohibited, but at the same time, they were seemingly some limited exceptions to that prohibition. And the Pharisees here in Matthew 19 are essentially trying to catch Jesus in being unable to untie that knot. Jesus gives them their answer in verses 8 and 9. I’m not going to get into that one here this morning. But for our purposes I would like us to zero in on verses 4 through 6. Matthew 19:4-6, where Jesus said: “Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh?” Now, look at Jesus’ direct statement here in verse 6: “So, they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” Note that. The marriage relationship was designed by God to be a permanent one. A lifelong bond. A lifelong commitment.

Well, sadly, this idea of permanence in marriage is far from the thoughts of many today. Earlier this week, I was reading about a wedding officiant, his name is Dave Sloan. Who gave an interview, he said: “I often get [engaged] folks one on one and ask them whether they believe the vow they are about to say, the one that concludes with the words ‘til death do us part.’ [to see if they believe it] So far, the results have been overwhelming. Almost no one believes it.” And so now, this man, Dave Sloan, has employed a new alternate vow, what he calls a “True Vow.” Because he thinks this is a vow that couples can actually keep. Here’s the “True Vow”, he says: “We promise to each other the depth of our dreams and the height of our hopes, the tender treasures and the hidden recesses of our hearts.” Note how that supposed “vow” has no sense, no notion of permanence. There’s no promise being made there. There’s ultimately no hope. In fact, this man, Dave Sloan goes on to say and goes so far to say this: “We ought to boycott weddings with the old vow, [the death do us part vow] unless we have good reason for believing those two unusual people actually mean the old-fashioned promise.” How tremendously sad is that?

Well, arguably even more sad is that that same attitude can be found in folks in the church. Those who would call themselves followers of Jesus Christ. Even more sad than that is the existence of so-called “pastors” today who have contributed directly to this line of thinking. In fact, I’ve had some conversations with some of you, where you’ve got a family member who is in the middle of marital crises of some sort. And they’ve been told by some pastor here in town, that “you know, sometimes things just don’t work out.” “And sometimes people aren’t compatible.” “And sometimes you just need to start over, hit reset, and God wants you to be happy so, yeah, file for divorce, you’re good.” No. That is not Biblical, that’s thoroughly unbiblical. Marriage is a covenant. A permanent commitment between a man and a woman to be joined, and to remain joined. Not “so long as we both shall love” – but “as long as we both shall live.” When two people get married, they promise they’re going to stick it out, together, no matter what for life.

Here’s our next one, number seven, seventh foundational truth about a God-Honoring Marriage: Marriage Was Designed By God, To Be A Source Of Great Joy. Look at Genesis 2:23, going back to the book of beginnings Genesis 2:23, it says: “Then the man said, ‘This one finally is bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; this one shall be called Woman, because this one was taken out of Man.’” Now, how in the world do I get “joy” or “joyful” marital living out of that text? Here’s how. When Adam said the words that were recorded here. He wasn’t saying them as some dry, mundane, recitation of some theological truth, about this “Woman” who had been taken out of his side, and who is now standing there with him. No. He is expressing, in the context here, clearly, great joy. Up until this, just think about it. Adam has been looking around and saying that’s a lion and that’s a turkey and that’s a gazelle. That’s what he’s been doing up to this point. But now, standing in front of him, is one “like him.” And so he says here in verse 23, something that marks his joyful astonishment, that a fit helper had been given by God, to him. The Lord had answered his problem of loneliness and given Adam this woman this wife this helper, one who was like him, “bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.” One who was “taken out of man” and had a likeness to him. Adam was overjoyed here with God’s provision of this woman, this wife. That provides a good reminder to every one of us here to be “glad”, as it says in Proverbs 5:18 “in the wife of your youth.”

Does that describe you? Again, does that describe your marriage? Are you finding, even today, whether you’ve been married for a little while, or married for a long while. Are you still finding joy in the spouse the Lord has given you? Or has your marriage sort of crested and has it plateaued, and now you’re just sort of going through the motions? Now, you’re just waiting for the Rapture, and you’re just sort of dealing with her, until that glorious event happens? With all sincerity I hope that’s not the case for anyone here. The idea of a joyless marriage between two professing followers of Jesus Christ it makes about as much sense as dark brightness or wet dryness it’s nonsensical. Especially when we consider who we are in Christ. When we consider the hope, He has secured for us. When we consider the tools, He has given us, and the Spirit, He has given us to walk through this world, not only in obedience to Him, but in joyful obedience to Him, as the fruit of the Spirit.

That ties right into our eighth and final foundational truth about a God-Honoring marriage. One which truly undergirds everything we’ve covered so far. And which is going to propel us into this series to follow. Which is this: Marriage Has Been Designed By God To Reflect The Relationship Between Christ And His Bride – The Church. Turn with me over to Ephesian 5. This is a key text, it’s a central text and essential text, whenever we cover the subject of marriage. We will get into this more, in the messages to follow. But Ephesian 5, and we’re going to start in verse 22, it reads this way: “Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. [verse 24] But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she would be holy and blameless. So, husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body. ‘For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one.” This mystery is great, but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.”

Now, the main idea that’s being communicated here, actually is not about husband-wife roles and headship and submission and husbands leading and wives submitting. The main idea here is verse 32 where Paul says, “I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church.” That is what is in view here. That is what is in focus here. Now, while yes, there are principles related to marriage that are dotted throughout this passage. Truths that we need to hold to. Good truths. Joyful truths to live out. Key truths. We can’t lose sight of the fact that something deeper is going on here, and that Paul is helping us to see what is behind the very meaning of marriage. And that “something deeper” is Gospel Truth. Gospel Truth is what undergirds every marriage here. That relationship between Christ and His church. Our marriages, we’re told here in Ephesians 5, are ultimately pictures of the Gospel. That message which is rooted in the reality that Christ died for sinners like us. Our marriages picture Christ’s love for us the redeemed, the saved, the regenerated, the Church, the ones He gave Himself for. Our marriages picture our love back, in turn, to Christ as we, as Christ’s Bride, the Church we joyfully and gratefully submit to His leadership and headship and lordship over our lives.

So, is your marriage about companionship? It certainly is that was our first point today. “It is not good for the man to be alone.” – Genesis 2:18.
Is your marriage about two people becoming one flesh? It sure is . Genesis 2:24 – “. . . a man shall leave his father and his mother and cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” Is your marriage about procreation? Yes, it is. Genesis 1:28 – “God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it’ . . .” But do you know what your marriage is foundationally centered on? What is meant to point back to? The Gospel. The Gospel of Jesus Christ. God’s clear expectation of your marriage and for my marriage according to what we see here in Ephesians 5, is that we would make it our aim, as husband and wife, to represent well and to picture the Gospel through how we live with and interact with our spouse. Christ’s love for His Bride, the Church should make more sense to the people the Lord brings into your life because you, as a husband, have embraced and are thriving in your role as your wife’s head and protector and leader as you follow the pattern, the perfect pattern of Christ, as the ultimate servant-leader. The church’s love for her Groom, the Lord Jesus Christ. Should make more sense to the people the Lord has brought into your life because you, as a wife, have embraced and are thriving in your role as a joyful helper to your husband.

Let’s ratchet things up a bit. I Corinthians I tells us that the Gospel, is ultimately “foolishness” to the unbeliever who are blinded. Well, putting Ephesians 5 to work here. The Gospel should at least make a bit more sense to the unbeliever, because of what they see in your marriage. Your marriage should not be, in fact it must not be, a distraction from or a stumbling block to, the unbeliever, ultimately embracing the realities of the Gospel. Rather, when the unbeliever looks in on your marriage and they see how you function as husband and wife, they should see certain things. They should see that there are moments in that marriage, where one party is objectively right, and one party is objectively in the wrong. But that doesn’t change how they treat each other, and love each other, and even serve each other. When that unbeliever looks in on your marriage, they should see, visibly happening before them, forbearance and patience happening in that marital relationship. Something should click for them, when they’ve been presented the Gospel like, how they do that? How they forebear with one another. How they show patience to one another. It’s kind of like who God has been patient towards me, a sinner. When they look in on your marriage, they should see grace and forgiveness continually being extended to each other. Then that will help them better understand the grace and the forgiveness that’s found in Jesus Christ. When they look in on your marriage, they should see the sacrificial ways that you love each other and sacrifice for one another. Picturing, ultimately, the way our loving Savior sacrificed for us.

Marriage is about Christ and His Gospel. Marriage, foundationally, is about us in our relationships, picturing His Gospel. I always like to think about my marriage as being this walking, visible “gospel billboard” for any unbeliever to see. That prayerfully, will end up with them embracing and hearing the Gospel. My marriage, not being the thing that gets in the way of them grasping the Gospel or responding to the Gospel.

So, if you’ve put your trust in the truth of the Gospel individually, of course. You’ve been made new. Your life has been totally turned upside down. You’ve been redeemed from that slave market of sin. You’ve been made alive, though you were once dead. You now have a new identity.
Galatians 2:20 – “I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me . . .” Now, you’re called to picture, in your marriage, the message in which your new identity is rooted. The message of Jesus Christ dying for your sin the message of the cross the message that saved you the message of the Gospel.
As John Piper notes:
“Those of us who are married need to ponder again and again how mysterious and wonderful it is that we are granted by God the privilege to image forth stupendous divine realities infinitely bigger and greater than ourselves.” Amen to that.

So, if you’re a note taker, or if I’ve been going too fast. Or if you’ve been deficient in taking notes. Here are those eight foundational truths about marriage, once more:
Companionship. Complementarity. Procreation. Primacy. Intimacy. Permanence. Joy. The Gospel.
Those are The Roots of a God-Honoring Marriage.” May we each strive to have those take root in our marriages and flourish for God’s glory.